People say: 'Why do you want to play the straight man?' Well, it's because he gets to be in every scene.

People say I'm henpecked. Well, let them say it.

A straight factor is important in any comedy, because you need something to tee it up and also to ground it.

People say I manipulate the media. Well, duh. We live in a media culture, so why on earth wouldn't I?

Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!

People say it gets better but it doesn't. It just gets different, that's all.