Poverty is a solved problem - all they have to do is abolish taxes and regulations which cripple those intelligent, capable, and responsible men and women and destroy their productive capacity, then stand back and watch the economy boom.


L. Neil Smith

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I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
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Violent crime is a solved problem - all they have to do is repeal the laws that keep those intellige...
L. NEIL SMITH
The American girl makes a servant of her husband and then finds him contemptible for being a servant
JOHN STEINBECK
When women agree with me I always do the other thing
CHARLES BUKOWSKI
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
JACKIE MASON
Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to view each other ...
BAUDELAIRE
I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home, which answer the same purpose ...
MARIE CORELLI
I married beneath me. All women do.
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For a male and female to live continuously together is...biologically speaking, an extremely unnatur...
COTY PERFUME AD
There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer for them, or turn them into literatu...
STEPHEN STILLS
Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
ANONYMOUS
Want him to be more of a man? Try being more of a woman!
HONORE DE BALZAC
My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with ...
LENNY BRUCE
Study to be quiet, and to do your own business. [1 Thessalonians 4:11].
BIBLE
If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
CHEKHOV
Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can be...
ANONYMOUS
In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
JOHNNY CARSON
Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS
Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS
It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS
He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS
All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS
A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS
Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS
In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles sugg...
ROBERT BRIFFAULT
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother...
ENGLISH PROVERB
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is ...
HONORE DE BALZAC
If ever two were one, then surely we. If ever man were loved by wife, then thee.
LENNY BRUCE
Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.
LIN Yü-TANG
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.
LADY NANCY ASTOR
Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
S. T. COLERIDGE
Instead of getting hard ourselves and trying to compete, women should try to give their best qualiti...
JOAN BAEZ
Women like silent men. They think they're listening.
MARCEL ARCHARD
My wife organized the Jewish Women's Caucus boycott of Moses.. wait.. ! I am receiving a correction ...
JOHN C LEHMAN
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
JIM BACKUS
She is not made to be the admiration of all, but the happiness of one.
EDMUND BURKE
If Rosa Parks had taken a poll before she sat down in the bus in Montgomery, she'd still be standing...
MARY FRANCES BERRY
Woman was God's second mistake.
ARISTOTLE ONASSIS
No woman marries for money; they are all clever enough, before marrying a millionaire, to fall in lo...
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The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
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It is always incomprehensible to a man that a woman should ever refuse an offer of marriage.
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I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to m...
DAVID BISSONETTE
The woman who is known only through a man is known wrong.
HENRY BROOKS ADAMS
On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
H. L. MENCKEN
A woman's head is always influenced by heart; but a man's heart by his head. -Lady Marguerite Bless...
LADY MARGUERITE BLESSINGTON
If it's a woman, its caustic; if it's a man, it's authoritative. -Barbara Walters.
BARBARA WALTERS
A good cigar is as great a comfort to a man as a good cry is to a woman.
EDWARD G. BULWER-LYTTON
There is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man's heart.
JUDITH ANDERSON
They say that women talk too much. If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was i...
CLARE BOOTH LUCE
When women go wrong, men go right after them. -Mae West.
MAE WEST
The society of women is the element of good manners.
JONATHAN S. HAAS
Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
PAULINE THOMASON
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.
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Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.
SAM KINISON
Bigamy is one way of avoiding the painful publicity of divorce and the expense of alimony.
JOHN HEYWOOD
I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the ...
MADAME DE RIEUX
Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her than a man she loves.
AMY BLOOM
A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle...
POOR JIMMY'S ALMANAC
Never tell. Not if you love your wife... In fact, if your old lady walks in on you, deny it. Yeah. J...
MARY BUCKLEY
Ah Mozart! He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.
ANNE BRADSTREET
A small family is soon provided for.
MARVIN KITMAN
Such a wife as I want... must be young, handsome I lay most stress upon a good shape, sensible a lit...
ALEXANDER HAMILTON
An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy.
SPANISH PROVERB
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent that is to triumph over old ...
THOMAS B. ALDRICH
I require three things in a man: He must be handsome, ruthless, and stupid.
BETTE-JANE RAPHAEL
I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules, including: * Both of your socks ...
JILLY COOPER
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY
Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
NAVAHO SAYING
He knows little, who will tell his wife all he knows.
THOMAS FULLER
When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.
MOLLY MCGEE
The mandate for equal opportunity doesn't dictate disregard for the differences in candidates' quali...
TIM III ELLIS
We have not passed that subtle line between childhood and adulthood until we move from the passive v...
SIDNEY J. HARRIS
Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn...
CLARE BOOTHE LUCE
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. -Timothy Leary.
TIMOTHY LEARY
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that people call m...
REBECCA WEST
Men are not the enemy, but the fellow victims. The real enemy is women's denigration of themselves. ...
BETTY FRIEDAN
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
CHARLOTTE WHITTON
If I were a girl, I'd despair. The supply of good women far exceeds that of the men who deserve them...
SACHA GUITRY
Women see better than men. Men see lazily, if they do not expect to act. Women see quite without any...
JANE GOODSELL
Why did Nature create man? Was it to show that she is big enough to make mistakes, or was it pure ig...
MARGO KAUFMAN
Marriage isn't a word... it's a sentence.
WEDDING TOAST
To marry is to halve your rights and double your duties.
SCOTTISH PROVERB
To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whene...
CESARE PAVESE
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriag...
PHYLLIS MCGINLEY
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.
JAMES HOLT MCGAVRAN
Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose.
STEPHEN LEACOCK
Love is blind and marriage is the institution for the blind.
LEWIS GRIZZARD
Thank heaven. A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.
JAMES GRAHAM
Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
FRENCH SAYING
A good marriage is at least 80 percent good luck in finding the right person at the right time. The ...
SYDNEY SMITH
There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marria...
JOHN LYLY
I think every woman is entitled to a middle husband she can forget.
BILLY SUNDAY
Ne'er take a wife till thou hast a house (and a fire) to put her in.
FULLER THOMAS

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NEIL GAIMAN
There is a madness, yes, this is true. Few mortals possess it, the willingness to step away from the...
NEIL GAIMAN
I suppose the point you grow up is the point you let the dreams go.
NEIL GAIMAN
Can't say I've ever been too fond of beginnings, myself. Messy little things. Give me a good ending ...
NEIL GAIMAN
Have you ever been in love? Horrible, isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and ...
NEIL GAIMAN
I would feel infinitely more comfortable in your presence if you would agree to treat gravity as a l...
NEIL GAIMAN
It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the emperor has no cl...
NEIL GAIMAN
All around me darkness gathers,
Fading is the sun that shone,
We must speak of other mat...
NEIL GAIMAN
We do what we do, because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
NEIL GAIMAN
We make choices. No one else can live our lives for us. And we must confront and accept the conseque...
NEIL GAIMAN
You don't have to stay anywhere forever.
NEIL GAIMAN
Then, one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life......
NEIL GAIMAN
Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and i...
NEIL GAIMAN
She seems so cool, so focused, so quiet, yet her eyes remain fixed upon the horizon. You think you k...
NEIL GAIMAN
I think I fell in love with her, a little bit. Isn't that dumb? But it was like I knew her. Like she...
NEIL GAIMAN
We who make stories know that we tell lies for a living. But they are good lies that say true things...
NEIL GAIMAN
It would have been hard for Fat Charlie to say exactly when the accumulation of birds on the wire me...
NEIL GAIMAN
You'll think this is a bit silly, but I'm a bit--well, I have a thing about birds."
"What, a ph...
NEIL GAIMAN
Nobody looks like what they really are on the inside. You don’t. I don’t. People are much more c...
NEIL GAIMAN
There was a smile dancing on his lips, although it was a wary smile, for the world is a bigger place...
NEIL GAIMAN
In a perfect world, you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glitt...
NEIL GAIMAN
The [Five Second Rule] has many variations, including The Three Second Rule, The Seven Second Rule, ...
NEIL PASRICHA
Honestly, if you're given the choice between Armageddon or tea, you don't say 'what kind of tea?
NEIL GAIMAN
Stories, like people and butterflies and songbirds' eggs and human hearts and dreams, are also fragi...
NEIL GAIMAN
Stories you read when you're the right age never quite leave you. You may forget who wrote them or w...
NEIL GAIMAN
There's none so blind as those who will not listen.
NEIL GAIMAN