Rise early. It is the early bird that catches the worm. Don't be fooled by this absurd saw; I once knew a man who tried it. He got up at sunrise and a horse bit him.
Mark Twain
Related The early bird catches the worm, but it is the early worm that is caught. STEPHEN DIGBY The early bird catches the worm. WILLIAM CAMDEN The early bird who catches the worm works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm. TRAVIS MCGEE EARLY BIRD Oh, if you’re a bird, be an early bird And catch the worm for your breakfast ... SHEL SILVERSTEIN I think we consider too much the luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the early wor... FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT The early bird gets the worm. The early worm... gets eaten. NORMAN RALPH AUGUSTINE In software systems it is often the early bird that makes the worm. ALAN PERLIS No one should live by the early bird policy without finding out whether he classifies as a bird or a... UNKNOWN The early bird gets the worm. PROVERB The early bird gets the worm. AMERICAN PROVERBS Growing up I was told that the early bird got the worm and I would always answer back "Well the seco... ARMANDO RODRIGUEZ JR Sometimes the early bird gets the worm, but sometimes the early bird gets frozen to death. MYRON SCHOLES The early bird may get the worm, but it is the second mouse that gets the cheese. ANONYMOUS The early bird gets the worm that should have slept in. J.S. DAVEY It is a lie. ARTHUR MILLER Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."
Night peopl... UNKNOWN I think we consider too much the good luck of the early bird and not enough the bad luck of the earl... FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT And the oldest birds hunt when they can see. GREAT APE In the next century it will be the early mechanical bird which gets the first plastic worm out of th... WILLIAM E BILL VAUGHAN Ken was recognized early in his career as a man of integrity, strength and imagination. I hated it w... DON JORDAN The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. WILLIE NELSON The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. JON HAMMOND The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. UNKNOWN The early bird may get the worm, but its the second mouse that gets the cheese. JEREMY PAXMAN The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. ANON. Consider well the proportion of things. It is better to be a young June bug, than an old bird of par... MARK TWAIN I knew once I pushed it up the court and saw [Friars' point guard Donnie] McGrath only looking at me... CHRIS PAUL Rip was aggressive early. And once he got it cooking, we kept going to him and we fed off him. When ... CHAUNCEY BILLUPS I am not an early bird. I go to bed normally between midnight and 1 o'clock, so it is understand... DIETER RAMS The man who backbites an absent friend, nay, who does not stand up for him when another blames him, ... CICERO Being 6-8 and 225 (pounds), playing 32 minutes of basketball, (Justin) is going to wear out. I didn'... JEFF KASPARIE It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise from... ANNE BAXTER It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix bird in you so you rise ... ANNE BAXTER Being down that early kind of took the wind out of our sails and I'm sure everyone was a little bit ... JASON BAY I knew when he threw it that he lost the grip a little bit, ... I told him it was a great decision, ... MARK BRUNELL I just tried to minimize him. I know now he is a great legend. I tried not to get swept up in the ga... MICKAEL PIETRUS Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes ORSON SCOTT CARD Early on, the plan was to try and take as much pressure off as we possibly could by emphasizing the ... AL BORGES We all stared at the scoreboard in stunned silence. Only Carter was able to get anything out. "... RICHELLE MEAD Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy wealthy and wise. BENJAMIN FRANKLIN I saw him scoop it up and I saw the cavalry with him. I thought that he could get it, because I knew... JAMES FARRIOR As the late earl said, ‘The early bird catches birds of a like feather,’” she said. I no... TARUN SHANKER Wake late, win late. AMIT KALANTRI I wasn't angry; I just saw his reaction. He tried to get up off the ground, and he said, 'Hey man!' ... JULIAN TAVAREZ Early to bed and early to rise," Mazer intoned, "makes a man stupid and blind in the eyes. ORSON SCOTT CARD People live for eating,but
I eat for survive OM BENIWAL God may allow His servant to succeed when He has disciplined him to a point where he does not need t... A. W. TOZER The night owl gets the worm! DEDRICK D. L. PITTER We saw enough glove saves from him early in the game. I knew I was going blocker. CHAD KILGER Early to rise, early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead. ANAMANIACS I knew some of the guys (in the Syracuse lineup) from last year, and a lot of the new guys didn't wa... BOOF BONSER We told Cedric to be more aggressive. That [the dunk] got him pumped up and it got the team pumped u... ANTONIO COGHILL I know it wasn't that fun early in the year. I tried to keep myself positive. This is a marathon. VICTOR MARTINEZ I knew that the significance would be known and understood by everyone in 10 years. I'm extremely pl... BURT RUTAN We got up early and played good defense. I think we frustrated them a little bit. JOSH HARTMAN Obviously knowing that they've got a little bit of stuff going on ... we wanted to make sure we jump... TODD BERTUZZI It's always good to get the lead early. We've struggled a bit with that this year. Tonight I thought... ANDY MCDONALD We knew he wouldn't go all the way, so early on, we took some pitches and tried to make him have som... DEWEY KALMER I was a little upset when he was that close during the early part. But on this turf course, it doesn... BOBBY FRANKEL He doesn't panic. He took control [at safety] in the early minutes of the first day we tried him the... AL GROH Perhaps a physicist would know at once why this whole idea was absurd. But then, perhaps a physicist... ORSON SCOTT CARD I thought he was ready (for varsity football) the first day I saw him. He's very intelligent and he ... DREW YOUNG Because he was a first-round selection, the spotlight seems to shine a little brighter on him. But M... JACK ZDURIENCIK I can name about 10 people who tried and didn't make it. Guys are always looking at the industry. Th... WILSON HOYLE I've been enjoying 'Life on the Mississippi' by Mark Twain that I picked up at the airpo... ROMAN COPPOLA It is the mark of a great man that he puts to flight all ordinary calculations. He is at once sublim... HONORE DE BALZAC The object was to get to (Allen) early and he kind of got rattled a little bit. JAMES COTTON It's kind of crazy I did it on this day. That's the day he died. When I saw the date coming -- each ... JAWAN CARTER Tami had it going tonight. It was one of those nights where we wanted her to carry us a little bit. ... JEFF PUSTINA It was a real physical game. I drew a couple of fouls on him early and (the referees) may have swall... KEVIN KYLE I grew up reading Shakespeare and Mark Twain. JACKSON BROWNE A lot of it had to do with that fourth at-bat (Sunday) when he got a walk, ... He saw quite a few pi... DAVE CLARK I tend to go to bed really early on New Year's Eve. Then I wake up early, drive up while it'... CHARLIE HUNNAM The horse did everything I expect of him. He just needed a chance. He got it, and he took it. LOUIS WILLIAMS I think in time, once the production catches up with demand, that this won't be a problem anymore, JEFF BERG I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Empathy is the new measurement of everything. It doesn't matter what religion you have, what God you... C. JOYBELL C. He has a tendency to get into foul trouble. That is why we bring him in from the bench. As you saw, ... GARY DURBON I really think the homer changed Roy. We had the momentum early and gave it back. But when Mike hit ... PHIL GARNER You always need to get an early goal. We came here pre-season, scored early on, and it ended up bein... SCOTT THOMSON I was a little embarrassed but got right back up and tried again and landed this time. I guess maybe... DEIDRA DIONNE Danny is as fast as Nick Knight. Once his skill catches up with that -- probably by midseason at the... DEREK MAZEITIS It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the
bread of sorrows: for so he giveth... BIBLE It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth h... BIBLE To stand on the brink of what is coming, feeling eager, optimistic anticipation—with no feeli... ASK AND IT IS GIVEN Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test. KINKY FRIEDMAN Wake early, take more! JULIE ELISE LANDRY We were very flat [in Game Two]. We got behind early and we couldn't catch up. The fighting spirit w... DEB SMITH The reason Martin studied Japanese is because orchestra members teased him that he was illiterate in... CARRIE SMITH The fractions were tough enough early on and I wasn't too worried. When I pulled (Classic Photo), he... ANDY MILLER In my early teens, I was a janitor. In high school, I got up early to deliver to accounts that requi... JOSEPH B. WIRTHLIN My dad grew up wrestling. He knew Ken Shamrock, and I didn't know who he was at the time. So, he... PAIGE VANZANT I saw 37 come up the field and hit a little post up the middle of the field. Unfortunately, when I g... DWAYNE SLAY Without him and his staff, it is a safe bet that this thing would not have occurred. Rick Perry dese... PIKE POWERS Unfortunately I wasn't up front at the start, but I was able to get around traffic early. I saw that... DAVI MILLSAPS I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. CHARLES LAMB
More Mark Twain
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. MARK TWAIN My books are like water; those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. MARK TWAIN It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure tha... MARK TWAIN The wit knows that his place is at the tail of a procession. MARK TWAIN India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India ... MARK TWAIN Ideally a book would have no order to it, and the reader would have to discover his own. MARK TWAIN I never let schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. MARK TWAIN Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. MARK TWAIN The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed rig... MARK TWAIN There is no distinctly American criminal class - except Congress. MARK TWAIN In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. MARK TWAIN Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here firs... MARK TWAIN But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one... MARK TWAIN The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it. MARK TWAIN The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. MARK TWAIN Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of ti... MARK TWAIN It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. MARK TWAIN The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evil. MARK TWAIN Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. MARK TWAIN Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. MARK TWAIN Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul. MARK TWAIN There are lies, damned lies and statistics. MARK TWAIN Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable. MARK TWAIN Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside... MARK TWAIN Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see. MARK TWAIN The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice. MARK TWAIN Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. MARK TWAIN I make it a rule never to smoke while I'm sleeping. MARK TWAIN The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause. MARK TWAIN All generalizations are false, including this one. MARK TWAIN 'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a ba... MARK TWAIN The secret of getting ahead is getting started. MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places. MARK TWAIN Denial ain't just a river in Egypt. MARK TWAIN If I owned half of that dog, I would shoot my half. MARK TWAIN What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed ... MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. B... MARK TWAIN When you have prayed for victory you have prayed for many unmentioned results which follow victorymu... MARK TWAIN The teacher reminded us that Romes liberties were not auctioned off in a day, but were bought slowly... MARK TWAIN By his father he is English, by his mother he is Americanto my mind the blend which makes the perfec... MARK TWAIN So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldnt find honest employment. MARK TWAIN The people of those foreign countries are very, very ignorant. They looked curiously at the costumes... MARK TWAIN We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in itand stop there; lest w... MARK TWAIN The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large mattertis the diff... MARK TWAIN Say the report is exaggerated. MARK TWAIN A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will ... MARK TWAIN To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature Congressman. MARK TWAIN I think I can say, and say with pride, that we have some legislatures that bring higher prices than ... MARK TWAIN A myriad of men are born; they labor and sweat and struggle; ...they squabble and scold and fight; t... MARK TWAIN Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the st... MARK TWAIN Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred mi... MARK TWAIN Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to... MARK TWAIN We never become really and genuinely our entire and honest selves until we are dead -- and not then ... MARK TWAIN Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry. MARK TWAIN All say, How hard it is that we have to die -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people... MARK TWAIN Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find... MARK TWAIN Write without pay until somebody offers to pay you. If nobody offers within three years, sawing wood... MARK TWAIN As to the adjective, when in doubt strike it out. MARK TWAIN I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshol... MARK TWAIN Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than... MARK TWAIN The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without burst... MARK TWAIN When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old. MARK TWAIN All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure. MARK TWAIN The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do wh... MARK TWAIN To cease smoking is the easiest thing I ever did. I ought to know because I've done it a thousand ... MARK TWAIN Never have a battle of wits with an unarmed person. MARK TWAIN It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal... MARK TWAIN Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired MARK TWAIN It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help. MARK TWAIN Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. MARK TWAIN Lord save us all from old age and broken health and a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting... MARK TWAIN To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do. MARK TWAIN Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. MARK TWAIN The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itse... MARK TWAIN Stars are good too. I wish I could get some to put in my hair. But I suppose I never can. You would ... MARK TWAIN There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. MARK TWAIN The trouble with the world is not that people know too little, but that they know so many things tha... MARK TWAIN Optimist: Day-dreamer more elegantly spelled MARK TWAIN Necessity is the mother of "taking chances" MARK TWAIN Distance lends enchantment to the view MARK TWAIN Be good and you will be lonesome. MARK TWAIN Chastity - you can carry it too far MARK TWAIN To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble. MARK TWAIN Most writers regard truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are most economical in it... MARK TWAIN Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't. MARK TWAIN When you cannot get a compliment in any other way pay yourself one. MARK TWAIN There is nothing you can say in answer to a compliment. I have been complimented myself a great many... MARK TWAIN Never learn to do anything. If you don't learn, you will always find someone else to do it for you. MARK TWAIN I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and lookin... MARK TWAIN Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would... MARK TWAIN Wit is the sudden marriage of ideas which, before their union, were not perceived to have any relati... MARK TWAIN Wit and Humor -- if any difference, it is in duration -- lightning and electric light. Same material... MARK TWAIN Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of Humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no... MARK TWAIN There is a great deal of human nature in people. MARK TWAIN If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance. MARK TWAIN There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce. MARK TWAIN The human race was always interesting and we know by its past that it will always continue so, monot... MARK TWAIN Man is a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. MARK TWAIN Such is the human race. Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat... MARK TWAIN It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts th... MARK TWAIN Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the least to recommend it. As an amusement,... MARK TWAIN Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of t... MARK TWAIN Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it. MARK TWAIN Man is the only creature who has a nasty mind. MARK TWAIN We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks, if we agree with him. MARK TWAIN O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover th... MARK TWAIN A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be lead by the nose. MARK TWAIN Happiness ain't a thing in itself --it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so,... MARK TWAIN There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one: keep from telling their happiness to... MARK TWAIN I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treas... MARK TWAIN Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The conviction of the rich... MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide i... MARK TWAIN Let us be grateful to Adam, our benefactor. He cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us... MARK TWAIN Intellectual work is misnamed; it is a pleasure, a dissipation, and is its own highest reward. MARK TWAIN Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions. MARK TWAIN I do not like work even when someone else does it. MARK TWAIN Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and play consists of whatever a body is not oblig... MARK TWAIN Often the surest way to convey misinformation is to tell the strict truth. MARK TWAIN Truth is neither alive nor dead; it just aggravates itself all the time. MARK TWAIN No real gentleman will tell the naked truth in the presence of ladies. MARK TWAIN We had the sky up there, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss whether th... MARK TWAIN Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True ... MARK TWAIN When you ascend the hill of prosperity, may you not meet a friend. MARK TWAIN Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know. MARK TWAIN Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. MARK TWAIN We need not worry so much about what man descends from; it's what he descends to that shames the hum... MARK TWAIN There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. MARK TWAIN I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- except he... MARK TWAIN There was never a century nor a country that was short of experts who knew the Deity's mind and were... MARK TWAIN People are much more willing to lend you books than bookcases. MARK TWAIN My books are water; those of the great geniuses are wine -- everybody drinks water. MARK TWAIN A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table ... MARK TWAIN When the doctrine of allegiance to party can utterly up-end a man's moral constitution and make a te... MARK TWAIN In statesmanship get the formalities right, never mind about the moralities. MARK TWAIN Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. MARK TWAIN The lack of money is the root of all evils. MARK TWAIN His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine. MARK TWAIN Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures... MARK TWAIN All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. ... MARK TWAIN Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run. Traini... MARK TWAIN We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only m... MARK TWAIN There are many scapegoats for our sins, but the most popular is providence. MARK TWAIN It is by the goodness of God that we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech... MARK TWAIN There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. MARK TWAIN War talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has no... MARK TWAIN There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhe... MARK TWAIN To arrive at a just estimate of a renowned man's character one must judge it by the standards of his... MARK TWAIN One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. MARK TWAIN A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught. MARK TWAIN A lie can run around the world six times while the truth is still trying to put on its pants. MARK TWAIN I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, b... MARK TWAIN The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all. MARK TWAIN A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversati... MARK TWAIN Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expe... MARK TWAIN Satan hasn't a single salaried helper; the Opposition employ a million. MARK TWAIN It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare. MARK TWAIN Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear--not absence of fear. Except a creature be part cowar... MARK TWAIN Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself MARK TWAIN When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man aro... MARK TWAIN Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN It was the schoolboy who said, Faith is believing what you know ain't so. MARK TWAIN Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. MARK TWAIN There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it ... MARK TWAIN I've never let my school interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN In a good bookroom you feel in some mysterious way that you are absorbing the wisdom contained in al... MARK TWAIN Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect). MARK TWAIN If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal di... MARK TWAIN A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going... MARK TWAIN Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiment... MARK TWAIN Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the ca... MARK TWAIN If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the r... MARK TWAIN The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a... MARK TWAIN Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its... MARK TWAIN The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. MARK TWAIN Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the reall... MARK TWAIN If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed. MARK TWAIN ′Classic′ - a book which people praise and don't read. MARK TWAIN Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination. MARK TWAIN I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. MARK TWAIN The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read. MARK TWAIN Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Trut... MARK TWAIN Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it. MARK TWAIN A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. MARK TWAIN All right, then, I'll go to hell. MARK TWAIN The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven not man's. MARK TWAIN Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. MARK TWAIN If Christ were here there is one thing he would not be—a Christian. MARK TWAIN To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with. MARK TWAIN Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it ... MARK TWAIN Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody. MARK TWAIN Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty. MARK TWAIN Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. MARK TWAIN I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know. MARK TWAIN