No matter what Sarah Palin and these geniuses she surrounds herself with try to tell you, climate ch...
JIMMY KIMMEL I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.
JIMMY KIMMEL I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email an...
JIMMY KIMMEL I definitely feel pressure to keep slim. I don't want to be the guy who lost weight and gained i...
JIMMY KIMMEL On Monday and Thursday, I eat fewer than 500 calories a day; then I eat like a pig for the other fiv...
JIMMY KIMMEL You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.
JIMMY KIMMEL I don't eat two days a week. And people are fascinated by it, but it works. If you cut two days ...
JIMMY KIMMEL The Republican National Convention is a great place to hear people talk about politics and values an...
JIMMY KIMMEL That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I d...
JIMMY KIMMEL If you want to do a talk show on network television, you're probably going to wind up having a d...
JIMMY KIMMEL Almost half our representatives in Washington apparently know more about science than our scientists...
JIMMY KIMMEL My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people's definitions are.
JIMMY KIMMEL On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime.
JIMMY KIMMEL It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every d...
JIMMY KIMMEL I started doing a half-hour Sunday night talk show on college radio station KUNV. That excited me mo...
JIMMY KIMMEL What would be cool is if you avenged a rapper,
JIMMY KIMMEL There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch ...
JIMMY KIMMEL At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have...
JIMMY KIMMEL I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I ...
JIMMY KIMMEL The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's n...
JIMMY KIMMEL If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scr...
JIMMY KIMMEL I like a real beach. A crowded one, you know? People, towels, umbrellas. I hate those little private...
JIMMY KIMMEL I'm always looking to the next thing. There are always hurdles, whether it's the White House...
JIMMY KIMMEL I'm feeling fine. I have my medication, and my energy's good. I only get unusual ailments.
JIMMY KIMMEL When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really ...
JIMMY KIMMEL I go to Costco every weekend. It's my favorite part of the week.
JIMMY KIMMEL Producer Michael Davies - who did 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' - offered me a TV show, bu...
JIMMY KIMMEL There's no debate about the greenhouse effect, just like there's no debate about gravity. If...
JIMMY KIMMEL There is no way, if I was running ABC, I would have kept me on the air.
JIMMY KIMMEL You think women's liberation and feminism entitles you to be sexual? Sure! Fine! But you still have ...
MICHAEL KIMMEL Ryan Newman has already told me he's going to knock the crap out of me on the track.
FRANK KIMMEL I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with...
HAVEN KIMMEL It's just amazing we're able to continue like that.
FRANK KIMMEL I'm pretty much a realist, but we are going to give it our best. I never thought I'd be here. We're ...
FRANK KIMMEL The most important thing that we did this year was just be really, really consistent, ... We had a g...
FRANK KIMMEL I never thought that we would ever be able to win one championship much less seven, ... (Katona) was...
FRANK KIMMEL He was a grizzly, old veteran, just a real hard-nosed racer, ... He would run all day long, and then...
FRANK KIMMEL We were really comfortable with the car until that incident, ... We're ready to celebrate at Tallade...
FRANK KIMMEL I think the track is the prefect size and shape for our cars and the fans are going to see a great s...
FRANK KIMMEL It's hard to believe we won that race. The car was good in the end, but it took us all day to get th...
FRANK KIMMEL It's nice to be respected. As long as you're the man to beat, that's important.
FRANK KIMMEL Single parents - both women and men - can play as critical a role as the traditional two-parent fami...
MICHAEL S. KIMMEL To be white, or straight, or male, or middle class is to be simultaneously ubiquitious and invisible...
MICHAEL S. KIMMEL Take a little thought experiment. Imagine all the rampage school shooters in Littleton, Colorado; Pe...
MICHAEL S. KIMMEL Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvelous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top.
JIMMY DEAN We must adjust to changing times and still hold to unchanging principles.
JIMMY CARTER I believe every guitar player inherently has something unique about their playing. They just have to...
JIMMY PAGE Poverty was the greatest motivating factor in my life.
JIMMY DEAN Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down.
JIMMY DURANTE A fundamentalist can't bring himself or herself to negotiate with people who disagree with them ...
JIMMY CARTER I have a lot of stories to tell because I've been down a lot of roads people haven't been.
JIMMY WALKER To deal with individual human needs at the everyday level can be noble sometimes.
JIMMY CARTER There are no right and wrong ways to work in this business, but there are some basic common-sense pr...
JIMMY SMITS Those of Manhattan are the brokers on Wall Street and they talk of people who went to the same colle...
JIMMY BRESLIN Over four or five years, I did six albums with three people: John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, and Pat...
JIMMY IOVINE Bruce Springsteen gave people faith in rock & roll and in themselves again.
JIMMY IOVINE My life changed because Bruce Springsteen got on a mic in front of me.
JIMMY IOVINE Donald Trump handles these nitwit reporters with a new and most disgraceful form of bribery.
JIMMY BRESLIN I was brought up in the Boys' Brigade and grew up not swearing. It's so lovely to behave dec...
JIMMY HILL The music business used to carry a certain amount of brotherly love, but it isn't that way now.
JIMMY RUSHING I was a hard-workin' little boy. Oh, I worked. Pullin' cotton, shockin' grain, cuttin...
JIMMY DEAN My favorite song? 'Amazing Grace.' Anybody singing it. But the best it'll ever be done i...
JIMMY DEAN You know you're getting old when you go to more funerals than you do weddings.
JIMMY DEAN I've seen so many people in this business that made a fortune. They get old and broke and can...
JIMMY DEAN I used to help my granddaddy make sausage. He would mix it up in a cleaned-out washtub with his hand...
JIMMY DEAN I made more money yesterday than I ever thought I'd make in an entire lifetime. But it's lik...
JIMMY DEAN A lot of things I am, and a lot of things I am not. But I think I'm about as good an American as...
JIMMY DEAN When I was a kid, I used to think, 'Man, if I could ever afford all the ice cream I want to eat,...
JIMMY DEAN I think the kids in school that laughed at the clothes that we wore and the house that we lived in, ...
JIMMY DEAN I went further on less talent than anyone, but I was a damned good entertainer.
JIMMY DEAN Do what you say you're going to do. And try to do it a little better than you said you would.
JIMMY DEAN Sausage is a great deal like life. You get out of it about what you put into it.
JIMMY DEAN Becoming a parent has changed the risk calculus for me. But it might be age, too, and seeing a lot o...
JIMMY CHIN People say, 'Are you insane?' But the most successful climbers are the most calculating, wit...
JIMMY CHIN I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.
JIMMY FALLON My first guitar was like a campfire guitar. And it was left at a house that my family had moved into...
JIMMY PAGE Just give me a good role that allows me to hone my craft, and I am a pretty happy camper.
JIMMY SMITS I think it's prima facie evidence for the existence of God because for me to grow up and actuall...
JIMMY WEBB I busted out of the place in a hurry and went to a saloon and drank beer and said that for the rest ...
JIMMY BRESLIN I feel great. I had a triple bypass in 1976 and a quadruple bypass in 1984.
JIMMY PIERSALL After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the ...
JIMMY CARR Unfortunately, after Sept. 11, there was an outburst in America of intense suffering and patriotism,...
JIMMY CARTER Politics, where fat, bald, disagreeable men, unable to be candidates themselves, teach a president h...
JIMMY BRESLIN I'm gonna be blunt and plain, if one ever looks at me like that I'm gonna kill him and tell ...
JIMMY SWAGGART A rat race is for rats. We're not rats. We're human beings. Reject the insidious pressures i...
JIMMY REID Parliamentarian rules, the rules of the House, how you get bills referred, really the nuts and bolts...
JIMMY GOMEZ For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now?.
JIMMY DEAN I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
JIMMY DEAN There was promulgation of false propaganda by the administration about the existence of weapons of m...
JIMMY CARTER A rabid sports fan is one that boos a TV set.
JIMMY CANNON 'Boogie Chillen',' by John Lee Hooker - that is a riff.
JIMMY PAGE Isolation doesn't bother me at all. It gives me a sense of security.
JIMMY PAGE When I was still in the Yardbirds, our producer, Mickie Most, would always try to get us to record a...
JIMMY PAGE If you see a blatant error or misconception about yourself, you really want to set it straight.
JIMMY WALES I don't want to tell President Obama how to make a speech. He's a much better speech maker t...
JIMMY CARTER The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
JIMMY JOHNSON Never treat your audience as customers, always as partners.
JIMMY STEWART We should live our lives as though Christ was coming this afternoon.
JIMMY CARTER A strong nation, like a strong person, can afford to be gentle, firm, thoughtful, and restrained. It...
JIMMY CARTER My vocation is more in composition really than anything else -- building up harmonies using the guit...
JIMMY PAGE I may have faults, but being wrong ain't one of them.
JIMMY HOFFA The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy that nobody knows wh...
JIMMY BRESLIN Older and wiser voices can always help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.
JIMMY BUFFETT Some people never find it, some only pretend, but I just want to live happily ever after every now a...
JIMMY BUFFETT We should live our lives as though Christ were coming this afternoon.
JIMMY CARTER Our decision about energy will test the character of the American people and the ability of the Pres...
JIMMY CARTER According to Gandhi, the seven sins are wealth without works, pleasure without conscience, knowledge...
JIMMY CARTER I thought a lot about our Nation and what I should do as President. And Sunday night before last, I ...
JIMMY CARTER Well, as you know, there are many things in life that are not fair, that wealthy people can afford a...
JIMMY CARTER All political power is primarily an illusion. Illusion. Mirrors and blue smoke, beautiful blue smoke...
JIMMY BRESLIN Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for news...
JIMMY BRESLIN I can't change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
JIMMY DEAN You can do what you have to do, and sometimes you can do it even better than you think you can.
JIMMY CARTER New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there. Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make y...
JIMMY CONNORS But why should I read what somebody else thinks of my life when I know the real story?
JIMMY CONNORS I hate to lose more than I love to win.
JIMMY CONNORS People say I'm around because I have a lot of heart, but I know all the heart in the world couldn't ...
JIMMY CONNORS Tennis was never work for me, tennis was fun. And the tougher the battle and the longer the match, t...
JIMMY CONNORS If someone wants a piece of you, never let them pay. What you do not give to them time takes anyway.
JIMMY BUFFETT Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down.
JIMMY DURANTE I've looked on a lot of women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times.
JIMMY CARTER I'd rather die while I'm living then live while I'm dead.
JIMMY BUFFETT Never did I think that I became family entertainment.
JIMMY BUFFETT Experience is a great advantage. The problem is that when you get the experience, you're too damned ...
JIMMY CONNORS America did not invent human rights. In a very real sense... human rights invented America.
JIMMY CARTER If we weren't all crazy, we would go insane.
JIMMY BUFFETT Everyone who has run knows that its most important value is in removing tension and allowing a relea...
JIMMY CARTER The office of president is a bastardized thing, half royalty and half democracy, that nobody knows w...
JIMMY BRESLIN Media, the plural of mediocrity.
JIMMY BRESLIN The only reason this country is different from any place else is that once in a great while, this hu...
JIMMY BRESLIN We've uncovered some embarrassing ancestors in the not-too-distant past. Some horse thieves, and som...
JIMMY CARTER When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking i...
JIMMY BRESLIN We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different y...
JIMMY CARTER If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
JIMMY BUFFETT Use it or lose it.
JIMMY CONNORS If I had my career over again? Maybe I'd say to myself, speed it up a little.
JIMMY STEWART Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets.
JIMMY BRESLIN Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?
JIMMY JOHNSON We are the people our parents warned us about.
JIMMY BUFFETT Surviving and thriving as a professional today demands two new approaches to the written word. First...
JIMMY CALANO Rather than viewing a brief relapse back to inactivity as a failure, treat it as a challenge and try...
JIMMY CONNORS This nation has dehumanized its adversaries calling them Huns, wops, gooks, Japs.
JIMMY CARTER I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God knows I wil...
JIMMY CARTER If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human ...
JIMMY CARTER Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime
JIMMY CANNON I hate music, especially when it's played.
JIMMY DURANTE Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.
JIMMY DEMARET Most people assume the fights are going to be the left versus the right, but it always is the reason...
JIMMY WALES Unless both sides win, no agreement can be permanent.
JIMMY CARTER You gotta try your luck at least once a day, because you could be going around lucky all day and not...
JIMMY DEAN Globalization, as defined by rich people like us, is a very nice thing... you are talking about the ...
JIMMY CARTER Led Zeppelin was an affair of the heart. Each of the members was important to the sum total of what ...
JIMMY PAGE I don't appreciate a preacher who commits adultery and then goes out and blames me.
JIMMY SWAGGART I've looked on many women with lust. I've committed adultery in my heart many times. God kno...
JIMMY CARTER I believe there is complete equality between men and women. And I believe those passages in the New ...
JIMMY CARTER Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader...
JIMMY FALLON We tend to think of World War II and all the atrocities that happened, and people say, 'Never ag...
JIMMY SMITS The instruments that bleed into each other are what creates the ambience. Once you start cleaning ev...
JIMMY PAGE Let me explain something about guitar playing. Everyone's got their own character, and that'...
JIMMY PAGE When I was president, I announced and I still maintain that I can live with Roe v. Wade. I did every...
JIMMY CARTER I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obam...
JIMMY CARTER I don't think it's any coincidence that I lost my religious faith and 'manned up' in...
JIMMY CARR There's a common perception among college administrators that they should conceal the high level...
JIMMY CARTER I am a nuclear physicist by training and a deeply committed Christian. I don't have any doubt in...
JIMMY CARTER It was one of my dreams as a child, growing up in my little village with my cousins. We used to walk...
JIMMY CLIFF Older and wiser voices can help you find the right path, if you are only willing to listen.
JIMMY BUFFETT I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at ...
JIMMY FALLON You learn over years of expeditions that having faith, and putting one foot in front of the other, y...
JIMMY CHIN 'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wron...
JIMMY FALLON Nobody, man or woman, has ever wrecked a good marriage.
JIMMY DEAN The thing I like about astronomy is being outside at night and seeing the stars in a dark sky. It ma...
JIMMY WALKER Dictators can fix up their entire families in good jobs, in or around government, and often do. In d...
JIMMY REID Thank you, hard taco shells, for surviving the long journey from factory, to supermarket, to my plat...
JIMMY FALLON You do wonder - when you are at 28,000 feet, the height that aeroplanes cruise at, when you are stru...
JIMMY CHIN I am always concerned with finding the right spot and the right shot, so sometimes I forget to appre...
JIMMY CHIN I lose anywhere up to 20 pounds on location with adventurers like Conrad Anker or Brady Robinson. So...
JIMMY CHIN Thank you, yard sales, for being the perfect way to say to your neighbors: 'We think we're i...
JIMMY FALLON Researches tested a new form of medical marijuana that treats pain but doesn't get the user high...
JIMMY FALLON Thank you... fat dude with giant headphones on the subway, for looking like what would've happen...
JIMMY FALLON Thank you, people who say 'Wow, you're really photogenic,' for not saying what you reall...
JIMMY FALLON There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks you...
JIMMY FALLON I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smarte...
JIMMY FALLON You only think of the best comeback when you leave.
JIMMY FALLON I wanted to be the next Dana Carvey. This was my ultimate goal. If I ever cut into a birthday cake a...
JIMMY FALLON I don't even read the papers. I read 'USA Today' because it has color photos.
JIMMY FALLON I like to see people laugh who are normally serious.
JIMMY FALLON In New York, there are so many potholes, they're like craters on the moon. That's another tr...
JIMMY FALLON I don't like to kick people when they're down. I like to kick people when they're up.
JIMMY FALLON If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of ...
JIMMY FALLON Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm...
JIMMY FALLON I like video games, I like tech, I like being positive.
JIMMY FALLON Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way...
JIMMY FALLON I'm going to North Pole to help out Santa this year.
JIMMY FALLON L.A., it's nice, but I think of sunshine and people on rollerblades eating sushi. New York, I th...
JIMMY FALLON Researches at Yale found a connection between brain cancer and work environment. The No. 1 most dang...
JIMMY FALLON Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.
JIMMY FALLON The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere.
JIMMY FALLON Everyone looks so much better when they smile.
JIMMY FALLON I didn't have any sophistication. I didn't really have any great taste or anything like that...
JIMMY IOVINE I truly believe the intention of creating positive change is so important to the collective consciou...
JIMMY CHIN