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PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy of opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.


Ambrose Bierce

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There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ...
J.J. MCAVOY Here’s to all the places we went. And all the places we’ll go. And here’s me, whispering again...
JOHN GREEN I'm not interested in dating a girl I'm not gonna marry
JOHN GREEN The future will erase everything--there's no level of fame or genius that allows you to transcend ob...
JOHN GREEN Every dictator is an enemy of freedom, an opponent of law
DEMOSTHENES Every dictator is an enemy of freedom, an opponent of law.
DEMOSTHENES No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ...
H. P. LOVECRAFT The power of heart is much stronger than the power of mind to empower our life.
ANUJ SOMANY Now that I am alone, I don't have to hide it; I don't have to hide anything any longer. I can let my...
ROALD DAHL And then it was the kind of dark your eyes never adjust to.
JOHN GREEN but there was no denying her smile. That smile could end wars and cure cancer.
JOHN GREEN El pasado es una historia lógica. Es el sentido de lo que sucedió. Pero como el futuro todavía no...
JOHN GREEN Kau bisa melihat masa depan kalau kau punya pemahaman dasar tentang bagaimana orang akan bersikap
JOHN GREEN Masa depan terbentang di hadapannya, tak terhindarkan namun tak kasat mata
JOHN GREEN And even though he felt pitiful and ridiculous, he didn't want it to end, because he knew the absenc...
JOHN GREEN Dumpers may not always be the heartbreakers, and the Dumpees may not always be the heartbroken. But ...
JOHN GREEN Collin Singleton could no more stay cool than a blue whale could stay skinny or Bangladesh could sta...
JOHN GREEN En inglés, Borogove’” I said. “But what if I don’t finish this painting in
time?” TERRY BISSON There is only one true aristocracy . . . and that is the aristocracy of passionate souls!
TENNESSEE WILLIAMS We come to know ourselves in the context of our experiences.
ELIZABETH ALRAUNE You don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what happened.
JOHN GREEN Thus we arrive at the singular conclusion that of all the information passed by our cultural assets ...
SIGMUND FREUD The bullshit detector is the biggest enemy
of every religion."

From: "Gesels van een...
A.J. BEIRENS Every believer should be an apostle since each believer is sent by the Lord Jesus to go and bear fru...
HENRY HON If people could see me the way I see myself - if they could live in my memories - would anyone love ...
JOHN GREEN What is the point of being alive if you don't at least try to do something remarkable? How very odd,...
JOHN GREEN Incidentally, did you know that the whole eight glasses a day thing is complete bullshit and has no ...
JOHN GREEN And the moral of the story is that you don't remember what happened. What you remember becomes what ...
JOHN GREEN When you have nothing nobody knows you. When you have something everyone knows you. If you're not wi...
REGINA MARIE CHRISTENSON My father always told me, "Find a job you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life.
JIM FOX Live for today with your eyes on the future.
THOMAS FLAJNIK - ANTICHIMERAPODAL Don't let anyone blind you with their criticism, you're just beautiful.
AMAN JANGDA Everyone is good at something as long as they love that something.
ARDIT BALISHA The hardest step to take is always the first one.
THOMAS FLAJNIK - ANTICHIMERAPODAL To rule an iceberg, you must swim,.. Deep. Pour régner sur l'iceberg, il faut savoir nager en profo...
CARL MATHIEU Behave with kind with surrendorist, but behave with cruelty with enemy.
NITIN S DHARKAR Words are magic to those who chose to listen, to those who don’t are bones.
PABLO D. RODRIGUEZ şarabın gazabından kork
çünkü fena kırmızıdır
kan tutar / tutan ölür
s...
ATTILâ İLHAN That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love my enemy in the name of Christ, all th...
C.G. JUNG It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.
OLIN MILLER It's just that I learned a while ago that the best way to get people to like you is not to like them...
JOHN GREEN The feeling of loving her and being loved by her welled up in him, and he could taste the adrenaline...
JOHN GREEN You matter as much as the things that matter to you. And I got so backwards trying to matter to him....
JOHN GREEN Quería que lo llamara. Quería que lo echara de menos.
JOHN GREEN Echó de menos el futuro que había imaginado.
JOHN GREEN […] Y sólo se preguntó como puede dolerte algo que no tienes.
JOHN GREEN – En la geometría no hay historias de amor.
– Espera y verás.
JOHN GREEN Pensemos en algo: Los chicos básicamente quieren besar a las chicas
JOHN GREEN Todo el mundo habla de lo que los demás dicen o no dicen.
JOHN GREEN ¿Tendré alguna vez un momento de Eureka?
JOHN GREEN Aquí están todos los sitios a los que hemos ido. Y todos los sitios a los que iremos. Y estoy yo, ...
JOHN GREEN Le decía «Te quiero» como si fuera un secreto, y un secreto importantísimo.
JOHN GREEN Creo que lo que importas esta determinado por las cosas que te importan a ti. Importas tanto como la...
JOHN GREEN Te quedas atrapado en ser algo, ser especial o guay o lo que sea, hasta un punto en que ni siquiera ...
JOHN GREEN Es bueno que las personas signifiquen algo para ti, que las eches de menos cuando no están. Yo no e...
JOHN GREEN Y la moraleja de esta historia es que no recuerdas lo que pasó. Lo que recuerdas se convierte en lo...
JOHN GREEN He decidido recordarla como una buena persona con la que pasé buenos ratos hasta que los dos nos me...
JOHN GREEN Le gustaba llevarme a pasear a orillas de lago, donde contemplábamos las olas rompiendo contra las ...
JOHN GREEN – Es gracioso lo que la gente está dispuesta a hacer para que la recuerden.
– Bueno, o par...
JOHN GREEN Quizá la vida no consiste en superar una serie de marcas de mierda.
JOHN GREEN Me he dado cuenta de que, si regresa conmigo, no llenaría el hueco que creo perderla.
JOHN GREEN So I was ugly. I was never fat, really, and I never wore headgear or had zits or anything. But I was...
JOHN GREEN BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginar...
AMBROSE BIERCE In an age of synthetic images and synthetic emotions, the chances of an accidental encounter with re...
SERGE DANEY I am truly not an axiologist, but I am concerned about the value of life in all of its forms and sha...
DEBASISH MRIDHA I am an opponent of Saddam Hussein, but an opponent also, of the sanctions that have killed a millio...
GEORGE GALLOWAY AN IMAGINARY AXIS OF EVIL: IRAN FROM THE INSIDE,
ANNE MILLER Bush is the enemy of God, the enemy of Islam, an enemy of Muslims.
ABDEL AZIZ RANTISI To have an imaginary friend, first you need to be an imaginary friend.
VICTOR GEERE I am an opponent of Saddam Hussein, but an opponent also, of the sanctions that have killed a millio...
GEORGE GALLOWAY Să te bucuri de clipa prezentă înseamnă să accepți cu bucurie cine ești în acel moment.
KAREN KARBO You're not asking for input. You are asking your admirer's to prove they are paying attention.
CHRIS CLEAVE Each manifestation is an ascension opportunity. All manifestations teach something about oneself and...
STEPHEN RICHARDS Be an unstoppable force. Write with an imaginary machete strapped to your thigh…
LAINI TAYLOR That's why I love road trips, dude. It's like doing something without actually doing anything." - Ha...
JOHN GREEN Each cup of tea represents an imaginary voyage.
CATHERINE DOUZEL He needed to make deals. a deal meant an opponent, an opponent meant confrontation and confrontation...
PETER EVANS Through art we can see the reflection of the inner world of an artist.
DEBASISH MRIDHA The difference between leader and boss is that leaders set the rule for themselves to take along fol...
ANUJ SOMANY you can not understand what i feel for you. because your heart beats for some other one.
PRASOON DWIVEDI i am not rich, but my heart is enough rich that you can stay there for the rest of your life.
PRASOON DWIVEDI Keeping an eye on own self is an Introspection.
JYOTSNAJHA Watching on one’s doing and what he should do for his desires is an Introspection.
JYOTSNAJHA We are all but slaves to an ideal
ELYMOR JAN B. HERNANDEZ Strength is not a virtue of the strong but an illusion of the weak
ELYMOR JAN B. HERNANDEZ Things change, and so do people. The only thing that doesn't change are the memories ❤
DAZZLїиG_Бципу Death is the conclusion of an everlasting essay.
ROSA M. BETANCES It's easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
LEONARDO DA VINCI For what is a man if he is not succesful in love
DANIEL ROBERT O'NEILL What I need to live has been given to me by the earth. Why I need to live has been given to me by yo...
STEPHEN D'MELLO It's far easier to forgive an enemy after you've got even with him.
OLIN MILLER When you STEPOUT, you will Stand out, when you stand out you will definitely be Noticed and when you...
OSCAR BIMPONG Being all equal and independent, no one ought to harm another in his life, health, liberty, or posse...
JOHN LOCKE I lied," I said. ...
"I know it," he said.
"Then do something about it. Do anything, just ...
WILLIAM FAULKNER History, like love, is so apt to surround her heroes with an atmosphere of imaginary brightness.
JAMES FENIMORE COOPER The consolation of an imaginary thing is still a real consolation.
ROGER SCRUTON The girl was holding out her hand, but I could only give a pathetic shrug. I had nothing to give her...
SCOTT HEIM [T]his is an enemy for life, as well as an enemy of life.
CHRISTOPHER HITCHENS ...The Qur'an cannot be translated. ...The book is here rendered almost literally and every effort h...
MARMADUKE WILLIAM PICKTHALL an enemy of the south.
FRANCESCO RUTELLI

More Ambrose Bierce

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.
AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b...
AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e...
AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand...
AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g...
AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.
AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th...
AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ...
AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes...
AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co...
AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no...
AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows.
AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan...
AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi...
AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify.
AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover...
AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.
AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect.
AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un...
AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t...
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result.
AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward.
AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen...
AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy.
AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me.
AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me!
AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire.
AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard.
AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta...
AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state.
AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis...
AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please...
AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out.
AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills.
AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl...
AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well.
AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give...
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien...
AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ...
AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.
AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws.
AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.
AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k...
AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip.
AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free.
AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti...
AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad...
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha...
AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does.
AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom...
AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie...
AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.
AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou...
AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead.
AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart.
AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another.
AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso...
AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi...
AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte...
AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima...
AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o...
AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.
AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde...
AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.
AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus...
AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com...
AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m...
AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So...
AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo
AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie...
AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc...
AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh...
AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of...
AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci...
AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s...
AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai...
AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.
AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.
AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke...
AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor...
AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ...
AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the...
AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ...
AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up.
AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab...
AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.
AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa...
AMBROSE BIERCE