Oh." He sat in confused silence for a few seconds. "Can I ask you a very serious question?" "I rather you didn't," I said. He stared straight into my eyes. "If you were an animal, what animal would you be?" WAIT, WHAT? "Wait, what?" "It's a classic icebreaker." "If I were an ANIMAL...?" He faked a sigh and checked an imaginary watch. "Your inability to answer the question doesn't bode well for-" "I refuse to answer that," I said. "On the grounds that it's probably the stupidest thing I've ever been asked." He stared at me, frowning. "I hear your subconscious saying MONKEY.