John Oliver
Related Have four things going. I have stand-up comedy, two television shows and I'm working on a play. ... JOY BEHAR DEYTH BANGER DEYTH BANGER IRVINE WELSH The worst thing people ever say is that 'I can't afford to have kids!' It's selfish,... TAMER HASSAN TAYLOR SWIFT Maybe that's what praying is all about. Maybe it's not just asking God to forgive us for bad things ... SARAH DARER LITTMAN HANNIBAL BURESS BETTY FORD STEVEN COJOCARU KIRK DOUGLAS I've heard people on panels say, 'You must have a Web site. You need to tweet. Repeat the ti... MAUREEN JOHNSON I just always loved stand-up. It's like magic. You say something, and a whole room full of peopl... DAVE CHAPPELLE When I was leaving NBC News to go to CNN, people would say, 'What?! Why would you possibly leave... SOLEDAD O'BRIEN My parents always say I have really good legs. I've worked really hard for them. They always ins... SAMAIRE ARMSTRONG COMMON Many times, people have come up to me after singing some songs, and they'd say, 'Richie, do ... RICHIE HAVENS I have great fans that come up to me, and they just want me to sign stuff. I have a restaurant in Be... ANTONIO SABATO, JR. OLIVER STONE I'm not a comedian, I'm not a stand-up and I don't come from a comedy background. I am a... DARREN BOYD JOHN MADDEN You know, I think there was a point in time when people didn't really understand how birth certi... JAN BREWER BILL BURR When I played in a band, people just stand there and look at you and criticize what they didn't ... ZEDD CYNTHIA BREAZEAL I've been in things that have impressed people and they've come up to congratulate you but i... ELIZABETH MCGOVERN Did you know that what you really, really, really want ...you now have? LORRIN L. LEE MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. TONY DANZA I don't think all comedy should be mindless. Have something that's thoughtful. Maybe some th... JERROD CARMICHAEL DIANE VON FURSTENBERG I try to go throughout my daily life just as if nothing has changed, but you don't have much ano... ADAM LAMBERT JOSS WHEDON When I look at my body, I'm like, 'I'm a lead of a TV show?' To have a man in the bu... RACHEL KELLER ORSON WELLES Maybe I'll put my iPod in two minutes before. But truly, I've listened to actors say that th... BERENICE BEJO When I started, people would come to interview me, and just knowing that I worked in videogames - it... YUJI HORII DON RICKLES MARIE HELVIN ERIC SCHNEIDERMAN The 'Road Rules' thing was just something that happened. It was never like when I was little... THEO VON I have become so used to having people say, 'We loved your movie' instead of 'We read yo... CHARLES R. JACKSON MARTIN SCORSESE I know we have people who say they know things, but in a court of law you have to see things for it ... DAVID BAIRD TRACEE ELLIS ROSS Let's just say I was really bad. Now I have grown into myself. I have changed. NAVEEN ANDREWS KHALED HOSSEINI Over the years, I've heard a lot of people who don't feel that they have it in them to do an... KAJA FOGLIO BRUNO MARS MICHAEL ENZI KAITLYN DEVER What you do, say, and have reveal who you are. LORRIN L. LEE CHANNING TATUM CHELSEA CLINTON MIKE NICHOLS I don't have anything to say. I appreciate your interest. I just have nothing to say right now. CLARK FREEMAN What I find really attractive is something that's going to be a little dangerous. Something that... PETER CAREY JOSH RADNOR People would say, 'Boy, I really loved you in Ferris Bueller," and it would really aggravat... ALAN RUCK REGIS PHILBIN TWINKLE KHANNA A lot of people assume I have a great hat collection, but kids steal my hats at every show. I've... MAC DEMARCO Teaching and writing, to me, is really just seduction; you go to where people are and you find somet... LAWRENCE M. KRAUSS The thing I get the most that I really love is that people don't so much mention films I've ... RITA MORENO I often say television is not a job for grown men. You go to a set, they pick out your clothes for y... DANNY BONADUCE The best thing I could say is you do have to be a really good listener. If I go to a family reunion,... SUSAN STRAIGHT MORRISSEY MITCH ALBOM I hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that just say, 'I'm stupid.' BILL ENGVALL Hollywood looks to these young people now to say something to the world. I have nothing against that... SASHA ALEXANDER CHELSEA HANDLER I never believe them when they say that because you really have to sort of be aware of what's go... SAMANTHA BEE DAX SHEPARD We never want to go into a tour and play 15 songs and say 'Enjoy.' We have messages: Number ... JOHN TESH NICKI MINAJ MARK ZUCKERBERG When they first start doing comedy, new comics or even people that have only been doing it three or ... ERIK GRIFFIN If you put a demo on the net and people say it was the finished version then they're going to sa... DAVID GUETTA T. BOONE PICKENS I don't understand why people make me want to make music that's a join-the-dots thing by num... M.I.A. People used to say I'm weak in comedy. But, with 'Mahesh Khaelja' and 'Dookudu,'... MAHESH BABU TERRY CREWS JOHN OLIVER DAN QUINN I have done a sketch show almost every year since I started in 1975. I have also had a go several ti... LENNY HENRY CHARLIE PUTH MAYA ANGELOU As frustrating as it is to not have a record come out, I have to make sure that it's worth putti... ISAAC BROCK We have to make machines understand what they're doing, or they won't be able to come back a... NICHOLAS NEGROPONTE GARY SHEFFIELD TOM DOUGLAS FLOYD MAYWEATHER, JR. ADRIENNE BAILON When beginning a conversation, ask the other person, “Do you have time to speak right now?” If t... SUSAN C. YOUNG When you're friends with someone, you can't just go out to dinner and say 'O.K., now thi... DAVE GOLDBERG It is weird. People will say, 'Oh my God, I love you.' And I'll say, 'Oh, that's... CHERYL HINES I've heard that many fine artists have to turn their 'finished' paintings to face the wa... CECILIA DART-THORNTON EDWARD SNOWDEN YUVRAJ SINGH I've heard countless women - but not a single man - say to me, 'I could never stand up befor... LISA BLATT
More John Oliver
JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER JOHN OLIVER Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or rather the hashish. OLIVER ST. JOHN If a queen bee were crossed with a Friesian bull, would not the land flow with milk and honey? OLIVER ST. JOHN JOHN OLIVER HOBBES JOHN OLIVER HOBBES JOHN OLIVER HOBBES JOHN OLIVER HOBBES I don't think any responsible performer would go on stage high. If he convinced himself he is better... OLIVER I don't try to analyze my style now or I might lose it. Right now it's automatic and I don't want to... OLIVER I think some entertainers have been very irresponsible in their part in making drug use a fad among ... OLIVER I wouldn't say I'm happy, but I look at things in a soft way. I try to convey more personal interact... OLIVER My job is to entertain people by playing my music well. You shouldn't really be upset because people... OLIVER I like working alone. I feel freer, less constrained. I know what I have to do and I try to do it. T... OLIVER His spiritual life has been exaggerated by a chronic attack of mental gallstones. OLIVER ST. JOHN GOGARTY His spiritual life has been exaggerated by a chronic attack of mental gallstones. OLIVER ST. JOHN GOGARTY JAMIE OLIVER If a man has lost a leg or an eye, he knows he has lost a leg or an eye; but if he has lost a self -... OLIVER SACKS OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE OLIVER STONE In general, people are afraid to acknowledge hallucinations because they immediately see them as a s... OLIVER SACKS I feel I should be trying to complete my life, whatever 'completing a life' means. OLIVER SACKS I often feel that life is about to begin, only to realize it is almost over. OLIVER SACKS Elements and birthdays have been intertwined for me since boyhood, when I learned about atomic numbe... OLIVER SACKS I was always the youngest boy in my class at high school. I have retained this feeling of being the ... OLIVER SACKS I think hallucinations need to be discussed. There are all sorts of hallucinations, and then many so... OLIVER SACKS OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED OLIVER REED 2005 was a great year for me for fantastic roles that nobody saw. OLIVER PLATT I think of myself as an actor. OLIVER PLATT The only thing I wanted to do when I was a young naive kid was to become a New York stage actor. OLIVER PLATT You know I feel very fortunate that my life has turned out the way that it has - whatever that means... OLIVER PLATT I love the script and I just thought it was a great role. Like I say, it's like this - the scrip... OLIVER PLATT You know that was much more of a kind of cameo, I love the movie, I love the story, I love Johnny as... OLIVER PLATT You know, grieve your wife, this is an impulsive thing and you have no idea the kind of trouble you&... OLIVER PLATT The directors that I end up having a really good time with are the ones that understand the fluidity... OLIVER PLATT People start to act very unusually when they find out that they're dying, that they don't ha... OLIVER PLATT OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH OLIVER NORTH A Germany team should not be afraid going into a tournament. History shows that we can raise the lev... OLIVER KAHN This match is about sport and I separate that completely from politics. OLIVER KAHN When you look at our programme for the next few weeks, you do not fancy a trip to the Oktoberfest. OLIVER KAHN If I play, I try to concentrate on producing my best. OLIVER KAHN There is no reason to change this system. I don't think we'll abandon it. For us the most im... OLIVER KAHN We are Bayern Munich and English teams always have trouble as soon as they leave the island. OLIVER KAHN Complaining and arguing will not help. We are fully concentrating on the game against the Czechs. OLIVER KAHN I have a feeling we are going to be world champions, I can't really explain why. Brazil are prob... OLIVER KAHN If we perform as a unit and if every single player gives it his very best, everything can happen. OLIVER KAHN I want babies. I think I'll be a great dad. OLIVER HUDSON My mom is in her mid-60s and has more energy and is more youthful than any human being I know. It... OLIVER HUDSON You can love someone like your son, even if he's not your biological son, and you can love someo... OLIVER HUDSON Personally, fame never really played any part in our family life. OLIVER HUDSON Parent hard, play hard. That's my philosophy. OLIVER HUDSON His advice to me is basically to just love what you do and don't let the fear of failure stop yo... OLIVER HUDSON We were taught manners and we had to do our chores - Katie and I grew up as normal kids. OLIVER HUDSON I have a box of things from Becca, my high school girlfriend, and Vanessa; and each one of them was ... OLIVER HUDSON Father or stepfather - those are just titles to me. They don't mean anything. OLIVER HUDSON Fathers in today's modern families can be so many things. OLIVER HUDSON Blood relatives often have nothing to do with family, and similarly, family is about who you choose ... OLIVER HUDSON OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD OLIVER HERFORD That's another fine mess you've gotten me into. OLIVER HARDY We never see ourselves as others see us. OLIVER HARDY OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH OLIVER GOLDSMITH People did not even then like to eat dirt, if they could see it. OLIVER EVANS It frequently happens that two persons, reasoning right on a mechanical subject, think alike and inv... OLIVER EVANS OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER CROMWELL OLIVER HERFORD JAMIE OLIVER OLIVER TAMBO German is a much more precise language than English. Americans throw the word love around for everyt... OLIVER MARKUS If we wish to know about a man, we ask 'what is his story--his real, inmost story?'--for each of us ... OLIVER SACKS In 'D.A.R.Y.L.' there was a part where I had to freeze to death, and they didn't even us... BARRET OLIVER Everyone can do a character the way they want to do it, unless the director tells them not to, which... BARRET OLIVER I didn't start out with a spectacular movie. Many people think you don't have to go from not... BARRET OLIVER
Reasons... questions... what they have in common?
Now they have a riddle.
I'm trying to make really flawed characters that have got redeeming features so people can say, ... 
When you say, 'I spent my summers at the Jersey Shore,' people always say, 'Oh, really?&... 
You forget that sometimes comedy is just a big night out for people. Almost every show, people come ... 
And I have always told the patients when I talk to them. When they come around and say, 'What wi... 
I'm a writer. Now I've started to be on television. I have a big mouth. And I have good TV t... 
When you have a stroke, you must talk slowly to be understood, and I've discovered that when I t... 
I learned a long time ago to be honest when I'm talking to other artists. Up-and-coming artists ... 
I've met people who will go to a movie that I can't stand and they say that they saw that mo... 
I've got five grandkids. They play baseball, they play football, they play basketball. I go to a... 
Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't jus... 
If you look at the field of robotics today, you can say robots have been in the deepest oceans, they... 
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: "We... 
The joke I wanted to put into one of the promos for this new season, was to have a guy come up to me... 
When I was a little girl, if I didn't eat my soup, my mother would say, 'You have to think o... 
I've had so much success. I had something to say, I got to say it, people heard it, and they agr... 
As a producer, sitting on the other side of the desk, I have never once had an agent go out on a lim... 
I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anythin... 
If you believe, as I do believe, in reincarnation, they say that every time you come back, it's ... 
I have three very simple principles. I don't like conflicts of interest; they should be eliminat... 
I always say that I've been in a bad mood for maybe 35 years now. I try to lighten it up, but th... 
I've heard people say, 'Why do you have to do a show that's called 'Black Girls Rock... 
I have met so many people who say they've got a book in them, but they've never written a wo... 
Someone told me something that stuck with me: 'You have to envision your life, and then go backw... 
I used to be a retailer, and I find it discouraging when somebody comes in and they pick something u... 
I would have to say that I have to concentrate more when I'm doing comedy. There are so many det... 
I think all jocks have a sensitive side. It's just, will they show it to anybody? Will they let ... 
What's profound and exciting is the way young people are taking advantage of the fact that the I... 
I never understand when people say, 'Do you do comedy or tragedy?' I don't think they... 
But, yeah, I'm really happy when I'm writing. When I'm being creative and when I have so... 
I'm moving on. I should have made that clear when I made the announcement. I guess I wasn't ... 
I've had my nose in a book my whole life. I never thought it would be useful, but it is now. Wha... 
I'm fascinated by people in their eighties and nineties. Especially those who are still creating... 
If we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love, and behave ... 
Some people have a phobia of midgets. They're, like, scared of them. I have the opposite - I see... 
I'm a writer; I've worked as much as a writer as I have as an actor, so I was in a script-no... 
Sometimes I want to just pull the off switch, but you can't because if you go outside, you have ... 
Back, you know, a few generations ago, people didn't have a way to share information and express... 
I'm amused when Congress tries to place the blame on somebody but never themselves. I've nev... 
I just want to say what a tremendous honor it is to be on a show like 'The Newsroom.' I'... 
Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon St... 
When you have that connection to say, 'I'm going to play for something bigger than myself,&#... 
If I was on a 'Modern Family' kind of show, and they said, 'You have to say that the bur... 
You have to develop ways so that you can take up for yourself, and then you take up for someone else... 
This is what people don't understand. When they might see me do something that's not 'Go... 
It's just an American tradition to make sure people don't leave hungry. The worst thing is t... 
When people see what I have now, they have no idea of where I came from and how I didn't have an... 
Zara right now has incredible jeans. I'm obsessed. They have these jeans that have those ridges ... 
When people say, 'Why don't you face the music?' I say, 'You have to understand the ... 
No matter what people say, about what I did, about what I am like... They say you are not dedicated ... 
My family is from Liverpool, so I have some of those vowel sounds, I've got the slack tone of so... 
My family are from Liverpool, so I have some twang there - I have a Midlands accent, and I was raise... 
Men heap together the mistakes of their lives, and create a monster they call Destiny. 
When a man forgets his ideals, he may hope for happiness, but not till then 
I challenge you, to go to any school and open 50 lunchboxes, and I guarantee you there will be one o... 
I've met people who will go to a movie that I can't stand and they say that they saw that mo... 
I think that many people in history who had power were bumped off because they had power. 
At the New York Athletic Club they serve amazing food. People go there, get healthy, and then eat th... 
If the money's right, I'll do a film. 
I'm really a pacifist. 
A Commander-in-Chief needs to do two things. One - tell us who the enemy is. And two - say we are fi... 
God knows, we don't want prayer. 
And of course there is so much of World War II that is documented that we never have seen. 
A man must love a thing very much if he not only practices it without any hope of fame and money, bu... 
Age, like distance lends a double charm. 
The hours we pass with happy prospects in view are more pleasing than those crowded with fruition. 
Where wealth accumulates, men decay. 
All that a husband or wife really wants is to be pitied a little, praised a little, and appreciated ... 
I would have been glad to have lived under my wood side, and to have kept a flock of sheep, rather t... 
Put your trust in God; but be sure to keep your powder dry. 
No one rises so high as he who knows not whither he is going. 
My general rule is that if everyone knew how to cook fresh produce from their local area, and Monday... 
How can it be said we should use only constitutional means in our struggle, when all resistance is i...