Michael Caine quote: "Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell."

Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.
MICHAEL CAINE

Growing up, there was only classical music on BBC Radio. We had to listen to the American Forces Net...
MICHAEL CAINE

The three actors I admire the most are all dead. Humphrey Bogart, Spencer Tracy and the French actor...
MICHAEL CAINE

My problem was that I was blond. There were no heroes with blond hair. Robert Taylor and Henry Fonda...
MICHAEL CAINE

For all my education, accomplishments, and so called 'wisdom'… I can't fathom my own heart.
MICHAEL CAINE

I admired Marlon Brando as I grew up. I though he was one of the finest screen actors around.
MICHAEL CAINE

First of all, I choose the great roles, and if none of these come, I choose the mediocre ones, and i...
MICHAEL CAINE

The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly -...
MICHAEL CAINE

Alfie was the first time I was above the title; the first time I became a star in America.
MICHAEL CAINE

If someone is very upper-class, you have a stereotype of him which is probably true. If someone has ...
MICHAEL CAINE

I won an Academy Award for 'The Cider House Rules,' playing an American.
MICHAEL CAINE

I'm every bourgeois nightmare - a Cockney with intelligence and a million dollars.
MICHAEL CAINE

Am I a car aficionado? No: for me, cars have always been just for transport. I didn't even know ...
MICHAEL CAINE

My closest friends are Roger Moore, who is an actor, Sean Connery, who is an actor, Terry O'Neil...
MICHAEL CAINE

My view of actors is that basically they're all harmless lunatics who'd be on the psychiatri...
MICHAEL CAINE

The greatest luxury is not driving. I didn't own a car until I was 30, and that was a Rolls-Royc...
MICHAEL CAINE

Books were my window on the world. Growing up at the Elephant and Castle, which was very rough, my p...
MICHAEL CAINE

The first thing I'll do if I want to look really crappy is, I don't wear any makeup at all.
MICHAEL CAINE

What a lot of people don't realize about gangs, in my opinion, is that a gang is not there to at...
MICHAEL CAINE

I was born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite. Imagine signing that autograph! You'd get a broken arm. S...
MICHAEL CAINE

I come from the slums; I come from a hard background; I come from a poor family; and I was a soldier...
MICHAEL CAINE

In the sixties, everyone you knew became famous. My flatmate was Terence Stamp. My barber was Vidal ...
MICHAEL CAINE

There's quite a lot of bad stuff written about me. My wife even says a lot of bad stuff about me...
MICHAEL CAINE

I wouldn't make an anti-American film. I'm one of the most pro-American foreigners I know. I...
MICHAEL CAINE

I'm trying to work only with established, respected directors. I took a lot of bad scripts and w...
MICHAEL CAINE

I think what is British about me is my feelings and awareness of others and their situations. Englis...
MICHAEL CAINE

You can see all sorts of things in film acting if you know where to look and what to look for. One t...
MICHAEL CAINE

I started with the firm conviction that when I came to the end, I wanted to be regretting the things...
MICHAEL CAINE

I'm always slightly envious of people who become extremely rich without anyone knowing who the h...
MICHAEL CAINE

For all my education, accomplishments, and so called 'wisdom'... I can't fathom my own h...
MICHAEL CAINE

I prefer to remake flops. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels was a remake of a flop, and The Quiet American is ...
MICHAEL CAINE

My wife comes with me on all the movies, but she is not an appendage to a film star or anything like...
MICHAEL CAINE

A lot of my best parts I've been the second choice for, so you never get too egotistical about a...
MICHAEL CAINE

The best research for playing a drunk is being a British actor for 20 years.
MICHAEL CAINE

Film stars to me were always six feet four, had perfect teeth and could do handstands on Malibu Beac...
MICHAEL CAINE

Such is an actor's life. We must ride the waves of every film, barfing occasionally, yet maintain ou...
MICHAEL CAINE

My career is going better now than when I was younger. It used to be that I'd get the girl but not t...
MICHAEL CAINE

My name is Michael Caine - not a lot of people know that.
MICHAEL CAINE

The first actor I ever saw was The Lone Ranger. I thought, That's what I want to do.
MICHAEL CAINE

I used to get the girl; now I get the part. In 'The Quiet American' you may have noticed I g...
MICHAEL CAINE

Let me put it this way: If you're sitting in a movie and you're watching me, and you say, &#...
MICHAEL CAINE

To me, growing old is great. It's the very best thing - considering the alternative.
MICHAEL CAINE

I can't say I hate cats, but holy cow, dogs are a horse of another color.
MICHAEL CAINE

If you think you're going to be up for an Oscar, you schedule your moviemaking.
MICHAEL CAINE

A lot of movie stars are not great actors; they're just very good-looking. And when they start t...
MICHAEL CAINE

The difference between a movie star and a movie actor is this - a movie star will say, 'How can ...
MICHAEL CAINE

If you're a movie actor, you're on your own - you cannot control the stage. The director con...
MICHAEL CAINE

When you reach the top, that's when the climb begins.
MICHAEL CAINE

I started with the firm conviction that when I came to the end, I wanted to be regretting the things...
MICHAEL CAINE

I'll always be there because I'm a skilled professional actor. Whether or not I've any talent is bes...
MICHAEL CAINE

The basic rule of human nature is that powerful people speak slowly and subservient people quickly -...
MICHAEL CAINE

I was a repertory actor, which meant that I did a play every week. I was a different character every...
MICHAEL CAINE

To me, 'Educating Rita' is the most perfect performance I could give of a character who was ...
MICHAEL CAINE

I am often asked which of my films has come closest to my own ideal of performance, and I always ans...
MICHAEL CAINE

The standing ovation threw me... to be held in such regard in a town so full of talent is quite some...
MICHAEL CAINE

You cannot have one bathroom. And it don't matter how much you love your wife and everything, &#...
MICHAEL CAINE

I think life has got to develop as you get older, and I don't want to be wandering along doing t...
MICHAEL CAINE

At age 11, I went to a Jewish school. I speak Yiddish. I'm Church of England Protestant. My fath...
MICHAEL CAINE

I've always loved reprehensible people because they're so much more interesting to play on s...
MICHAEL CAINE

Oh, what a shock. My career must be slipping. This is the first time I've been available to pick...
MICHAEL CAINE

I just love to go home, no matter where I am, the most luxurious hotel suite in the world, I love to...
MICHAEL CAINE

...some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned...
MICHAEL CAINE

I have a very special relationship with Mike [Myers]. I'm a surrogate father.
MICHAEL CAINE

My most useful acting tip came from my pal John Wayne. Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too mu...
MICHAEL CAINE

Movie acting is about covering the machinery. Stage acting is about exposing the machinery. In cinem...
MICHAEL CAINE

I'm a frustrated stand-up comic. If you hand me a microphone and I get one laugh, then I'll ...
MICHAEL CAINE

When I look in the mirror, I see someone who's happy with how he looks, because I was never one ...
MICHAEL CAINE

When you reach the top, that's when the climb begins.
MICHAEL CAINE

Obsession is a young man's game, and my only excuse is that I never grew old.
MICHAEL CAINE

I felt a tremendous sadness for men who can't deal with a woman of their own age.
MICHAEL CAINE

Save your money. You're going to need twice as much money in your old age as you think.
MICHAEL CAINE

The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.
MICHAEL CAINE

Out of the depths, O Lord, out of the depths,' begins the most beautiful of the services of our ...
HALL CAINE

That cry of the soul to be lifted out of the bondage of the narrow circle of life, which carries up ...
HALL CAINE

Claire. Wake up.” She blinked and realized that her head was on Shane’s shoulder, and Michael wa...
RACHEL CAINE

Okay, this was kissing. Serious kissing. Not just a kiss before moving out, not a good-bye, this was...
RACHEL CAINE

Want to play baseball?’” she asked. Shane’s eyes opened, and he stopped stroking her hair. “...
RACHEL CAINE

Survival," I said softly. "It's selfish, and it's dark, and we've always been a species willing to d...
RACHEL CAINE

She came awake, stomach rumbling, and opened her eyes to see a plate being held right under her nose...
RACHEL CAINE

Shane looked…pale. Pale and shaken and—how predictable was this?—pissed.
RACHEL CAINE

But that quickly faded, and he frowned. "You're bleeding," he said. "What happened?"
Claire sig...
RACHEL CAINE

Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all ...
RACHEL CAINE

Perv."
He pointed to himself. "Male and eighteen. What's your point?
RACHEL CAINE

Now," said Brandons low, cold voice. "Lets not be rude eve.
RACHEL CAINE

See? My plans don’t all suck. Just most of them.
RACHEL CAINE

Dammit, Michael, get out of my room, you pervert!” Could you even be a pervert if you were dead? S...
RACHEL CAINE

OMG OMG OMG, Shane is totally crushing on the new roomie! I can’t believe it. I always pictured Sh...
RACHEL CAINE

You are not my high school crush, idiot.”
“Great. I can die happy, then.
RACHEL CAINE

It’s in Latin.”
“So? What does it say?”
“I don’t read Latin!”
“You’...
RACHEL CAINE

You’re kind of a psycho. I get that.”
“I might be,” Monica agreed, and gave her a slow,...
RACHEL CAINE

Oh, hey, Claire,” she said, and blinked. “Where are you going?”
“Funeral,” Shane said...
RACHEL CAINE

I’m not a kid!” she told Shane hotly. “I’m only, like, a year younger than Eve!”
“A...
RACHEL CAINE

Shane - who knows about Shane? Planet Shane is a lovely place a long way from here.
RACHEL CAINE

Is it him?” Dad asked. “Did he get you into trouble?”
“Not me,” Shane said. “I’ve...
RACHEL CAINE

Kid,” Richard said wearily, “I am not in the mood. I haven’t slept in thirty-six hours, my sis...
RACHEL CAINE

She wasn't absolutely sure who kissed whom this time. Maybe it was gravity tilting, stars exploding....
RACHEL CAINE

Michael!” Oliver’s voice came faint through the front door. “Something you should see, my boy!...
RACHEL CAINE

Bite me
RACHEL CAINE

Crosses?"
"Definitely"
"Why?"
"Because they're evil, soulless, bloodsucking fiends?"<...
RACHEL CAINE

Have I mentioned how hot Michael is? Hot, hot, hot. I mean, all guitar players are crushworthy - it'...
RACHEL CAINE

The second bathroom's downstairs - that's kind of the emergency backup bathroom when Shane's in ther...
RACHEL CAINE

There's a ghost in this house! An unquiet spirit!"
Unquiet spirit?" Shane said under his breath...
RACHEL CAINE

That's kind of a leap, but the Russian judge gave you a nine point five for style, so okay.
RACHEL CAINE

And if you dont come back from the dorm, I'm the one who has to explain to Micheal how I let you go ...
RACHEL CAINE

You know," Shane said twenty minutes later, "I'd feel a whole lot better about the two of us if you ...
RACHEL CAINE

You're kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn't that the international language for smart p...
RACHEL CAINE

You're still here. No beer. I'm not corrupting a minor."
"But you're a minor," she point...
RACHEL CAINE

Hell,' Shane spit in disgust. 'I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her.' He tossed her the bat...
RACHEL CAINE

Run first,' Shane said. 'Mourn later.'
It was the perfect motto for Morganville.
RACHEL CAINE

Scoot over, man. I don't like you that much."
"Dick. That's not what you said last night."
RACHEL CAINE

The successful man doesn't use others, other people use the successful man, for above all the succes...
MARK CAINE

You are beginning to see that any man to whom you can do favor is your friend, and that you can do a...
MARK CAINE

There are those who travel and those who are going somewhere. They are different and yet they are th...
MARK CAINE

To know the right means of getting something done is virtually to have done it.
MARK CAINE

Meticulous planning will enable everything a man does to appear spontaneous.
MARK CAINE

At all times it is better to have a method.
MARK CAINE

The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which y...
MARK CAINE

A barrier is of ideas, not of things.
MARK CAINE

There is nothing wrong in using people. The success never uses people except to their advantage.
MARK CAINE

There is nothing that puts a man more in your debt than that he owes you nothing.
MARK CAINE

That's it? That's your big goodbye?" Eve asked.
Claire looked at Eve mystified. "I think I need...
RACHEL CAINE

What are you going to do? Are you going to live in the dark, locked in here? Afraid to look out, ans...
RACHEL CAINE

Crap, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"I'm thinking we have about fifteen vampires a...
RACHEL CAINE

Happy birthday,” she said. “And next time? Eat the stupid cupcake.
RACHEL CAINE

Parents had some kind of sin radar, Claire thought. They always called when you were in the middle o...
RACHEL CAINE

My dad used to say that life's a journey, but somebody screwed up and lost the map.
RACHEL CAINE

If you ask me if I'm okay again, I'm going to smack myself in the face just to punish you.
RACHEL CAINE

Shane looked down at the staked vamp at his feet. 'Claire?'
'Yes?'
'You staked a vampire w...
RACHEL CAINE

No, not you two. Stay here.'
'Does he just not get how unfair and sexist that is?' Eve asked. '...
RACHEL CAINE

Another thing I don't want on my tombstone," Shane said.

You have others?" Claire asked.<...
RACHEL CAINE

You. O Positive. How many exits?"
"What?...Oh shit, did you just call me by my bloodtype?
RACHEL CAINE

Whatever, crazy chick who maybe lives here and maybe also breaks into Michael's house when they're a...
RACHEL CAINE

I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin or I'll have to kick his predatory ass." RACHEL CAINE

Promise me you’ll marry me. Not now. Someday. Because I need to know.”
Claire felt a flutte...
RACHEL CAINE

Can I come back and see you sometime?"
"Long as you bring me some chocolate," Gramma said, and ...
RACHEL CAINE

Better broke than dead.
RACHEL CAINE

Welcome to Morganville.You'll never want to leave.And even if you do...well, you can't. Sorry about ...
RACHEL CAINE

Jealous?"

"Maybe."

"No reason. I like my ladies with a pulse.
RACHEL CAINE

I'm gonna kill him," Eve said, or at least that was what it sounded like filtered through the pillow...
RACHEL CAINE

You cannot live on other people's promises, but if you promise others enough, you can live on your ...
MARK CAINE

Don't run I never liked fast food
RACHEL CAINE

Delighted," Jess said. "I think all houses should be stuffed with books. It makes them--"
"Home...
RACHEL CAINE

Widow" is a harsh and hurtful word. It comes from the Sanskrit and it means "empty." I have been em...
LYNN CAINE

After my husband died, I felt like one of those spiraled shells washed upon the beach . . . Poke a s...
LYNN CAINE

Oh, God, it's early," he groaned. "Hell. Well, at least I can grab the bathroom first."
Claire ...
RACHEL CAINE

You're kidding," Shane said. "Do you think I want to visit Crazy McTeeth in his lair of insanity?" RACHEL CAINE

I am never taking a trip with either of you ever again.' Eve said. 'Ever.'
Excellent' Shane sai...
RACHEL CAINE

The failure wishes he could do things he could never do. He thinks little of what he can do.
MARK CAINE

...will you be so kind as to provide me with a few places where I might look for a murderer?"
"...
RACHEL CAINE

Because you've got guy parts, you're automatically a better mechanic than me? I don't think s...
RACHEL CAINE

Me neither,” Shane put in. “Homie don’t play that.”
“I wonder, sometimes, if your gen...
RACHEL CAINE

I have no idea what that is, but yawn, anyway, just on principle. Eat up. Pancakes is brain food. RACHEL CAINE

I'll do it!"
"No, you won't," Shane and Michael said, at virtually the same time. Shane contin...
RACHEL CAINE

Our society is set up so that most women lose their identities when their husbands die.
LYNN CAINE

Since every death diminishes us a little, we grieve - not so much for the death as for ourselves
LYNN CAINE

Shane said, "Don't worry. I'll protect you."
Claire hit him in the shoulder. "I don't need you ...
RACHEL CAINE

Boys. I'd turn gay if they weren't so sexy.
RACHEL CAINE

Claire said. “I might be able to get him to stop.”
“Who, crazy dude? Maybe. Or he might ...
RACHEL CAINE

How'd you get to be so good at this?"
"I had a good teacher."
"Better not have been Myrnin...
RACHEL CAINE

Yeah, I get it; you're a vampire," she said. "Creepy. And okay, a little hot, I admit."
"You d...
RACHEL CAINE

Shane, in case we don’t … don’t come out of this, I wanted to say…”
He glanced over a...
RACHEL CAINE

Bite me, Goth princess,” Shane called from the back. “Not literally or anything.”
“Mayb...
RACHEL CAINE

Promise me, Amelie, that you’ll crucify me with silver before you allow me to fall in love.”
RACHEL CAINE

She can go with us to the lab and keep Myrnin pinned down while we pull the plug, if he's not... you...
RACHEL CAINE

You okay?"
"Fine."
"Your heart's beating really fast."
"Gee, thanks. That's very comf...
RACHEL CAINE

He's not doing anything he shouldn't be doing, right?"
"Like what?"
"Like hitting on you....
RACHEL CAINE

Doorman: Good morning Mr. Peaknis

Mr. P.: Go to hell
RACHEL CAINE

So don't preach at us like you're some kind of saint. You're just another sinner.
RACHEL CAINE

But why can't we just order what we need? Or buy it?"
Myrnin flicked the silver ring on his rig...
RACHEL CAINE

Two more of the gamers Claire had gifted with the invitation stumbled by; one grabbed Claire's arm a...
RACHEL CAINE

You are not trapped in the box forever," Myrnin said, "as you well know. But I still need you, so yo...
RACHEL CAINE

Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anymore." Eve
RACHEL CAINE

I never forget,” Myrnin said in a choked whisper. “Certainly not with your nails in my throat. T...
RACHEL CAINE

Stay where I am? Jesus Christ, what choice do I have? This house is twenty-five hundred squ...
RACHEL CAINE

Afternoons are hard. Mornings are pure evil from the pits of hell, which is why I don't do them anym...
RACHEL CAINE

There are three parts to learning: information, knowledge and wisdom, A mere accumulation of informa...
RACHEL CAINE

[Myrnin to Claire about their costumes of Pierrot and Harlequin, respectively]
"Don't they teac...
RACHEL CAINE

Claire stretched out against the wall and kissed it. "Glad to see you, too," she whispered, and pres...
RACHEL CAINE

Don't do me any favors, Glass Ass," Jason snapped.
RACHEL CAINE

Michael patted him on the shoulder. “I like this plan,” he said. “You and Eve, picking up cake...
RACHEL CAINE

Jason talking about Michael -

"Don't do me any favors, Glass Ass," Jason snapped.
RACHEL CAINE

You're seriously going to worry about what people think right now?"
"No, I'm worrying about peo...
RACHEL CAINE

Hey, Mikey? You get her hurt and I'll end you."
"You let anything happen to Eve and I'll do the...
RACHEL CAINE

I’d kiss you, too, if I was closer.”(claire)
“I wouldn’t,” Michael said. “I don’t...
RACHEL CAINE

No,” Shane said. “I’m not leaving you two here alone. We stick together.”
“I’m stil...
RACHEL CAINE

Your father's an asshole. It's not a disease. You don't have to catch it.
RACHEL CAINE

The universe explodes, hell freezes, and Shane does something resonable.
RACHEL CAINE

What about Myrnin?'
Eve swallowed, almost choked, and Michael patted her kindly on the back. Sh...
RACHEL CAINE

That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna ...
RACHEL CAINE

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, stro...
RACHEL CAINE

Does it give you deja voodoo how alike the houses are?"
"That's deja vu, and I hate you right n...
RACHEL CAINE

Nobody's cut out for this town," Shane said. "Nobody sane anyway."
"Says the kid who came back....
RACHEL CAINE

Funny how physics didn't go away when you were murdered.
RACHEL CAINE

Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality show...
RACHEL CAINE

He looked down at himself and laughed softly. ‘‘My dark side dresses better than I do.’’ He ...
RACHEL CAINE

Clumsiness would be just as deadly an opponent.
RACHEL CAINE

The successful man doesn't use others, other people use the successful man, for above all the su...
MARK CAINE

See?" he said, with an unholy amount of glee. "I hardly broke any laws at all. I should drive more o...
RACHEL CAINE

You've turned into quite a bossy little thing," Myrnin said. "I think I might like it.
RACHEL CAINE

Are you in the car that's almost caused three accidents on North Vance?" Hannah asked. "Because I'm ...
RACHEL CAINE

Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.

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Michael Caine

Presenting the Oscars was the most nerve-racking job I have ever done in show business. It's very much a live show: they have comedy writers waiting in the wings, and as you come off between presentations, they hand you an appropriate gag to tell.

Michael Caine

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