Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it's only Thursday.


Anonymous

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The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.
LENNY BRUCE
The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter
LENNY BRUCE
If a Thursday can't do good on a Thursday, it would be interesting to see how much good a Friday can...
APURVA GAGLANI
We want that Friday effect spread Monday through Thursday.
KATHLEEN KELLEY
He led us in scoring on Thursday and in rebounding Friday.
LARRY KLUKAS
We'll be selling homemade chicken Thursday and Friday with Jacob's Famous Sauce.
JACOB JENKINS
Even though its anonymous, it's still ominous,
DANIEL SOLOVE
Carpet on Tuesday, freight on Wednesday, Cars on Thursday and open on Friday.
MARTY BEECHAM
We knew that a hurricane might be coming Thursday or Friday, and that Saturday we knew it was coming...
MARY REED
I am breathing deep. There's nothing quite like carrying a bag of goodies up to northern Maine ... a...
JEFF WITHERLY
It felt all right (Thursday), but it felt terrible (Friday). Hopefully I won't be out long.
DAVID HARRISON
It kind of throws things off. You're used to your regular sequence of events, and this messes everyt...
DAVE ADAMS
It messes with your schedule a little bit,
ADAM NELSON
Wind chills are probably going to be in the teens by the evening Thursday and possibly wind chills i...
DANNY MERCER
Japanese horror is different. It messes with your head.
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
I'm nothing but envious that you've been happily married for two years. Try hauling your cookies on ...
JANE GREEN
Cristiano has had a difficult few days but he's okay for Saturday, ... He trained on Thursday and Fr...
FERGIE
For a guy that came in and practiced Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and really didn't take any sna...
JIM MORA
Thursday and Friday, we really pick the plan up. He threw a little bit (Wednesday). His arm is not t...
JEFF FISHER
Binge drinking is going on about three days, usually a Thursday, Friday, Saturday night and going fo...
CARY COOPER
We're seeing a technical reaction to yesterday's sell-off. But, I think we'll be seeing more selling...
ROLF ELGETI
It's easy, its international and it can be fairly anonymous.
ANDY FISHER
If you feel like the beginning of your history is rooted in slavery, that really, I think, messes wi...
DAVID OYELOWO
Anytime you're away from your home filming, it messes with your head.
JENNIFER LAWRENCE
We are skipping Friday this week, but we’ll make up for it by having Double Friday next week. Mark...
JOSEPH FINK
Happiness is realizing that nothing is too important.
ANTONIO GALA
Coastal Texans should not wait until late Thursday or early Friday to leave. Homes and businesses ca...
RICK PERRY
This happened every year I've coached in this game. By Thursday or Friday they get a little cranky a...
MIKE HOLMGREN
If there were kids out with it starting last Thursday, I would hope that by Friday something would h...
LAURA BERG
Friday: The day after Thursday and before Saturday according to Rebecca Black. Also the most annoyin...
AARON PECKHAM
If we play Friday, then everything works out OK. If we have to play Thursday, we'll be put at a huge...
AL SKINNER
He (Quintana) only gave up one earned run. Tomorrow's game (Friday) will be tough.
LEROY GONZALEZ
The dollar will trade with a downward bias. The market is pricing in an ECB rate hike Thursday and s...
DAVE GILMORE
Temperatures in the Northeast will be below normal for the next seven to eight days. The coldest day...
JOEL BURGIO
A person who messes up her goodbyes shouldn't expect much from her reunions.
MILAN KUNDERA
Being on the West Coast, that time difference messes up my media game.
JOEY GRAHAM
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them b...
SIR WILLIAM BRAGG
God runs electromagnetics by wave theory on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and the Devil runs them b...
WILLIAM BRAGG SR.
There were wrong calculations in shares that were split over the weekend (Thursday and Friday) which...
ABDULAZIZ ALZOOM
I do doubles on Monday and Thursday, take Wednesday off or do easy cardio, do doubles on Thursday an...
MIKAELA SHIFFRIN
That (depth) is what I'm gearing up for Thursday. It'll be very close on Thursday.
JULIE JOHNSTON
Just because your trained for something doesn't mean your prepared for it. -Anonymous.
ANONYMOUS
I always give 100% at work! 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday and 5% ...
ANONYMOUS
Wagner was a monster. He was anti-Semitic on Mondays and vegetarian on Tuesdays. On Wednesday he was...
TONY PALMER
The real huge crews are setup and cleanup. Setup takes 20 people on Thursday and Friday. They each g...
DON BOWES
The ultimate goal of therapy... it's too hard a question. The words come to me like tranquility,...
IRVIN D. YALOM
Nothing is signed, but it looks like we're very close to terms and hopefully we'll have something to...
MARTY HURNEY
The city thought it would be in good interest to assist with the parking problems in the downtown ar...
SCOTT AARONSON
When you have these fluctuations in temperatures and heavy rainfalls, it really messes the farmer up...
CHARLIE REID
Nothing is hard like waiting around for something you know might never happen; but its harder to giv...
GUNDO MULAUDZI
Seeing Anonymous primarily as a cybersecurity threat is like analyzing the breadth of the antiwar mo...
YOCHAI BENKLER
Giving up is equivalent to enjoying the best sexual experience of your lifetime at 16... And realizi...
WILSON J. WASHINGTON III
Even though its anonymous, it's still ominous. It troubles me because it does show this movement tow...
DANIEL SOLOVE
There is something very freeing about being anonymous because nothing is expected of you; nothing is...
DOLLY WELLS
When the world turns its back on you, you feel pretty stupid realizing it took almost 7 billion peop...
DEDRICK D. L. PITTER
It takes about 48 hours to run its course, so we'll probably have a few more missing (Thursday), too...
GUY MORRISS
When some one messes up dont give them too much rope because people tend to get creative.
ANDONI GARCIA
I'm just fiercely protective. It's like, that's my lair and nobody messes with my lair.
WHITNEY HOUSTON
I work out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday; take Thursday off; then I work out Friday and Saturday. So so...
MARK WAHLBERG
You know you are capitalism’s ideal puppet (and that education betrayed you) when winning the lott...
MOKOKOMA MOKHONOANA
And many of them have fallen for the 'high-tech superstition' without realizing its superstitious na...
XU XIUYU
Peoria, Connecticut, Atlanta, ... I've got the Big East tournament on Thursday, the ACC on Friday, t...
BERNIE BICKERSTAFF
Retail sales are expected to be down, but worry about Producer Price Index and Consumer Price Index ...
CHRIS LOW
The Russian government not only acted corruptly, not only built up a new oligarchy of billionaires o...
JEFFREY SACHS
You're going to change as you grow older, and that messes up a lot of relationships.
OLIVIA WILDE
I swung after they took me out (Thursday), ... I just wanted to make sure I could tell (manager) Mik...
VLADIMIR GUERRERO
in life you can only truly grasp one thing at a time its up to you what deserves your attention firs...
JOHN DALE PITTMAN
When you’re anonymous, other opinions shrink next to the sounds in your own head.
DAN GROAT
Self-respect can be a extension of your ego or a priceless virtue. -Anonymous.
ANONYMOUS
The most acute social priority is for individuals to clean up their own mental and emotional messes....
DOC CHILDRE
I learned how to lend money by cleaning up the messes of others who had made loans before me.
JOHN STUMPF
Only passion will lead you towards your destination. Nothing more, nothing less and nothing else.
LALIT BHOJWANI
Maturing is realizing how many things don't require your comment.
RACHEL WOLCHIN
The inevitable Death permits only Knowledge as its companion and nothing else!
ROOPA
He always gets us ready to play. He's great in these big games. I'm sure he'll have something for us...
JOE STELLMACHER
It seared its way into the souls of New Zealanders in a way nothing else could,
GEOFFREY PALMER
Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday.
ANONYMOUS
Some teams will have to clean up old messes, but frankly, once that's done we shouldn't be losing mo...
CRAIG LEIPOLD
Win or lose Friday, he's shown that nothing really fazes him. That's why he's in the rotation. The w...
JORGE POSADA
Win or lose Friday, he's shown that nothing really fazes him, ... That's why he's in the rotation. T...
JORGE POSADA
I didn't talk to Eddie at all about it. I injured my neck on Thursday doing weights but it probably ...
ANDREW JOHNS
[Several school districts, including Houston ISD, said they would close Thursday and Friday.] We don...
TERRY ABBOTT
We're leaving on Wednesday, so that gives us all day Thursday to go to practice and sit around. By t...
WENDEE SAINTSING
The variety of training is a major selling point of triathlon. Different sports, different venues me...
JONATHAN BROWNLEE
Meditation is realizing and expanding your inner beauty in every direction.
AMIT RAY
You live your life without realizing these things until you take yourself away from the usual stuff,...
COREY M.P.
We're looking to get going, ... We're looking at the big picture. Oakland is going after its 10th st...
DEREK LOWE
Stop treating your vagina like a weird purse; only wearing it on special occasions and just randomly...
BRANDI KEELER
This animal grows like crazy, investing nothing in its shell,
CHARLES PETERSON
This animal grows like crazy, investing nothing in its shell.
CHARLES PETERSON
They took advantage of a good face-off. We're not the type of team that wants to get in a shootout. ...
BRAD RYAN
Remembering now all those farewells (fake farewells, worked-up farewells), Irena thinks: a person wh...
MILAN KUNDERA
You're alive only once, as far as we know, and what could be worse than getting to the end of your l...
EDWARD ALBEE
I can't stand the fall because it messes up my sleep pattern, and it takes me a month to get over.
CHARLES MATHIS
It makes me nervous because I'm the new person, and I don't want to be the one who messes things up.
JENELLE HERRIN
There is nothing stable in the world; uproar's your only music.
JOHN KEATS
Smiles well up like bubbles under water and slip across your mouth without you realising its happeni...
CHLOE THURLOW
Calling on you to give up control of the outer world and gladly accept control of your inner relatio...
DEBBIE FORD
I have received hostile voice mail messages and e-mails. They are often anonymous, I'm sad to sa...
BEN BRANTLEY
Friday afternoon we had sold only about 100 tickets but we ended up with over 250 people in attendan...
BETTY HARRISON

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Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
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Glory be to Him who changes others and remains Himself unchanged!
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Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone one who loves is born of God an...
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May the God who gives endurance and encouragement
give you a spirit of unity among yourselves ...
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Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
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Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
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Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
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Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
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Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
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It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
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He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
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All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
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A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
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A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
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Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
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The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
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Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
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An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
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Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
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Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
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Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Canaveral.
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Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
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Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
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Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
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Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
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Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
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Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
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A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
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Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
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She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
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many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
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Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
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When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
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It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
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Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
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Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
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Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
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Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
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Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
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Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
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Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
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Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
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Happiness is not given but exchanged.
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Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
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If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
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Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
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So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
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Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
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Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
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Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
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Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
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Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
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Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
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To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
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My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
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The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
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Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
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Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
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When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
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The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
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Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
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A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
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When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
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Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
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Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
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I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
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تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
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The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
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Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
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And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
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Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
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Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
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I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
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Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
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Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
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If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
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Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
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I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
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My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
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If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
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Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
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It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
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One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
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The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
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In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
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How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
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For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
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Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
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I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
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Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
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If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
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The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
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Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
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Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
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Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
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Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
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My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
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Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
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Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
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When there's a will, I want to be in it.
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Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
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When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
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As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
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When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
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Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
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What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
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I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
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Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
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I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
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Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
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Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
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Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
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I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
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My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
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Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
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I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
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People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS
I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
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I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
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Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:

Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
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Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
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He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
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I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
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I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
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Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
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Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
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It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
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Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
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Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
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Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
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I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
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How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
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My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
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Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
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What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
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I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
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There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
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I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
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How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
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Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
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Smile while you still have teeth.
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Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
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After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
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Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
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I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
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I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
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True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
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Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
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Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
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Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
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Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
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Never judge a book by it's movie
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I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
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When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
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Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
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If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
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My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
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I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
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Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
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I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
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Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
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Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
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Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
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I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
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A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
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I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
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Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
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Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
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Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
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I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
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The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
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I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
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The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
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Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
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I can't wait for that to never happen.
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I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
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Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
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Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
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Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
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I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS
Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
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Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
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An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
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My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
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Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
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You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
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Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
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It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
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If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
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Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
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