Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

The Marines was a fresh start - that is why they shave your head. I wish they would let you change your name.

Oh, and once, when I was in the Marines, I got a perfect score on my physical fitness test.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

There's a game called Checkout where there's grocery items and it's how much you think the manufacturer's suggested retail price is and we add up your total, then your total has to be within $2 of the regular total. I don't think I could ever win that game.

The people of Cleveland hate soccer. But it's my favourite thing and I follow the U.S. men's national team around when they play whenever I can.