Piano Man put up a fight but his resistance was futile. Hell hath no fury like a drunken girl at her bachelorette party in the mood to sing.

I've never understood people who just go out for one drink. Once I have one drink, I want all the drinks.

Free drinks have no carbs.

There was a kindliness about intoxication - there was that indescribable gloss and glamour it gave, like the memories of ephemeral and faded evenings.

I can party like a twenty-four-year-old but it takes me almost a week to recover.

All you young Aussies just want to fuck and get fucked up, no?