Quote: You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven okay?

Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.

A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.

I'm like Bush, I see the world more like checkers than chess.