People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.

People always ask me, 'Where were you when Kennedy was shot?' Well, I don't have an alibi.

Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.