FastSaying

Or, I could just sit in the bushes and pump the hand pump
until the plumbing was superpressurized to 110 psi. This way, when
someone goes to flush a toilet, the toilet tank will explode. At 150 psi, if
someone turns on the shower, the water pressure will blow off the shower
head, strip the threads, blam, the shower head turns into a mortar shell.
Tyler only says this to make me feel better. The truth is I like my boss.
Besides, I'm enlightened now. You know, only Buddha-style behavior.


Chuck Palahniuk

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CHUCK PALAHNIUK My only writing ritual is to shave my head bald between writing the first and second drafts of a boo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK My personal theory is that younger audiences disdain books - not because those readers are dumber th...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK He was the kind of boy any young girl should date while she's still able to recover.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK My secret wish is right now to be romancing this dead girl. A dead girl. Any dead girl. I'm not what...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK One thing I really envy about my friends who have kids is that as their children develop, they'r...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You have no idea what it is like to constantly disappoint people. You see it the moment you meet the...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK I try to forget about the expectation that's out there and the audience listening for the next t...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK In a way, a lot of my humor comes from presenting things that are dramatic or shocking and then peop...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The things you used to own, now they own you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK For me and my entire generation, we took on this kind of sarcastic, ironic, snarkiness because it se...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK No matter how much you think you love somebody, you'll step back when the pool of their blood ed...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Did perpetual happiness in the Garden of Eden maybe get so boring that eating the apple was justifie...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Hysteria is only possible with an audience.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have ...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things th...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vo...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The things you own end up owning you.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depre...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK We just had a near-life experience!
CHUCK PALAHNIUK This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you thei...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you could be God's worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Being tired isn't the same as being rich, but most times it's close enough.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfec...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Masochism is a valuable job skill.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Someone bent on suicide won't have much sense of humor left.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Which is worse: Hell or nothing?
CHUCK PALAHNIUK People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distrac...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sof...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Real discoveries come from chaos.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK The future is just wasted on some people.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You can find fresh pain every time you discover what you pretty much already know.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t
CHUCK PALAHNIUK There’s always the chance you could die right in the middle of your life story
CHUCK PALAHNIUK Us. God's forgotten Science Fair project, left to grow mold. God's goldfish, ignored until we're for...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK As if you cut open a rag doll with a sill name, and found inside:Real intestines, real lungs, a beat...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK You are not special. Your are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK I tell everybody, i'm tired of being jerked around, okay? so lets just not pretend. i don't have fuc...
CHUCK PALAHNIUK