Oh my God. I'm not Keith Richards. I'm Otis from Mayberry! A fucking drunk!


Dave Mustaine

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Im okay Im okay now.
But you really need to listen to me
'cause im telling you the trut...
GERARD WAY
Thank god im not too cool for the safebelt.
KANYE WEST
i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL
Note To Kids: I Never Drunk Alcohol,, Smoked or did Drugs and Im Still Cool..
KALUM JOHNSON (KDOG)
Im not a politician and my other habits are good. Ive no enemys to reward, nor friends to sponge. Bu...
ARTEMUS WARD
Im A Good Friend, But Im A Better Enemy.
DONALD C HALL
Im James Bond. Im Jason Bourne. Im Super-freaking-Mario come to life.
JOHN DAVID ANDERSON
All that I have done will be remembered when I am all said and done.
TRUMAINE M. PRESSLEY
We do not have federated IM. We firmly believe you need a separate channel from any public IM system...
BOB SHIMP
Never felt lyk im alone bcoz my soul always follows me dats wat make me feel im not alone & I"ll nev...
RAKSHAN BHANDARY
Don't run away.
Im not running away. Im already gone.
-Lena and Ethan
KAMI GARCIA
Freiheit ist etwas Maßloses. Im Guten wie im Schlechten.
CARSTEN K. RATH
A Bullet is a man, from time to time he strays, I compare my life to this, To this I relate. And Im ...
CHRIS CORNELL
Im a trackstar running thru life, chasing my dream.
50 CENT
Im not your biggest girly girl.
MAGGIE SIFF
Pop and metal aren't friends. Each knows exactly where the other lives and tries to keep its distanc...
DAVE MUSTAINE
dont read my diary when im gone, ok im going to work now , when you wake up please read my diary, lo...
KURT COBAIN
Im on a roller coaster that only goes up my friend.
JOHN GREEN
revolver under my bed as im pouring liquor out
NOBLE DA GENIUS
Im not looking for perfection, just perfect flaws.
KIERRA C.T. BANKS
Im very nurturing.
TAMARA ECCLESTONE
Im still runnin against the wind
Well Im older now and still
Against the wind
BOB SEGER
Okay.
JOHN GREEN
I love those Keith Richards solo records, but it's not the Rolling Stones.
NIKKI SIXX
The benefits of IM are undeniable for businesses, yet the security risks and challenges are paramoun...
CHRIS SHIPLEY
Im trending therefore I am.
EDWARD SQUIRE
Im Holding onto What i Hope Will Keep You by My side
DALLAS GREEN
I' ve been shot five times but im still breathing living proof there a god if you need a reason.
TUPAC SHAKUR
Some musicians I know are incredible fathers. Like Keith Richards. A fantastic dad.
JACK BRUCE
Think about visual IM (instant messaging).
RON GARRIQUES
Im in the state of Imbroglio
NOBLE DA GENIUS
the sentence im reading is terrific ...
J.D. SALINGER
Im still betting on you. - Cinna.
SUZANNE COLLINS
We've felt for sometime that IM is next big wave. If you claim to offer a total messaging solution, ...
CHRIS CHRISTIANSEN
im still waiting for that kiss when my leg [(P o p s)]*
MEGAN
Today's college graduates take IM in the office for granted. If you protect your email systems but i...
ED GOLOD
Captain Jack Sparrow is like a cross between Keith Richards and Pepe Le Pew.
JOHNNY DEPP
Life is Like a Piano,, and Im Playing Beethoven...
KALUM JOHNSON (KDOG)
There is no longer any excuse for not adopting corporate IM. But businesses should establish policie...
TOM EID
Your words don't match your vibe,
& im trusting my gut this time.
NIKKI ROWE
Today my mouth is bigger than my heart. Sorry seems to be the hardest word. But, I'm sorry. I Love Y...
FEMALE IMAGINATION
When you take your step your dream comes true,you see the sky with fluffy clouds you take your breat...
SELENA GóMEZ
Im looking for a girl who's fun to be around.
ROSS LYNCH
My words control your body and your mind like a symbiot im a phenominon i had to interpose
NOBLE DA GENIUS
Im finally glad to see this move forward,
JIM RICE
Im a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl
BJORK
Beware the Asian Bear!!
MICHAEL IM
IT departments have spent a lot of money on security. They've hardened the castle walls but left the...
ART GILLILAND
One, two, three, Im gon be crazy and free.
NICK
Im proud that Im a politician. A politician is a man who understands government, and it takes a poli...
HARRY S TRUMAN
Sad and lonely cannot be the same, Not if im sad in you're little crowd.
LAWRENCE P. LE BLANC
I always thought I looked kind of like Keith Richards, and sometimes I think I look like Michael Jac...
NATALIE MASSENET
I'm baking an apple pie tonight, and I dont care Mr.Carb.. Im eating it at 10pm with ice cream,. Tak...
NERISSA IRVING
Keith Richards is a man without regret. When I ask him if—given the chance to do it all over again...
CAITLIN MORAN
i's in my writing are never capitalized because in the story of my life im just the supporting chara...
IJIRASHIIJACK
No matter what happens or what you go through im here for you i always will be.No one will keep me f...
NICKOLI LEE ALLEN D'AVANZO
Hail! Thou as victor crowned. [Ger., Heil dir im Siegerkranz.]
B.G. SCHUMACHER
Hackers have discovered IM; it's the new playground for them.
ANDREW LOCHART
You'll never find another like me because im the original.
RACHEL W
Gerechtigkeit gibt es in der Hölle. Im Himmel herrscht Gnade.
JULI ZEH
aliens are living on earth for along time,for those who think im talking about another race youre wr...
RAJA
Im like Captain America.... accept with a better body, smarter and 2 deployments...
NATHAN ELMO MELO
Im going to use you and abuse you a distortion of the truth!
THOMAS WALLACE SCHERZER
Im a soulless lawyer. Give me any opinion and I can argue it.
MEGYN KELLY
(Homer:) Check it out, Erin shaved my head. (Marge:) You are bald! (Homer:) Noooo.. Im young person ...
HOMER SIMPSON
The issue of IM is that it's being used on the public networks. IM is subject to all the same proble...
ANDREW LOCHART
I over analyze situations because Im scared of what may happen if I'm not prepared for it.
TURCOIS OMINEK
Yes Im young,We Belong,Love Is Sung,By the peaceful Song...Listen Please, You'll fall to your knees,...
NOT YER TYPICAL DORK
You can turn off the sun, but im still ganna shine!
JASON MRAZ
try and kick me while im down ill break ur leg
LIL WAYNE
I know Mick Jagger wouldn't tour without Keith Richards and call it the Rolling Stones.
RICHIE SAMBORA
Cool,” I said. “You can IM with the Council from campus. Maybe you can command people to do your...
RICHELLE MEAD
The world is full of monsters with friendly faces.
HEATHER BREWER
i'd rather people hate me for who i am then have them like me for who im not
KURT COBAIN
I pull a lot of the stuff that I play off the rhythm tracks - and Keith Richards has been one of the...
BOBBY KEYS
They're fake bullets, so why do I feel like Im bleeding out?
JODI PICOULT
the difference between me and everyone else is....i know im crazi
NICK HILL
Wenn die Einwände im Vordergrund stehen, rücken die Ideen in den Hintergrund.
CARSTEN K. RATH
I don't know but sometimes I feel that im not a good person in this planet However I like that feeli...
BENJABR, HASSAN
I fucking love my fucking life, and I fucking hope you fucking guys fucking loves your fucking lives...
CADIR LAMPE
I looked at Mick Jagger and Keith Richards and the boys up there thinking, I want to be that.
SAMMY HAGAR
They’re very similar people,” observed Keith Richards. “They’re both very guarded creatures....
JOE HAGAN
when i meet someone new they tell me that im crazy or that i need personal and that im the weirdest ...
DALLY SALAD
»Das Prinzip Moral verstehe ich nicht.«
»Das überrascht mich nicht im geringsten.«
CHRISTOPHER MOORE
Im hoping that shell talk after the ride about her experiences and the foundation a bit.
GABRIELLE MURPHY
Enemy are your friends"... YOOU ARE FUCKING DRUNK... THIS CONCLUSION IS FUCKING WRONG.
DEYTH BANGER
We're the IM generation. They're going to put our screen names on our tombstones.
JUSTIN YOUNG
Kennst du das Land, wo die Zitronen blühn, Im dunklen Laub die Goldorangen glühn.
MAEVE BINCHY
Strange medical news from Pakistan: A man had a successful organ transplant with a dog. They gave th...
CRAIG KILBORN
I'm higher than most places on this island, but Im not going to take a chance of a 150 mph wind blow...
PAT PATTERSON
My doctor said I dont use the same side of the brain everyone else uses. lol.. Im insane laawwwwdd ....
NERISSA IRVING
Im going to Invest in a Turtle shell so i dont have to Watch MY Back. add ME to the Ninja Turtles Li...
KALUM JOHNSON (KDOG)
I got a best time in my freestyle for my relay. This is the first year I've actually done well in fr...
AUSTEN RANDOLPH
Expect me nigga like you'd expect jesus to come back expect me nigga im coming.
TUPAC SHAKUR
Die Hauptfragen im Leben muss man sich selbst beantworten - und beantwortet man sich wirklich selbst...
HEINRICH HEINE
Im 5 ft 1 ½. That bonus ½ is just as important because every little bit matters
JANNA CACHOLA
I realize im black, but id like to be viewed as a person, and that is everybodys wish.
MICHAEL JORDAN
Im more in love with Rock n Roll today than other things. It grows, you know?
BON SCOTT
Im for rules but when rules conflicts humanity i will stand against it at all cost
MICHAEL STRONG
Im waiting, for what, my kind of people, what kind is that, i can tell my kind of people by their fa...
AYN RAND

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I'm so alive.

As I stand facing the beauty of the never-ending Pacific Ocean, a late afte...
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...you're either gonna spend your life fucking pussy, or taking it to church.
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Quantity is what you count, quality is what you count on.
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Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
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DAVE KELLETT
A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple lea...
DAVE MEURER
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should aris...
DAVE BARRY
The future is no place to place your better days.
DAVE MATTHEWS
Nothing can do what a book can do. Lifts you out of your life... to a whole new world, whole new per...
DAVE KELLETT
I was trying to make the web more civil. I was trying to make it more elegant. I got rid of anonymit...
DAVE EGGERS
Gang violence in America is not a sudden problem. It has been a part of urban life for years, offeri...
DAVE REICHERT
It's all very boring to say that we get along great and all that and sometimes we mock up come a...
DAVE EDMUNDS
To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.
DAVE BARRY
American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, includi...
DAVE BARRY
Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television witho...
DAVE BARRY
In terms of personalities - I don't care about the personalities, I want leadership that's i...
DAVE BRAT
I became a war hero before going on to critical acclaim as a professional victim.
DAVE PELZER
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.
DAVE BARRY
When you please others in hopes of being accepted, you lose you self-worth in the process.
DAVE PELZER
Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who re...
DAVE BARRY
I work 338 days a year, 16 hours a day.
DAVE PELZER
At a family's most difficult time, I want to make sure at a minimum that they have the very basi...
DAVE REICHERT
It's tough to go to sleep at night, and I wake up after five hours because I feel like I'm w...
DAVE GROHL
I taught myself how to play the guitar, I taught myself how to play the drums, and I kind of fake do...
DAVE GROHL
There's poetry in being the band that can sell out Wembley but also makes a record in a garage. ...
DAVE GROHL
My mother was a public school teacher in Virginia, and we didn't have any money, we just survive...
DAVE GROHL
Through Kurt I saw the beauty of minimalism and the importance of music that's stripped down.
DAVE GROHL
Singing into a microphone and learning to play an instrument - learning to do your craft - that'...
DAVE GROHL
My songwriting is like extending a hand to the listener.
DAVE GROHL