Piper?, the dog has been named that, had literally stuck her head inside a four inch pipe and couldn't get out.
Dave Fulbright
Related
(Iowa head coach) Dave Allison has been playing his four lines a lot more than me. I don't see fatig...
CLAUDE NOEL A Man Named Dave
DAVE PELZER The tub had literally sunk down about an inch.
JERRY GANTT I had thought about Isabella, and to call her Bella. But I have a (daughter in 10th grade) whose fri...
LAURIE BERNING It's only the losers named 'Dave' that think having an unusual name is bad, and who care...
PENN JILLETTE Dave and I had been song writers in Nashville, trying to get around, out hustling, trying to meet pe...
CHARLES KELLEY I say my hell is the closet I'm stuck inside
DAVE MATTHEWS BAND Basically we pulled out a piece of pipe about four to six inches in length and about an inch in diam...
TONY RODE She was every inch the skeletal goddess that had been promised by the bones of her feet.
JEFFERSON SMITH Fulbright Interest Day is when I really try reaching out to everyone and tell them Fulbright is obta...
DEBORAH PIERCE They went in with a slow, methodical approach because we knew we had a violent felon inside and we k...
DARREN MOLONEY We knew they had a couple players, both named Moore. Jennifer Hinton did a good job on Andrea Moore ...
REGGIE LEE The exact same thing happened down the road. A little 5-pound dog was in the yard while the lady was...
FLORENCE TOMITA That really stuck in my head. He's right; nobody has reason to be talking. Nobody's been there yet.
KRIS ANDERSON Butch hesitated. "Annabeth's okay. You gotta cut her some slack. She had a vision telling her to com...
RICK RIORDAN Piper: it looks like we have hole. Percy: Yeah we've got a dam hole! (LOL-ing) Piper: What! Percy: I...
RICK RIORDAN Piper had a new entry in her top-ten list of Times Piper Felt Useless.
Fighting Shrimpz...
RICK RIORDAN There was a band in Australia named Midnight Oil, and they were a very, very political, and they lit...
MEAT LOAF She was so badly hurt, that the one spot where the dog had chewed her was like 10-12 inches and so b...
ANITA WALKER She had to get 150 stitches. She had seven lacerations to her face. Her ear was literally cut off.
DONNA HENDERSON And I had to take care of a little dog too named Suzy. It was the promoter's wife's - Judy L...
MEL TILLIS I have a Rhodesian Ridgeback dog named Lola.
HANNAH KEARNEY The game Rock Band has been haunting me like a bad ring tone. It gets stuck in my head and momentari...
CARRIE BROWNSTEIN Gaea?” Leo shook his head. “Isn’t that Mother Nature? She’s supposed to have, like, flowers ...
RICK RIORDAN I had literally starved myself for four months ? not a morsel of food ? to get into that pair of siz...
OPRAH WINFREY In the dictionary, next to the word stress, there is a picture of a midsize mutant stuck inside a do...
JAMES PATTERSON He had electric blue hair that had stuck around his head like tendrils of a startled octopus.
CASSANDRA CLARE The bathroom door burst open, and Molly came trotting out. The left half of her body had been shaved...
DAVID WONG Religion, like water, may be free, but when they pipe it to you, you've got to help pay for pipi...
PAULINE PHILLIPS One time she went through a window to go get me help. She got glass stuck in her head. But luckily s...
GINNY DEGROFF I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ...
KELLY JONES For Dawn and her family, this has been a disaster. They literally have nothing. Please pray with us ...
DAVE LAMBERT Sorry," Cath said, rubbing her eyes. Levi had been needling her all night. Teasing her. Trying to ge...
RAINBOW ROWELL Once upon a time she had liked to dance. When she had been about the same age as the little brunette...
ERIN MCCARTHY I've always loved dogs and have had one since I was three. We bought her from a kid selling pupp...
BOB PETERSON I have a rescue dog named Fideo, which means 'noodle' in Spanish, and a cat named Hutch.
ANA ORTIZ The other day we named four. Today, it has become six suspects.
ANTON BAHRUL ALAM A novel seemed the easiest way to get what I had had in my head into the inside of other people's he...
NEIL GAIMAN Dave has done an outstanding job as head coach of this club and we expect that to continue for years...
DOUG ARMSTRONG Lydia had been fantasizing about him to the point she nearly drove him insane with it. It had taken ...
MICHELLE M. PILLOW When he signed his contract for [the Fusion], he went out and bought a minivan, put 20-inch rims on ...
PABLO MASTROENI When he signed his contract for [the Fusion], he went out and bought a minivan, put 20-inch rims on ...
PABLO MASTROENI Mary Queen of Scots had a little dog, a Skye terrier, that was devoted to her. Moments after Mary wa...
ELIZABETH WEIN Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper.
"Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." RICK RIORDAN I had been repeatedly complaining. We have a real dog problem out here.
LINDA SUMMERFIELD You're all trying to figure out what went wrong inside my head. Fucking idiots. You'll never crack t...
BRENT RUNYON The Middle Market M&A group has been critical to Piper over the last 15 years, and Glenn is a very i...
KENT ADAMS It was like being hit over the head with a lead pipe. It's a small unit here and everyone's been cry...
RON BROWN I was head football coach at Baylor for 21 years. I've been out 12, and they've had four head coache...
GRANT TEAFF Piper was maybe the most impressive. She fenced with the giantess Periboia, sword against sword. Des...
RICK RIORDAN They get out there, one guy blows a pitch pipe and they start singing.
ROBERT RUGGIERI There wasn't much we could do for the dog. She had a severe head injury. But I could tell right away...
DR. KIMBERLEE YOUNG The old man explained that his wife had chased him out, so they went inside and found her hanging fr...
MAMPHASWA SEABI Abbie would whimper sometimes when the turkey answered and maybe turn her head in the direction of t...
SCOTT BASESHORE I could tell real fast it wasn't going to be an argument. He pulls out a pipe and starts clobbering ...
JEFF MARTIN This is a goal we put up on the board at the beginning of the year. It's a goal Sara has had for fou...
KYLE MCCAUGHN Our dog sat down at a dog show at a time when the dog was supposed to stand up. That person went to ...
MICHAEL MCCULLOCH He’s like a song she can’t get out of her
head.
JENNIFER E. SMITH All but Dave on the end peg struggled for anything other than really small roach - four or five to t...
PAUL FROST We want her adopted out by herself. She has been around puppies her entire life and now she needs a ...
JULIE QUINN You're only a dog, old fellow; a dog, and you've had your day; But never a friend of all my friends ...
JULIAN STEARNS CUTLER You cant get around what he did to her, the fact that he plunged this six-inch knife into her chest,
JULIE MITCHELL Socrates had a student named Plato, Plato had a student named Aristotle, and Aristotle had a student...
TOM MORRIS Oh, for heaven’s sake, Sirius, Dumbledore said no!”
A bearlike black dog had appeared...
J.K. ROWLING The Wolf and the Crane
A WOLF who had a bone stuck in his throat hired a Crane, for a large sum, to ...
AESOP I'd rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree
DANA BURNET This dog has been biting since 2001. We don't know what to do. It isn't that we don't like Nancy, we...
CAROL BROWN The last four games we had great practices. For four weeks we concentrated on defensive intensity an...
BRETT AMES Certainly, Continental has taken advantage of pipe and sponsored pipeline projects where we could. A...
HAROLD HAMM Dang! Look at that RAINBOW!" Piper shouted, accidently spewing bits of apple pie from her overstuffe...
VICTORIA FORESTER I established a rule that any person named in witness testimony should not be named in the report un...
RAFIQ HARIRI He didn't even know where the girl had been killed, ... He took the police and told them it had happ...
JAMES LOCKYER Anger has been a really big deal for women: how can we express it without feeling that, as the physi...
ALANIS MORISSETTE She has grown, and her talent has come out. Her work is out there, a lot of her pictures have been p...
JANET NOEL We had an unwelcome guest here at the park named Wilma and because of her we haven't been able to en...
ANDREW HERTZ We have seen four years of wrangling without anything happening. They are stuck in quicksand, and if...
KEVIN WATKINS She re-read his email four times, feeling offended and breathless, like he had casually grabbed her ...
MOLLY RINGLE The biggest dog has been a pup
JOAQUIN MILLER Then inside, she was shouting, ?Get on the [bleeping] floor!? The lady officer stuck her foot in the...
JENNIFER JOHNSON Right now it isn't realistic. This franchise has had a lot of success for a long time, and they're r...
FRANK HAMBLEN If I had been a dog walker, I would have been the most successful dog walker in Paris.
TOM FORD She had three or four steals and played a really solid game inside.
BILL BUTHORN Then I saw her smile so close to my eye that there was nothing to see but the smile and the thought ...
ALI SMITH Her body had been asleep but now it was wide awake and very aware of every inch of the Iceman. She'd...
CHRISTINE FEEHAN As we landed, we knew we were in the right spot because there was literally a mountain of dog food. ...
BRENT HUDSPETH Piper insisted she had to be out of breath when we played this one scene, so she ran around the bloc...
DICK YORK Somebody broke into that house and got her. Somebody got her out without her screaming, yelling, ale...
JEFF DUSEK The greatest thing has been that projects that were pipe dreams before 'Whiplash' are now fe...
DAMIEN CHAZELLE Maybe three or four years ago (eight wins) was the plateau and then maybe three or four years ago th...
STAN HEATH I'm named after a horse. My mom's best friend had a horse named Brooke, so my dad suggested ...
BROOKLYN DECKER That young lady is nothing but a team player. In the four years that she's been here, she has done a...
JEFF JODON He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
DOROTHY PARKER Michael has got a 12-inch gash in his knee which has been stitched up,
GLENN HODDLE This was really the first game that we've been able to get people in position and move them around. ...
LISA KIRK She loved him because he had brought her back to life. She had been like a caterpillar in a cocoon, ...
KEN FOLLETT They are a bit more sanguine about inflation than the market has been, and they've been trying to te...
JOSHUA FEINMAN I have this dog named Marley, and it is a kind of love I had never known. I have a hard time believi...
EDIE FALCO The four-inch rain washed away everything we'd done this spring. It came down so fast that the washe...
RICK ANDERSON It literally suffocates inside the armor.
LEE SCHWAMM He didn't even know where the girl had been killed, ... He took the police and told them it had happ...
JAMES LOCKYER
More Dave Fulbright
The proper evaluation of a circumstance like that is critical to the welfare of the dog.
DAVE FULBRIGHT I think we Americans tend to put too high a price on unanimity, as if there were something dangerous...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The junior senator from Wisconsin, by his reckless charges, has so preyed upon the fears and hatreds...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT As a conservative power, the United States has a vital interest in upholding and expanding the reign...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT There is an inevitable divergence between the world as it is and the world as men perceive it.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The price of empire is America's soul, and that price is too high.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT To be a statesman, you must first get elected.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT Power confuses itself with virtue and tends also to take itself for omnipotence.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The Soviet Union has indeed been our greatest menace, not so much because of what it has done, but b...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The exchange program is the thing that reconciles me to all the difficulties of political life.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT I do not question the power of our weapons and the efficiency of our logistics; I cannot say these t...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT When we violate the law ourselves, whatever short-term advantage may be gained, we are obviously enc...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We have the power to do any damn fool thing we want to do, and we seem to do it about every 10 minut...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT I'm sure that President Johnson would never have pursued the war in Vietnam if he'd ever had...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In our excessive involvement in the affairs of other countries, we are not only living off our asset...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT There are many respects in which America, if it can bring itself to act with the magnanimity and the...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In the name of noble purposes men have committed unspeakable acts of cruelty against one another.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We must dare to think 'unthinkable' thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and p...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT Law is the essential foundation of stability and order both within societies and in international re...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT To me, the irony of this involvement with size, as I observed earlier, is the unwillingness or inabi...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT Naturepitiless in a pitiless universeis certainly not concerned with the survival of Americans or, f...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT It is not our affluence, or our plumbing, or our clogged freeways that grip the imagination of other...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT It is amazing how soon one becomes accustomed to the sound of ones voice, when forced to repeat a sp...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT When public men indulge themselves in abuse, when they deny others a fair trial, when they resort to...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The legislator is an indispensable guardian of our freedom. It is true that great executives have pl...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT It seems to me that it is these extremists who are advocating a soft approach. Their oversimplificat...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The citizen who criticizes his country is paying it an implied tribute.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We have the power to do any damn fool thing we want to do, and we seem to do it about every ten minu...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT What a curious picture it is to find man, homo sapiens, of divine origin, we are told, seriously con...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In a democracy, dissent is an act of faith.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT Insofar as international law is observed, it provides us with stability and order and with a means o...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The cause of our difficulties in southeast Asia is not a deficiency of power but an excess of the wr...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The rapprochement of peoples is only possible when differences of culture and outlook are respected ...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT When public men indulge themselves in abuse, when they deny others a fair trial, when they resort to...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In a democracy, dissent is an act of faith.
JAMES WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste...
J. W. FULBRIGHT It is not our affluence, or our plumbing, or our clogged freeways that grip the imagination of other...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We must dare to think about "unthinkable things" because when things become "unthinkable" thinking s...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In a democracy dissent is an act of faith. Like medicine, the test of its value is not in its taste,...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT In the long course of history, having people who understand your thought is much greater security th...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We must dare to think "unthinkable" thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibili...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The biggest lesson I learned from Vietnam is not to trust our own government statements. I had no id...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We must dare to think unthinkable thoughts.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT We must dare to think 'unthinkable' thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibili...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT To avoid a nuclear war . . . you may think that's pretentious but that's its main goal.
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT It was never intended by the Founding Fathers that the President of the United States should be a ve...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT It's the one activity that gives me some hope that the human race won't commit suicide, though I sti...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT The biggest lesson I learned from Vietnam is not to trust [our own] government statements. I had no ...
J. WILLIAM FULBRIGHT I do still get shocked every once in a while when I catch my reflection when I'm walking past a ...
DAVE MATTHEWS Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL Everyone has a breaking point, turning point, stress point, the game is permeated with it. The fans ...
DAVE WINFIELD Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
DAVE BARRY We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admi...
DAVE BARRY Instead of sailing off into the sunset, he hopes to sail into the next century.
DAVE ANDERSON For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.
DAVE BARRY What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another pe...
DAVE BARRY Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.
DAVE BARRY Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is ...
DAVE BARRY If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will ...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to a...
DAVE BARRY The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.
DAVE BARRY It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.
DAVE BARRY I never excelled at one sport or had a very strong passion for anything other than wrestling and bod...
DAVE BAUTISTA A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are t...
DAVE ATTELL As an individual, I think you have to find your own path. I like the simplicity and purity of Hindui...
DAVE DAVIES I had a few brushes with death, where I nearly chose to go. The final one in 1996 did it for me. I s...
DAVE GAHAN The important thing to remember is that bugs don't actually talk.
DAVE FOLEY When people get disillusioned and get insecure and content about the future, they tend to brood abou...
DAVE DAVIES Jazz isn't dead yet. It's the underpinning of everything in this country. Whether it's a...
DAVE BRUBECK And that's actually the brunt of what we do is, people going straight from their workplace, stra...
DAVE EGGERS That's country music for you - bourbon and the Bible.
DAVE HAYWOOD So this is the space during tutoring hours. It's very busy. Same principles: one-on-one attentio...
DAVE EGGERS You can do and use the skills that you have. The schools need you. The teachers need you. Students a...
DAVE EGGERS The Left likes to think of itself as the bulwark of progressive liberal individualism, and yet it se...
DAVE BRAT Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY A standard sitcom... is a very standard idea, like these people falling in love and living with each...
DAVE FINKEL Standing out as a writer today requires more than a bright idea and limpid prose. Authors need to be...
DAVE MORRIS Empire Square production finishes in about a month's time, so at the moment, right now, I'm ...
DAVE ROWNTREE It is criminal to put our servicemen and women in harm's way and to put the lives of so many civ...
DAVE MATTHEWS We don't have enough people going into those fields and there is a high burnout rate in some hea...
DAVE OBEY Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is th...
DAVE BARRY If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.
DAVE BARRY The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes i...
DAVE BARRY I go to see some big shows of other bands, and I feel like I'm so bombarded and over-stimulated ...
DAVE GAHAN I'm tired of high policy talks. I want to focus on nuts and bolts.
DAVE FREUDENTHAL The thing that will never go away is that connection you make with a band or a song where you're...
DAVE GROHL I played a homosexual bodyguard in 'The Last Detective,' and that was quite a pleasure to do...
DAVE LEGENO It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another perso...
DAVE BARRY The baby boomer surge is forcing society to face decisions about costs - and particularly what is va...
DAVE DEBRONKART Granted, a long book can be as daunting as a hard one. I nearly reached for 'Game of Thrones'...
DAVE MORRIS Joy comes from places you least expect it. It's usually the simple things, like watching my son ...
DAVE GAHAN If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to...
DAVE BARRY The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or...
DAVE BARRY The waves of love roll throughout the Universe, and overflow in our hearts..
Everything is ONE!
DAVE ZEBIAN I like the relaxed way in which the Japanese approach religion. I think of myself as basically a mor...
DAVE BARRY I'm so alive.
As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
DAVE PELZER 'Breaking Bad' and 'The Shield' were planned right from the start so that their narr...
DAVE MORRIS I found there's a fairly blatant racism in America that's already there, and I don't thi...
DAVE MATTHEWS I want to make hand-held music, undiminished by the need to make everybody in the world listen at on...
DAVE SITEK We all have to die some day, if we live long enough.
DAVE FARBER We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless...
DAVE BARRY The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitutio...
DAVE BARRY There just isn’t enough cock in this world to be caught suckin’ and be called anything but a slu...
DAVE MATTHES ...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
DAVE MATTHES I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer.
DAVE BARRY That’s what books do. They are the building blocks, the DNA, if you will, of you. Think of everyth...
DAVE EGGERS I will not wait to love as best as I can. We thought we were young and that there would be time to l...
DAVE EGGERS Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
DAVE BARRY It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know ...
DAVE BARRY You had me at "We'll make it look like an accident."
DAVE BARRY Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
DAVE BARRY I'd take a nerf bullet for you.
DAVE BARRY What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my car...
DAVE BARRY The first person who decided to say a word instead of throwing a rock can be considered the starter ...
DAVE BARRY It was not that Adam ate the apple for the apple's sake, but because it was forbidden. It would have...
DAVE BARRY I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to r...
DAVE BARRY Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic.
DAVE BARRY I may not know Karate, but I know crazy and I'm not afraid to use it.
DAVE BARRY In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is ba...
DAVE BARRY Books have a unique way of stopping time in a particular moment and saying: Let’s not forget this.
DAVE EGGERS Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing...
DAVE MATTHEWS Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see wi...
DAVE BARRY Can you imagine the reaction of a British tabloid newspaper if they found a small school in rural En...
DAVE GORMAN We have advantages. We have a cushion to fall back on. This is abundance. A luxury of place and time...
DAVE EGGERS How could I have been anyone other than me?
DAVE MATTHEWS My band career ended late in my senior year when John Cooper and I threw my amplifier out the dormit...
DAVE BARRY As a rule, software systems do not work well until they have been used, and have failed repeatedly, ...
DAVE PARNAS Don't get suckered in by the comments ... they can terribly be misleading.
DAVE STORER Giving half answers won't make the conversation half as long.
DAVE JOHNSON Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would b...
DAVE BARRY A theme is a memory aid, it helps you through the presentation just as it also provides the thread o...
DAVE CAREY What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be...
DAVE BARRY Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popula...
DAVE BARRY Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be just as complicated ...
DAVE BARRY Democracy: In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
DAVE BARRY There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who ...
DAVE BARRY The obvious and fair solution to the housework problem is to let men do the housework for, say, the ...
DAVE BARRY It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in...
DAVE BARRY In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went...
DAVE BARRY Although Golf was originally restricted to wealthy Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns h...
DAVE BARRY Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybo...
DAVE BERRY Anything done for the first time unleashes a demon.
DAVE SIM I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any ...
DAVE BARRY The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.
DAVE BARRY A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer
DAVE BARRY It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mer...
DAVE BARRY Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the p...
DAVE BARRY The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they...
DAVE BARRY My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.
DAVE BARRY The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withst...
DAVE BARRY Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.
DAVE BARRY The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas...
DAVE BARRY We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless y...
DAVE BARRY Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that h...
DAVE BARRY If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to sa...
DAVE BARRY And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to ta...
DAVE BARRY The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious pe...
DAVE BARRY Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.
DAVE BARRY New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace ...
DAVE BARRY Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organiza...
DAVE BARRY Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won...
DAVE BARRY Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
DAVE BARRY Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.
DAVE BARRY Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
DAVE BARRY I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Futu...
DAVE BARRY One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a compute...
DAVE BARRY If you can't excell with talent, triumph with effort.
DAVE WEINBAUM People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with th...
DAVE BARRY Our environmental problems originate in the hubris of imagining ourselves as the central nervous sys...
DAVE FOREMAN Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see wit...
DAVE BARRY We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but ...
DAVE BARRY We are not meant to know everything, Mae. Did you ever think that perhaps our minds are delicately c...
DAVE EGGERS You sit at a desk twelve hours a day and you have nothing to show for it except some numbers that wo...
DAVE EGGERS It’s not that I’m not social. I’m social enough. But the tools you guys create actually manufa...
DAVE EGGERS Even in a country like the USA where fitness has become an obsession, most people exercising do not ...
DAVE WILSON Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, usi...
DAVE BARRY We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this i...
DAVE BARRY Life's real failure is when you do not realize how close you were to success when you gave up.
DAVE CHECKETT You can't choose what you're famous for in life.
DAVE KELLETT The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dic...
DAVE KELLETT A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea...
DAVE MEURER Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY The future is no place to place your better days.
DAVE MATTHEWS Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per...
DAVE KELLETT I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit...
DAVE EGGERS Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri...
DAVE REICHERT It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
DAVE BARRY American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi...
DAVE BARRY Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho...
DAVE BARRY In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day.
DAVE PELZER At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi...
DAVE REICHERT