Practicing security means continually turning towards the best version of yourself.

Love is like sunlight,” she said when I didn't respond. “You can give all of yourself to someone and still have all of yourself left to give to others, and to yourself. To your work. To anything or anyone you choose. Love isn't like food; you won't starve anyone by giving It freely. It's not a finite resource.

When you fall in love with yourself & treat yourself well, your tolerance for anyone treating you anyway different than you do will be non-tolerant.

True Love in this differs from gold and clay,/That to divide is not to take away.

So, a little advice. Relax. You're not filling a job position. You're looking for a pleasant acquaintance.. who might become a good friend... who turns out to be attractive to your senses... and a rewarding lover... then a committed partner whose heart will not stray. If you don't see those signposts and in that order, then you're probably on the wrong road and getting more lost with every step.

Security comes first from inside of you. Then, if you are very lucky, you will be in a position to find other people who also possess that same sort of security, and build some sort of family or community as a team.