FastSaying

QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another --usually about as many times as it can be got there.


Ambrose Bierce

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The bottom line is, what defines you isn't how many times you crash, but the number of times you get...
SARAH DESSEN How many times can a heart be shattered and still be pieced back together? How many times before the...
GWENN WRIGHT There should be three times as many,
BILL SIMON How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?
Yes, 'n' how many ears must o...
BOB DYLAN How many times can a heart be broken before it is beyond mend?
TARRYN FISHER I'm not real pleased as many times as we had it down there and shot ourselves in the foot a few time...
LEE JOHNSON What defines you isn't how many times you crash but the number of times you get back.
SARAH DESSEN Despite how many times one person breaks our hearts, we still can't stop thinking about them
FAARIS NAZ How many times have I failed before? How many times have I stood here like this, in front of my own ...
CHARLES YU There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY It all counts,' Adam said again. 'And the bottom line is, what defines you isn't how many times you ...
SARAH DESSEN There needs to be four times as many track inspectors.
BOB CROW How many times can one have a heart attack within a week?
PAWAN MISHRA I am often asked how it is that I am able to value people to such a deep degree. Apparently, I exhib...
C. JOYBELL C. In any finite region of space, matter can only arrange itself in a finite number of configurations, ...
BRIAN GREENE I don't care about how many times somebody recognizes my face.
SUGE KNIGHT It doesn’t matter how many times I have to click, as long as each click is a mindless, unambiguous...
STEVE KRUG It's usually not about the money. There are times in the economic cycle when people like to say they...
DIANNE SAATCHI No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT Politics: Poly.
MANY This is too much reality for a Friday.
AS GOOD AS IT GETS I've heard, 'May the Force be with you' about as many times as, 'Hey, how you doing?...
FREDDIE PRINZE, JR. And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY As I said many times, the fashion world, its system, can be disturbing.
AZZEDINE ALAIA You can tell how poor someone feels by the number of times he references “money” in his conversa...
NASSIM NICHOLAS TALEB How many times can a heart break before it never mends again?
CRISTABEL MICHAELS Nothing is ever as good or as bad as it appears to be.
JEFFREY FRY Alaina kept us in the game so many times. She, as a freshman, is showing such great maturity and dec...
EMILY COLE It's one job I wouldn't want. How many times did a person get killed before they figured that out?
CHIP PATTERSON I did not know that history is like a blood stain that keeps on showing on the wall no matter how ma...
PETER CAREY Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, b...
WINSTON CHURCHILL How many times can a heart be broken before it is beyond mend? How many times can I wish to not be a...
TARRYN FISHER How many of us suffered to death?
How many of them gained more wealth?

How many of u...
RIXA WHITE A sum of money is a leading character in this tale about people, just as a sum of honey might proper...
KURT VONNEGUT Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we h...
FRANCOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD Almost everybody gets in. It's just a matter of how many times it takes.
DOUGLAS MASSEY Whatever the number of a man's friends, there will be times in his life when he has one too few; bu...
EDWARD GEORGE EARLE LYTTON BULWER-LYTTON, FIRST BARON LYTTON Whatever the number of a man's friends, there will be times in his life when he has one too few, but...
EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON So many of these students are experiencing a tremendous amount of trauma, ... Many times when there'...
JANIE FOUKE In times of stress and danger such as come about as the result of an epidemic, many tragic and cruel...
WILLIAM CRAWFORD GORGAS It happened in pieces, tiny little turning points. I'll never figure out when it all turned, because...
AMANDA GRACE Asian countries produce eight times as many engineering bachelors as the United States, and the numb...
MARK KENNEDY Only fools wait, and only tools bait.
CRE There are approximately two trillion cells in the human body. You are never alone, there are always ...
DWIGHT W. HAYES It doesn't matter how many times you have failed,what matters most is how many times you stood up to...
GUNDO MULAUDZI Usually, they raise fares several times a year, but it's been 18 months since the last hike. This ma...
TOM PARSONS The true measure of success is how many times you can bounce back from failure.
STEPHEN RICHARDS How many times? Too many to count.
ROSALIE HERNANDEZ I got told so many times I needed a manager. For a long time I resisted, and I finally got one so I ...
CAT POWER There is a sense that business is a zero-sum game, that if companies are making a lot of money, it m...
MICHAEL HAMMER The value of life can be measured by how many times your soul has been deeply stirred.
SOICHIRO HONDA There is not many but only one beautiful story told many times in many ways, which begins with a jou...
YAMIN RASHEED There is something utterly nauseating about a system of society which pays a harlot 25 times as much...
HAROLD WILSON Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous. In war you can only be killed once, ...
SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL Racism is always there underneath, but usually it is exploited in these times of economic crisis, an...
IRIS CHANG I believe that you can fall in love many times with many different people. However, I don't think th...
JODI PICOULT The splendid thing
about falling apart
silently...
is that
you can start over SANOBER KHAN The number of staff being displaced is many times the 200 we were told would be the case during nego...
BOB CROW It was a heck of an honor to be there as much as we were. How many guys can say they played in three...
DAVE OSBORN Plunging in “truths” about God is like walking on the bottom of a sea that is not there, searchi...
MARIANA FULGER Many times a day I realize how much my own life is built on the labors of my fellowmen, and how earn...
ALBERT EINSTEIN Many times a day I realize how much my own life is built upon the labors of my fellowmen, and how ea...
ALBERT EINSTEIN I am my own sanctuary and I can be reborn as many times as I choose throughout my life.
LADY GAGA i've been played ; not once , not twice , but many times before , and honey your just another monopo...
AMANDA YOUNG Racism is always there underneath, but usually it is exploited in these times of economic crisis, an...
IRIS CHANG We work with the county as many times as we can. But we know our limitations.
KATHY LAWSON We had a dramatic number of applications for the first one. We are trying to fund as many of these p...
EDDIE BUMBAUGH Raymond has got to be remembered as one of the best executives in many, many years -- one of the bes...
CRAIG HODGES Bill has stated many times Penn Hills has been good to him. He made most of his money in the communi...
FRANK PECORA The money most people call ordinary is what can make our millions if accumulated many times.
DAVID ATTA (A.K.A DAVIED ATTLARS & MR DAIN) There are just so many things. You don't realize how many times and places your name is out there.
ANGI FANGMAN Death is always on the way, but the fact that you don't know when it will arrive seems to take away ...
PAUL BOWLES Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we h...
FRANçOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD Why can we remember the tiniest detail that has happened to us, and not remember how many times we h...
FRANçOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD A person of value have skill, a vision & a deep desire to achieve what they dream for. Happiness com...
DR ANIL KUMAR SINHA One nice thing about heaven is that you can relive all your favorite moments and memories pretty muc...
JESS ROTHENBERG I am not judged by the number of times I fail, but by the number of times I succeed; and the number ...
TOM HOPKINS There are as many pillows of illusion as flakes in a snow-storm. We wake from one dream into another...
RALPH WALDO EMERSON We surveyed about three times as many organizations and focused more on new technologies, where atta...
BRUCE VERDUYN So many thoughts ran through my head. Most of them contained the same, simply three words so often s...
ALYSHA SPEER These are just the challenges that we've heard of, ... It's estimated that there are probably four t...
MICHAEL GORMAN It will kill four times as many Americans as AIDS will over the next decade. I feel that what ever k...
NAOMI JUDD I'm a nice guy, but not all the time. There are these personalities in me, so many of them. They...
EL DEBARGE India I have visited a great many times, though there is a lot about it I will never understand.
DAMON GALGUT If America had been discovered as many times as I have, no one would remember Columbus.
SEAN CONNERY A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person
MIGNON MCLAUGHLIN As we've seen many times in the past, the industry's first response is to try to kill a good idea.
RICHARD KASSEL In Cloud computing the difference between a dark cloud and a cloud with a silver lining, is the part...
RAJAT MOHAN I had an amazing feeling when I finally held the tape in my hand. I just thought to myself that in t...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY In Biblical times, a man could have as many wives as he could afford. Just like today.
ABIGAIL VAN BUREN When you see how many times we rushed consecutively, that says a lot about our kids will, and they w...
ANDREW CONNOR It is an economic analysis, but the problem is that there's also an ego factor at many airlines. Tha...
STUART KLASKIN You know all that money we spend on the military ever year -- trillions of dollars? Instead, if we u...
BILL HICKS There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state ...
ALEXANDRE DUMAS Even as a tree has a single trunk, but many branches and leaves, there is one religion but any numbe...
MAHATMA GANDHI Voters can now check how many times Bush resorts to canned remarks,
JOE ANDREW We expect the galaxy to harbor roughly 400,000 of these objects. This is four times as many as conve...
MAURA MCLAUGHLIN You have no idea how many times a day I think about invading your body.
COLLEEN HOOVER A lot of teenagers write to me and say "I want to write a book. I want to get published." And those ...
MAUREEN JOHNSON

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
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AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE