One remedy for the fear of not being loved is to remember how good it feels to love someone. If you're feeling unloved and you want to feel better, go love someone, and see what happens.

Some people habitually respond to a lover’s pain and confusion with an intense desire to fix something. Fix-it messages can feel like invalidation to the person who is trying to express an emotion. “Why don’t you just do this … try that … forget about it … relax!” sends the message that the person expressing the emotion has overlooked some obvious and simple solution and is an idiot for feeling bad in the first place. Such messages are disempowering and invalidating.

A friend of ours, when she trips over some surprisingly intense emotional response, says, philosophically, “Oh well—AFOG,” which stands, she says, for Another Fucking Opportunity for Growth.

GREAT SLUTS are made, not born.

Fighting is the ultimate act of intimacy.
(...) Intimacy is based on shared vulnerability.

Con la
práctica, podemos desarrollar una
intimidad basada en la cordialidad y
respeto mutuo mucho más libre que la
desesperación, necesidad o la locura
ciega de enamorarse