Over the years, I learned that in my career, unlike in life, sometimes my wheelchair is its own automatic door opener. I was able to win the OWN competition by applying one simple principle: be funny, and admit you suck before anyone else can call you out on it. In other words, make the narrative of your failure a comedy.


Zach Anner

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I think a generation ago, dads went to work, they came home, and they had their dinner, had a drink,...
ZACH CREGGER
Winning the 2007 Master's was a dream fulfilled; culminating on Easter Sunday with my family was...
ZACH JOHNSON
I wish I could sit back and say, 'Oh, I'm gonna wait for a Merchant-Ivory film to come my wa...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
Some people can be choosy because they're ultratalented or lucky or whatever, but yeah, there ar...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
My forte is awkwardness.
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
I always liked the story of Noah's Ark and the idea of starting anew by rescuing the things you ...
ZACH BRAFF
Over this August district work period, like many of my colleagues, I spent a lot of time with the me...
ZACH WAMP
Sports formed me. I was always decently skilled but lacked size, so I had to resort to using my skil...
ZACH JOHNSON
Discovering L.A., in particular in the early '80s, was pretty spectacular; it was fun and carefr...
ZACH GALLIGAN
I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my fa...
ZACH BRAFF
Because these kids get away from their parents, and they binge drink until they are sick. Dozens of ...
ZACH WAMP
As you get older, you see the world at a different angle, maybe more cynically, but I just bury my a...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
For twenty years, Islamic Jihadists have been attacking American interests around the world and we d...
ZACH WAMP
I don't like cursing in movies. I feel like cursing has become the new hackiness. You try to fin...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
We talked about politics constantly in my family growing up in North Carolina. There were always deb...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
I used to be really cute. I could send you earlier photos where I'm stunning. But I've gaine...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
You know, sometimes if you work - if you do a lot of takes and you work long hours, for me, at least...
ZACH GALIFIANAKIS
Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.
ZACH BRAFF
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
ZACH BRAFF
I don't hit it as far as a lot of guys do, so I have to be in the right spot in the fairway to s...
ZACH JOHNSON
If you put me in the fairway at my average distance into a par 4, 175 to 180 yards, and you put anot...
ZACH JOHNSON
But my mother's a psychologist, my stepfather's a psychologist, my stepmother is a therapist and my ...
ZACH BRAFF
[For the established players, especially the internationals, the airport is an incalculable asset, w...
ZACH JOHNSON
Folks, I don't want my president to leave office with a $10 trillion deficit. I don't want China to ...
ZACH WAMP
We have to move forward,
ZACH WAMP
I don't think anyone expects Mr. Blunt to hold two positions for the next 15 months,
ZACH WAMP
Golf carries with it the comity and goodwill that are very rare in politics,
ZACH WAMP
It was a clear retreat by President Clinton from the comity and cooperation that the two men had, fr...
ZACH WAMP
They're huge shoes to fill ... if people see any similarities, he was a goofy guy who wasn't your st...
ZACH BRAFF
It used to be that you came out of school, and you got married - those who were going to get married...
ZACH BRAFF
I wish I was that important of an actor that that happened. 'Which do you want Zach? Take your pick....
ZACH BRAFF
I'm by no means condemning prescription medicine for mental health. I've seen it save a lot of peopl...
ZACH BRAFF
I said, I'm on this TV show and I love doing it, but I don't want to be known always as the silly "S...
ZACH BRAFF
I really got to put into it [my] own humor,
ZACH BRAFF
I just felt that like an actor it's really hard to get a really good role. I mean a part like this, ...
ZACH BRAFF
I'd love to do more theater in New York City. And I'd love the chance to do a big movie with a great...
ZACH BRAFF
This movie's really about someone who's opening up a new chapter in their life.
ZACH BRAFF
I think Jersey is a character (in the film), and there's a dual meaning with a state of mind - a gar...
ZACH BRAFF
They all saw my short films, and I think that changed their opinion of me as just a guy on a sitcom ...
ZACH BRAFF
I think it's just poise. A lot of senior leadership. We've got a lot of old guys. So I think that fa...
ZACH FREEMAN
Obviously, losing guys like that, that's a pretty good chunk. But I think we're right there.
ZACH ODELL
This is an exciting moment for the CIRM as these awards mark the first step in our scientific progra...
ZACH HALL
It's almost equivalent to doing nothing.
ZACH HALL
Scientists. What will not stop this from happening is government oversight.
ZACH HALL
We want to hit the ground running once the money comes in. Rather than sending out a slow and gradua...
ZACH HALL
We won't be spending the kind of money we would if we could (sell) bonds. But we are going to use th...
ZACH HALL
It's a way of being sure we are ready to move when the money comes in and get our program under way ...
ZACH HALL
This program will be the most comprehensive and broadest program for stem cell research training in ...
ZACH HALL
This is really a historic and important occasion for us.
ZACH HALL
We have a long way to go and a lot of work to do.
ZACH HALL
[As in the fairy tale,] Chicken Little ... The sky is falling.
ZACH BRAFF