On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at...

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

I think fooseball is a combination of soccer and shishkabobs.

Why are there no during pictures.

It's hard to dance if you just lost your wallet. Whoa! Where's my wallet? But, hey this song is funky...

One time a guy handed me a picture. He said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture is of you when you were younger. 'Here's a picture of me when I'm older.' 'You son of bit**, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera. What's it look like?'