Psychiatry is a waste of good couches. Why should I make a psychiatrist laugh, and then pay him?

Love is like a tide. When it's in, everything looks beautiful and inviting. Only when love recedes can you see the debris beneath the surface - the old bottles, the rusty prams, the sewage pipes, the bloated cats and dogs weighted down to drown. The man I had once loved so passionately I now saw as weak, gutted like a fish.

They don't fear it at all, they see it as a liberation. And when they divorce, of course, they get every second weekend off, the father is more guilt-ridden and tries to do more with his children, becomes a better father often.

After Puberty Blues , I ran away. It was so daunting to go from overnight nonentity to major celebrity and I was only 18 or something. It was so controversial my dad didn't speak to me for about four or five years. Mum sort of did, but she was the local headmistress so it was very uncomfortable for them, terrible.

When you've been around as long as me, Lucy, you'll know that there are three types of sex... One - brand-new, kitchen-table sex. Two - bedroom sex. Then number three - hallway sex, when you pass each other in the hallway and say 'Fuck you.'" - Lockie

People who say that money can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.