No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as the dog does.

The secret of architectural excellence is to translate the proportions of a dachshund into bricks, mortar and marble.

If we stay with animal analogies for a moment, owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are god. (Cats may sometimes share the cold entrails of a kill with you, but this is just what a god might do if he was in a good mood.)

When you sell a man a book, you don't sell him 12 ounces of paper and ink and glue - you sell him a whole new life.

There is only one rule for being a good talker - learn to listen.

Only the sinner has the right to preach.