Our nation has a regrettable history of drawing down our forces and readiness after each conflict, only to find ourselve ill-prepared for the next great struggle.
Mitch McConnell
Related Arm yourselves, and be ye men of valour, and be in readiness for the conflict; for
it is better for... SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL But 18 years after the passage of the Civil Liberties Act, there still remains unfinished work to co... XAVIER BECERRA Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson? MITCH MCCONNELL The conflict of forces and the struggle of opposing wills are of the essence of our universe and alo... HAVELOCK ELLIS It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean ... STEPHEN COLBERT In a bid for change, we have to take off our coats, be prepared to lose our comfort and security, ou... STEVEN BIKO When you boil war down or all conflict down to two people, it's a great advert for humanity some... JOHN BRADLEY-WEST We are in a struggle against the forces of radical Islam and terror, which must be defeated for our ... MIKE MCCAUL We've made it clear that this is not the start of a major conflict, but certainly our forces are rea... GEOFF HOON Each of us has the strength to face down our demons. The trick is to find it. MATT GANNON Even after two months of waiting, the reunion has not materialized. We find it extremely regrettable... JUNICHIRO KOIZUMI Our men and women in our armed forces are the real heroes in this conflict. WAYNE ALLARD But the greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of... HERBERT BUTTERFIELD But the greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of... HERBERT BUTTERFIELD The decline in the readiness of Iraqi forces described in (the) testimony is a major reversal for th... ANTHONY H. CORDESMAN Clashes of values and the struggle for primacy constitute a constant in human history that accounts ... CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER As I review the great history of our nation, community organizers have been at the center of so many... CORY BOOKER Experience has taught us that we have only one enduring weapon in our struggle against mental illnes... ALICE MILLER Today is Trinity Sunday. Centuries ago words were written to be a call and a spur to the faithful se... SIR WINSTON CHURCHILL The win gets us prepared for our next game and gives us a lot of confidence. JOSH SMITH These fallen heroes represent the character of a nation who has a long history of patriotism and hon... MICHAEL N. CASTLE I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any threat from without,... DOUGLAS MACARTHUR I am concerned for the security of our great Nation; not so much because of any treat from without, ... DOUGLAS MACARTHUR North Carolina, particularly the 8th District, has long played a key role in our Nation's milita... ROBIN HAYES Any loss of life is regrettable, but we will simply not tolerate acts of violence against our multin... JAMES HILL We needed 40 years to overcome East Germany. Sometimes in history, one has to be prepared for the lo... ANGELA MERKEL It is the great sadness of our species that we have not found a way to eliminate the conflict and to... NEALE DONALD WALSCH Because the time has come, well and truly come, for all peoples of our great country, for all citize... KEVIN RUDD It's important for us as the western door of America to be as prepared as we can, to help protect no... DR. CHIYOME FUKINO What we can control is our readiness. DAN QUINN We are here to help each other to try to find a solution for our country, because our Prime Minister... CHAMLONG SRIMUANG Before we get too depressed about the state of our politics, let's remember our history. The great d... BARACK OBAMA I have always said there is only one thing that can bring our nation down - our dependence on foreig... JOHN SALAZAR The history of American democracy, to say the least, has been checkered. Our nation was founded at a... BERNIE SANDERS It may be his way of telling the generals to stop talking about drawing down the forces. DAVID MACK The time down in Florida was more of a training time. This weekend will be an indication of where we... GREG ROY The free and civilized nations of the world have joined hands to press the first great struggle for ... JEAN CHRETIEN Not only is Coach Pearl one of the very best coaches in the nation, but more importantly, he has bec... JOHN PETERSEN There is a long history of conflict between us. The Preventive Security always tries to demean our m... ABU ABIR The brave men and women who have served - and those who continue to serve - our armed forces have se... KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND Pearl Harbor caused our Nation to wholeheartedly commit to winning World War II, changing the course... JOE BACA We are in a dangerous position especially after the cases (reported) in Iraq...and we accept any hel... GEORGE KHOURY Every individual has a role to play for the betterment of our nation. SUNDAY ADELAJA We salute our fans for raising this money throughout our 2005 race season. All this money is raised ... BILL RYAN The price for achieving that kind of readiness in our early deploying units has been to accept risk ... ERIC SHINSEKI We must never forget why we have, and why we need our military. Our armed forces exist solely to ens... ALLEN WEST Relying on our nation and armed forces, we will make the aggressor regret its actions, MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD I think it's a great start. It's an opening for great science from our nation and hopefully for our ... ILAN RAMON God has prepared our victory for us, if only we will praise Him in all circumstances SUNDAY ADELAJA This is an exciting time in the history of Taco Bueno. We are beginning to see the first real growth... JEFF SEEBERGER Certainly our goal is to leave Iraq, but we can't leave Iraq with our forces until we know that ... JOHN ABIZAID How do we know it is really an Iraqi Army rather than a sectarian Army? If it is not an Iraqi army, ... ANDREW BACEVICH We have thousands of people who are getting ill ... our hospitals need to be prepared to take care o... COLETTA BARRETT History is a wheel, for the nature of man is fundamentally unchanging. What has happened before will... GEORGE R.R. MARTIN All treaties between great states cease to be binding when they come in conflict with the struggle f... OTTO VON BISMARCK The latter 1940s and early '50s were a time of tense, explosive conflict, in the world at large ... M. STANTON EVANS Never before in the history of our nation has government permission been required to travel freely i... BILL SCANNELL Heads of state are notoriously ill prepared for their mature careers; think of Adolf Hitler (landsca... BARBARA EHRENREICH Our culture, language, history, and values are vital to uniting us as a nation. BOBBY JINDAL Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinkin... NEILS BOHR Every great and deep difficulty bears in itself its own solution. It forces us to change our thinkin... NIELS BOHR Each experience has taught us something, and each disappointment has only served to reinforce our de... BERTRAND DELANOE Our national debt, after all, is an internal debt, owed not only by the nation but to the nation. If... FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT Only after the last tree has been cut down, only after the last river has ben poisoned, only a... AMERICAN INDIAN PROVERB The rediscovery of this bird is not only a great boost for Arkansas, but for our entire nation, beca... JO GOY If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and suff... HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suf... HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suf... HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW The next generation should embrace their struggles. A butterfly develops only after a struggle to br... AVIJEET DAS Man is a competitive creature, and the seeds of conflict are built deep into our genes. We fought ea... ROBERT WINSTON Our national debt after all is an internal debt owed not only by the Nation but to the Nation. If ou... FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT The other side has not responded to any of our requests regarding the abduction issue, so it is high... SHINZO ABE Our nation must manage significant national security challenges over the next several years. We are ... DUNCAN HUNTER Our nation was created in ways that allow human potential to prosper, and it created the greatest na... RUSH LIMBAUGH It is only individual great forces, which must be pulled together, in our common vision of combating... LAILAH GIFTY AKITA America's history is exemplified in the efforts of the men and women who died for our country. T... BILL FLORES The only legacy I seek is the one that any grandparent seeks - that is, to hand off our nation... ou... SONNY PERDUE Our nation Nigeria CAN & MUST become a great place to live, otherwise we will have to answer to ... FELA DUROTOYE The very next day, we were breaking down film, and started our preparation for our next game against... MATT BALLARD There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is... WILL DURST The conviction of our Ukrainian nation is embedded in the pages of its history. VIKTOR YUSHCHENKO History has taught us over and over again that freedom is not free. When push comes to shove, the ul... TIM PAWLENTY Our nation must manage significant national security challenges over the next several years. We are ... DUNCAN HUNTER As the third anniversary of the September 11th attacks draws near we must ensure our nation is prepa... LEONARD BOSWELL I have always regarded global development as a struggle between the forces of good and evil. Not to ... ALVA MYRDAL The same way one tells a recipe, one tells a family history. Each one of us has our past locked insi... LAURA ESQUIVEL Throughout the history of man, there has been a constant struggle between the forces of light and th... CLANCY BROWN If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man's life sorrow and ... HENRY WADSWORTH LONGFELLOW If we could read the secret history of our enemies, we should find in each man's life sorrow and suf... HW LONGFELLOW All treaties between great states cease to be binding when they come in conflict with the struggle o... OTTO VON BISMARCK I believe that a government has only one religion - India first. A government has only one holy book... NARENDRA MODI The Disarmament Conference has become the focal point of a great struggle between anarchy and world ... ARTHUR HENDERSON The Disarmament Conference has become the focal point of a great struggle between anarchy and world ... ARTHUR HENDERSON Living in your genome is the history of our species. BARRY SCHULER During the Obama years, the Republicans have done an unprecedented amount of stonewalling on cabinet... GAIL COLLINS It's quite exciting. You feel part of history when you see it. It's a very important site. ... We al... AARON RAM Each year, Labor Day gives us an opportunity to recognize the invaluable contributions that working ... THOMAS E. PEREZ This is our history - from the Transcontinental Railroad to the Hoover Dam, to the dredging of our p... CORY BOOKER Our shared conservative values, our belief in the individual is the great hope of our nation. RICK PERRY Look how many of our young are ill prepared to enter adult life today. This was designed by progress... ZIAD K. ABDELNOUR
More Mitch McConnell
I think we need to respect the wishes of voters. They have been busily at work making these decision... MITCH MCCONNELL We did the two-year extension of Bush tax cuts in 2010. We negotiated the Budget Control Act in Augu... MITCH MCCONNELL The border is way more porous than it should be, and I think we'd be open to discussing anything... MITCH MCCONNELL We're living under the Obama economy. Any CEO in America with a record like this after three yea... MITCH MCCONNELL Today, Democrats not only have the White House; they have the Senate too. So we have to be realistic... MITCH MCCONNELL It just doesn't occur to an American that someone else will solve their problems. Americans take... MITCH MCCONNELL Things happen in American politics in the political center. If the President will meet us in the cen... MITCH MCCONNELL I always think a debt ceiling is a good tool to carry something. MITCH MCCONNELL And this year, when we end the cruel, defeatist practice of passing children who cannot read into fo... MITCH MCCONNELL The Senate is allowed to work the way it was designed to - meaning a place where nothing is decided ... MITCH MCCONNELL After adding trillions to the debt on big-government policies most Americans didn't ask for and ... MITCH MCCONNELL In the last 100 years, three presidents suffered big defeats in Congress in their first term and the... MITCH MCCONNELL Almost without exception, President Obama begins serious policy discussions by explaining why everyo... MITCH MCCONNELL President Obama had two Supreme Court nominees in his first term. There was no filibuster against th... MITCH MCCONNELL We hear the stories every day now: the father who puts on a suit every morning and leaves the house ... MITCH MCCONNELL A reporter asked recently, 'What keeps you up at night?' I replied that I generally sleep we... MITCH MCCONNELL We all got here from somewhere else going back in our lineage. And I think these gratuitous attacks ... MITCH MCCONNELL America is about to turn the page on Barack Obama's four-year experiment in big government. MITCH MCCONNELL I think that winning the White House is about more than just entertaining a large audience. MITCH MCCONNELL What will happen is the bills will start out the way we like them; in order to move them - we'll... MITCH MCCONNELL The implication here is that those who came to America legally over the years are somehow second-cla... MITCH MCCONNELL I don't think there should be a litmus test on judges, no matter who the president is. MITCH MCCONNELL Nurses told my mother that I was going to be OK. They thought I could walk without a limp and withou... MITCH MCCONNELL I think I'd like to be an owner of a Major League Baseball team. MITCH MCCONNELL We're not gonna misread our mandate. MITCH MCCONNELL I ran for president of the student council at my high school in Louisville. And ran against a guy wh... MITCH MCCONNELL Mitch McConnell. Wasn't he the bandleader on Johnny Carson? MITCH MCCONNELL are much worse than what Sen. Lott said. MITCH MCCONNELL Elections are breaking out in the strangest places: Afghanistan, Iraq, the Palestinian territories, ... MITCH MCCONNELL I have been one of the Republicans who has been somewhat skeptical about needing witnesses but I mus... MITCH MCCONNELL I hope the president may have concluded that his comments about the legitimacy of the new president ... MITCH MCCONNELL [Proponents -- mostly Democrats -- are threatening to tie up the Senate unless Lott schedules procee... MITCH MCCONNELL [But what about the continuing great economic news under Clinton? Lott offered kudos:] I agree that ... MITCH MCCONNELL Take our word for it. They're disgusting. MITCH MCCONNELL We need to say to everyone on Election Day, 'Those of you who helped make this a good day, you n... MITCH MCCONNELL While other state governments stiff their vendors, close parks, delay tax refunds, and ignore unacce... MITCH MCCONNELL We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, thi... MITCH MCCONNELL Sen. Lott was elected to a two-year term, and he's said he's not going to resign, and in my view he ... MITCH MCCONNELL That's ... a little bit like Bonnie and Clyde declaring the problem could be solved by banking regul... MITCH MCCONNELL I must say in response to this there was stunned silence, so this is clearly not administration poli... MITCH MCCONNELL I mean, we're going to have to pry his hands off the door and search him to get the key back to the ... MITCH MCCONNELL The fact is, if our primary legislative goals are to repeal and replace the health spending bill; to... MITCH MCCONNELL Syria and Iran have always had a pretty tight relationship, and it looks to me like they just cooked... MITCH MCCONNELL By their own admission, leaders of the Republican Revolution of 1994 think their greatest mistake wa... MITCH MCCONNELL We need to strengthen and save Social Security for today's workers. If we don't act now, this system... MITCH MCCONNELL Diplomacy is important, extremely important, and I don't think these reductions at the State Dep... MITCH MCCONNELL NATO is the most important military alliance in world history. MITCH MCCONNELL I'm not going to critique every utterance of the president. MITCH MCCONNELL More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Security benef... MITCH MCCONNELL Americans don't think we should be raising taxes on anybody, especially in the middle of a reces... MITCH MCCONNELL Are we still a country that takes risks, that innovates, that believes anything is possible? Or are ... MITCH MCCONNELL I thought the Pence selection ought to reassure the right-of-center voters that a Trump administrati... MITCH MCCONNELL I want to reassure our NATO allies that if any of them get attacked, we'll be there to defend th... MITCH MCCONNELL as was the courtesy during the Clinton years. MITCH MCCONNELL Americans are too speedy. MITCH MCCONNELL More young people believe they'll see a U.F.O. than that they'll see their own Social Securi... MITCH MCCONNELL It is a president's constitutional right to nominate a Supreme Court justice, and it is the Sena... MITCH MCCONNELL We all know that Social Security is one of this country's greatest success stories in the 20th c... MITCH MCCONNELL Do we need to tighten restrictions on people coming into the country? I think there's a good arg... MITCH MCCONNELL We're a country of five-second sound bites and 30-second commercials. Eight years of one person ... MITCH MCCONNELL If they'd like to run against President Bush, ... I question whether they are smart enough to take o... MITCH MCCONNELL the best plan is changeable MITCH That he said he would make her five-month-old baby disappear if she didn't (sell the home to us), wh... AMY MCCONNELL She said that the state of Michigan would pay for all of our closing costs and five percent down. AMY MCCONNELL She was looking over our information and noticed we paid $700 a month in rent and that we qualified ... AMY MCCONNELL We got our hopes, just smashed. AMY MCCONNELL It's a momentous day for the sport and Winnipeg as well. It's history in the making and to have it c... BRIAN MCCONNELL It?s a little up in the air right now, ... That?s how hockey is though. I can be asked to pack up ag... BRIAN MCCONNELL I?m not really that flashy of a player, ... But I push hard and play defense. BRIAN MCCONNELL I think our customer base likes to support local products. It is a good product, my family uses it. BRIAN MCCONNELL He's one of the most laidback kids I know. I can't even imagine what it's been like for him. He's ob... BRIAN MCCONNELL You start making excuses for yourself that you're getting screwed on calls and things like that. It ... BRIAN MCCONNELL Belmont's has always been an environmentally-friendly business. This is a chance for a state-wide re... BRIAN MCCONNELL Over the life cycle of that airplane, we're absolutely confident we're going to get 50% or more. CLAY MCCONNELL Every piece has its own identity which we develop by the rule 'We know no limits.' We follow... PAGE MCCONNELL Late in the game, when the game is on the line, she plays with a sense of urgency and has the abilit... SUZIE MCCONNELL Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell leaving is not enough; you must stay gone. tra... MARTY MCCONNELL My dad also plays a little banjo and guitar, my mom plays the mandolin. PAGE MCCONNELL Once you opt in, you don't have a lot of control over where your information goes. BETH MCCONNELL We don't think any taxpayer should be in the situation where they could sign away their rights to pr... BETH MCCONNELL The government tells us that we must turn over very private, personal financial information to them ... BETH MCCONNELL This is the sixth derivative of the 747. It's a plane that can be offered out there at a relatively ... CLAY MCCONNELL His name is vaguely familiar. Basically, I agree with everything the New Labour candidate said about... JACK MCCONNELL One of the biggest problems I see are dogs who don't have a lot of emotional control and frustration... PATRICIA MCCONNELL Domestic dogs follow humans like a laser and watch the behavior of their humans with a focus that is... PATRICIA MCCONNELL The Pirates of the Caribbean. THOMAS MCCONNELL He was really likable, always smiling, a very outgoing guy. DICK MCCONNELL Sir Tom is one of today's greatest Scots. JACK MCCONNELL He has just been wonderful to have on board. He just does a fantastic job. BILL MCCONNELL This bill will lead to enormous improvements in our air quality. Massachusetts will get cleaner cars... BROOKE MCCONNELL This is a marathon, not a sprint. CLAY MCCONNELL I like them both. I've never had any bad barbecue. I love barbecue. BOB MCCONNELL This issue, combined with the lack of public input and the problems with informing the public clearl... BOB MCCONNELL We just needed a certain singing range and a certain vocal style (for the role). BILL MCCONNELL They've put scripture from Genesis in each animal on different spots. What they call it is 'God on t... BILL MCCONNELL It is a story about faith, about hope and about animals that talk and how they can change a man's li... BILL MCCONNELL [The] single most common source of changing requirements [is] requirements that were not significant... STEVE MCCONNELL We had to pick our poison: Do we cover the perimeter or inside? They shot the ball extremely well an... TIM MCCONNELL We're really thrilled and honored to have them there, and I think it's an example that we're on the ... CHARLIE MCCONNELL The fact that the board can't demonstrate how and why these figures changed is disappointing. BOB MCCONNELL There was some very generous pricing done on the 777s. The A340 models that we continue to produce a... CLAY MCCONNELL He is so outgoing and positive. He's been a very important part of this. His personality is a great ... CHARLIE MCCONNELL You can't force something like that. But we have encouraged our audience, because we avoid the c... PAGE MCCONNELL We're really glad to see the Russians reach out and work with the international community and get he... BRUCE MCCONNELL We don't think we're out of the woods yet. We may get some ... business inconveniences, headaches, h... BRUCE MCCONNELL We think this can be a very strong part of the new tourism effort. We have the names of Ralph Stanle... CHARLIE MCCONNELL Each of our 900 shows so far was different - maybe that's what makes the fans come back to our g... PAGE MCCONNELL That's why it's better to do it on other people's property. DONALD MCCONNELL There are parks for little children. Why can't teenagers and young adults have a place to go spray-p... DONALD MCCONNELL I'm really sorry. I've already apologized to the business owners and stuff. It was stupid and childi... DONALD MCCONNELL We didn't play as good as we could to win. We should have zoned them from the start. We didn't get i... DICK MCCONNELL We gave away five points right before the half. We knew we couldn't make mistakes like that. DICK MCCONNELL We played really well in overtime. DICK MCCONNELL We played McClintock over the summer and they are very quick and athletic. They're not very big, but... DICK MCCONNELL We played them really well the second time. The first time we played them, they had a shot to win it... DICK MCCONNELL Malcolm was tough at the end, and Adam played well, but we didn't play super. At least we won. I'm h... DICK MCCONNELL I thought we played pretty good. Everyone got in and saw some more time on the court. DICK MCCONNELL When we lost Adam last year, it really took the wind out of our sails for a while. I don't want to l... DICK MCCONNELL Adam gives us a guard who can rebound and is a real tough player. He's a big guard for us and gives ... DICK MCCONNELL The old section looks nothing like it used to. ELAINE MCCONNELL This is truly a place where there is something for everyone. ELAINE MCCONNELL Heuristic is an algorithm in a clown suit. It’s less predictable, it’s more fun, and it comes wi... STEVE MCCONNELL You can't say this plane stops at X number of feet. It depends on a lot of factors. CLAY MCCONNELL There are three gaming centers in Fort Collins, Greeley had none. I thought Greeley was a good place... FRANK MCCONNELL We're open, we're ready for business. FRANK MCCONNELL My biggest goal is to have it be safe and fun. I want people to feel like they can hang out. FRANK MCCONNELL All the guys are starting to hit their stride and I think that was pretty evident in last week's gam... GREG MCCONNELL The USM game was frustrating in that we just couldn't score. GREG MCCONNELL We still have two big regular season games this weekend that we cannot look past before we go into t... GREG MCCONNELL It's very clear, under anyone's scenario, that it's a massive, extensive undertaking regardless of w... JACK MCCONNELL The dairy farmers deserve better from the supermarkets. JACK MCCONNELL If you help make a mess, you have to help clean it up. JACK MCCONNELL It was very exciting when we went into the theater world to hear such good things about our Amanda. JACK MCCONNELL It is appropriate that, rather than getting involved in silly Nationalist arguments, we are effectiv... JACK MCCONNELL For these two individuals, one of whom knows how to make Governments change but the other knows how ... JACK MCCONNELL Do you know how to change the cylinder head gasket on a Mk II Ford Cortina? JACK MCCONNELL I don't trust him. He has wandering eyes! JACK MCCONNELL leaving is not enough; you must stay gone. train your heart like a dog. change the locks<... MARTY MCCONNELL Mirror, mirror on the wall," She caught Beu's gaze in the reflection. "Who's the handsomest man of a... LUCY MCCONNELL It's hard training with two events in mind. I'll be glad to make the decision. It was still a bit ra... LEE MCCONNELL I knew I could build on Sunday's race, LEE MCCONNELL People are taking this storm quite seriously. LEE MCCONNELL We're very pleased with our performance, but the Poles have protested, LEE MCCONNELL But the heat was loaded - the Olympic champion, world champion and European champion were all in it.... LEE MCCONNELL You keep reminding yourself how lucky you are to have this facility. KATHLEEN MCCONNELL This is always a joy. It's a hard time of year, but it's always our favorite time of year. KATHLEEN MCCONNELL It gives the students an opportunity to work with teachers in an entirely different way. KATHLEEN MCCONNELL We have a pretty good lineup. Once we started hitting and scored a lot of runs, I think that helped ... MICKEY MCCONNELL There's a fine line between liberty and protection. And the more protection you try to give people, ... RON MCCONNELL He's well-rounded. He's not only a good basketball player, but he's a great kid as well. TIM MCCONNELL We need a type of patriotism that recognizes the virtues of those who are opposed to us. We must get... FRANCIS JOHN MCCONNELL We humans may be brilliant and we may be special, but we are still connected to the rest of life. No... PATRICIA B. MCCONNELL For us, it's like you just built a new house, and you're leaving a house that never quite fit. And w... PRINCIPAL MARY MCCONNELL I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day. MITCH HEDBERG Dogs are forever in the push up postion. MITCH HEDBERG I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. MITCH HEDBERG I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. MITCH HEDBERG I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was proli... MITCH HEDBERG If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up. MITCH HEDBERG I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. MITCH HEDBERG I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. MITCH HEDBERG People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has... MITCH HEDBERG This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty. MITCH HEDBERG When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away. MITCH HEDBERG All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. MITCH HEDBERG I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that b... MITCH HEDBERG The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a w... MITCH HEDBERG Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Rob... MITCH HEDBERG Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. MITCH HEDBERG A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. MITCH HEDBERG My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, s... MITCH HEDBERG People in the industry foresee a time in which, for many people, the only thing they'll need on ... MITCH KAPOR When business leaders ask me what they can do for Indiana, I always reply: 'Make money. Go make ... MITCH DANIELS I give Bill Gates an A for vision because, as a business person and a strategist, he's brilliant... MITCH KAPOR I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're g... MITCH HEDBERG I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. MITCH HEDBERG My funeral," the Blue Man said. "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came... MITCH ALBOM People come down for baseball or football or hockey and drive by the refurbished Fox and State theat... MITCH ALBOM If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's goi... MITCH ALBOM My jaw dropped, ... I felt shame that I had to find out over the television, then felt sorrow and a ... MITCH ALBOM Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? ... He could be research. A huma... MITCH ALBOM You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean. MITCH ALBOM A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions ... MITCH RATCLIFFE Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a we... MITCH ALBOM You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense o... MITCH ALBOM Now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of th... MITCH ALBOM Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe. MITCH ALBOM You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, y... MITCH ALBOM But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of goin... MITCH ALBOM I drive a beat-up Mercury Cougar, with the windows down and the music up. I seek my identity in toug... MITCH ALBOM So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy do... MITCH ALBOM All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prin... MITCH ALBOM But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Som... MITCH ALBOM Death ends a life, not a relationship. MITCH ALBOM Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring t... MITCH ALBOM The reason kids like rock 'n roll is their parents don't. MITCH MILLER A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possibl... MITCH RATLIFFE Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that MITCH ALBOM Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on ea... MITCH ALBOM People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our econ... MITCH ALBOM