No hables nunca de lo que no te importe, si no, oirás cosas que no te gusten.
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No importa si no te entienden, lo que importa es que tengas el valor de decirlo.
JACKSON PEARCE Quiero que [mi hijo] conozca el secreto de la felicidad, algo tan sencillo que da la impresión de q...
JAMES RHODES No necesitas la religión para tener moral. Si no puedes diferenciar lo que está bien de lo que est...
IGNACIO NOVO —¿Qué más? Ella es tan hermosa. No te cansas de verla. Nunca te preocupas si es más inteligent...
JOHN GREEN He estado haciendo una lista de las cosas que no te enseñan en la escuela. Ellos no te enseñan có...
NEIL GAIMAN ¿Qué más? Es preciosa. No te cansas de mirarla. No tienes que preocuparte de si es más inteligen...
JOHN GREEN Te dicen que fue algo fortuito para que no te culpes. Pero lo único que oigo es a ellos diciéndome...
KATJA MILLAY Lo que me dijiste no cambió mi manera de pensar y te repito que me encantaría ser el compañero de...
LAURA ESQUIVEL El pasado siempre tiene importancia. No hay que olvidar las cosas que hiciste en el pasado, porque s...
CASSANDRA CLARE Es preciosa. No te cansas de mirarla. No tienes que preocuparte de si es más inteligente que tú, p...
JOHN GREEN Nunca dejes que la moral te impida dejar de hacer lo que está bien
ISAAC ASIMOV —Tal vez siempre has sido sabio —dijo Jace—. Recuerdo que cuando te pregunté si querías ser ...
CASSANDRA CLARE Los buenos profesores no tiene precio. Te inspiran, te entretienen y acabas aprendiendo más de lo q...
NICHOLAS SPARKS Si Ryle en verdad te amara, no permitiría que lo aceptarás de nuevo. Tomaría la decisión de deja...
COLLEEN HOOVER Lo que mucha gente llama amar consiste en elegir una mujer y casarse con ella. La eligen, te lo juro...
JULIO CORTáZAR …debes darte cuenta de que nos hemos pasado la vida desde pequeños respondiendo a la pregunta ‘...
ALBERT ESPINOSA Por favor, no te enfades conmigo los días en que no te reconozca. Los dos sabemos que llegarán. Pi...
NICHOLAS SPARKS -Todo lo que he hecho en este año de la expiación ha terminado por dejar atrás sólo cenizas. As�...
PATRICK GLEASON Creo que lo que importas esta determinado por las cosas que te importan a ti. Importas tanto como la...
JOHN GREEN Sabrás que no te amo y que te amo
puesto que de dos modos es la vida,
la palabra es un al...
PABLO NERUDA No te vendas, no te alquiles. Sé un alma libre y vela por lo justo. Es mucho mejor pasar hambre que...
BENITO TAIBO Querer es siempre más valioso que que te quieran…querer mueve y detiene mundos. Que te quieran si...
ALBERT ESPINOSA Lo bueno de ser inmortal es que no puedes beber literalmente hasta caerte muerto, como lo hacen los ...
CATE TIERNAN —¿Y qué ocurre cuando uno muere?
—Tampoco yo lo sé.
—Entonces, ¿por qué tener m...
MATTHEW DICKS -Me has dicho que no dura, que desear ser feliz nunca dura. Así que lo que me haría sentir complet...
JACKSON PEARCE -Si vas por ahí sonriendo a todo el mundo, ¿cómo se supone que debo sentirme cuando me sonríes a...
RAINBOW ROWELL No puedes pretender que quien te ama te trate a ti menos cruelmente de lo que se trata a sí mismo. ...
HANNAH ARENDT Toma de la vida todo lo que te dé, sea lo que sea, siempre que te interese y te pueda dar cierto pl...
DIEGO RIVERA Planearlo, supongo. No lo sé. Las cosas nunca son como esperamos que sean.
JOHN GREEN No importa que hoy no sea como quieras, mañana lo será y te importará
ED HERNANDEZ No te amo como si fueras rosa de sal, topacio
o flecha de claveles que propagan el fuego:
PABLO NERUDA Si miramos el fuego es porque parpadea, porque resplandece. Lo que atrae nuestra mirada es la luz, p...
PATRICK ROTHFUSS Si quieres que tus deseos duren, tienes que pedir algo que te haga feliz y no la felicidad.
JACKSON PEARCE No puedo creer que no quisieras que te encontrara.
JOHN GREEN No puedo resistirme a ti —dijo Alex con suavidad. —¿Lo sabes, no? Y ya me he cansado de fingir ...
SUSAN ELIZABETH PHILLIPS Quizás aun no te comprenda. Pero, con un poco de tiempo, llegaré a entenderte. Y no habrá nadie e...
HARUKI MURAKAMI Realmente no lo entiendes, ¿verdad?. No quiero tener todo lo que deseo. Nadie lo quiere, no de verd...
NEIL GAIMAN El día en que te conoci, es un día que nunca jamas olvidare, ya que fue escrito por amor en mi cor...
PHILIP T.M El "pero" es la palabra más puta que conozco -. "te quiero, pero..."; "podría ser, pero..."; "no e...
EDUARDO SACHERI Yo ya no sé que escribir... Es mi forma de saber que ya te olvidé
J. PORCUPINE No hay pecas suficientes para todos los «te quiero» que siento cada vez que te miro. Treinta y tre...
ALICE KELLEN —Colibrí —susurró él—. Será mejor que se vaya. Si no lo hace, terminaré comprometiéndola...
LISA KLEYPAS Y luego el patecal ése, que no te pudo salvar con sus medicinas, aunque tú ni las necesitabas, pue...
CARLOS FUENTES Si los hombres supiesen lo que es la muerte ya no le tendrían miedo. y si ya no le tuvieran miedo, ...
MICHAEL ENDE Te cuento lo que no me gusta: desde aquí no se ve el óxido, la pintura cayéndose y todo eso, pero...
JOHN GREEN Si pudiera descubrir porqué se encasillan, podría averiguar por qué yo no lo hago, por qué me he...
JACKSON PEARCE ¿Ha estado alguna vez enamorado? Horrible, ¿no? Te hace tan vulnerable. Te abre el pecho y el cora...
NEIL GAIMAN Sólo en tu corazón está "tu propio bien".
Muchos de los consejeros son fanáticos del auto-e...
VIOLET FLORENCE MARTIN Mi amigo M dice que lo irónico de ser un zombie es que todo tiene gracia, pero no puedes sonreír p...
ISAAC MARION Yo no sé si os habréis dado cuenta, pero a menudo las primeras impresiones son absolutamente equiv...
LEMONY SNICKET No repases tanto, Lobsang, que así se te atasca la memoria. Tienes que estar absolutamente tranquil...
TUESDAY LOBSANG RAMPA ¿Sabes lo mas divertido? Lo que es para partirse de risa? Que no es verdad, que ni siquiera lo quie...
LEV GROSSMAN - El amor debe ser algo que te haga perder la razón -susurró-. Algo que te ate para siempre a unos...
ÁNGELES IBIRIKA No permitas que ninguno de ellos te diga quién eres. Eres la llama que no puede ser apagada. Eres l...
CASSANDRA CLARE ... es que es imposible ser una persona rota o completa. No eres más que una persona. Sólo puedes ...
JACKSON PEARCE ¿Sabes por qué te quiero? No sabía que estaba perdido hasta que me encontraste. No sabía lo solo...
JAMIE MCGUIRE Me dan miedo los gatos blancos porque son igual de malos que los gatos negros, pero no hay manera de...
CHUS FERNáNDEZ —No, la próxima vez que te bese durará un largo, largo tiempo. Y cuando lo hayamos hecho compren...
SIMONE ELKELES —Llegará un día en que todos nosotros estaremos muertos —dije—. Todos nosotros. Llegará un ...
JOHN GREEN Creo que si alguna vez tengo hijos y están disgustados, no les diré que la gente se muere de hambr...
STEPHEN CHBOSKY Gus, mi amor, no puedo decirte lo agradecida que estoy por nuestro pequeño infinito.Yo no lo cambia...
JOHN GREEN Por muy lejos que te vayas, nunca podrás huir de ti mismo.
NEIL GAIMAN Aprietas los dientes. Miras al techo. Te dices a ti misma que si te ven llorando, sufrirán, y solo ...
JOHN GREEN Realmente no lo entiendes, ¿verdad? —repuso—. No quiero tener todo lo que deseo. Nadie lo quier...
NEIL GAIMAN Es como saber que eres el centro, lo único que él ve, que solo te ve a ti. Y eso es tan tierno y e...
NORA ROBERTS No llores eternamente una pérdida. Todo lo que se pierde vuelve en otra forma. La vida no te arreba...
IGNACIO NOVO Algunas cosas las olvidas, no? Olvidas lo que quieres recordar y recuerdas lo que quieres olvidar.
CORMAC MCCARTHY Pero el sufrimiento pasa. Si la vida, que es todo, pasa, por qué no han de pasar el amor y el dolor...
FERNANDO SAVATER «No es que te esté dando órdenes, sino que quiero probar la sinceridad de tu amor en comparación...
NICHOLAS SPARKS —En París, es común reconocer a alguien atractivo. El francés no desvía la mirada como otras c...
STEPHANIE PERKINS Yo supe en el momento en que te conocí que había algo en ti que yo necesitaba. Resultó que no era...
JAMIE MCGUIRE Yo supe en el momento en que te conocí que había algo en ti que yo necesitaba. Resultó que no era...
JAMIE MCGUIRE Si sólo te concentras en tener seguidores no te olvides de seguir produciendo contenidos.
CRISTO LEON -Hay tres preguntas que toda mujer debe ser capaz de responder afirmativamente antes de comprometers...
COLLEEN HOOVER Creo que admiramos con lo de admirable que hay en nosotros y nunca he tropezado con nadie verdaderam...
FERNANDO SAVATER Ni siquiera puedo respirar cuando no estamos juntos —susurró ella—. Y eso significa que, cuando...
RAINBOW ROWELL El amor más hermoso es un cálculo equivocado, una excepción que confirma la regla, aquello para l...
FEDERICO MOCCIA Estar enamorado es lo más maravilloso y lo más terrible que te puede suceder. Sabes que has encont...
KIERA CASS —Sé que el Señor tiene un propósito para cada uno de nosotros, pero a veces no consigo entender...
NICHOLAS SPARKS Así pues, ¿qué deseo? ¿Algo que no sé si quiero? ¿A alguien que no sé si me conviene? ¿A alg...
STEPHANIE PERKINS A veces, lees un libro y te llena con este fervor evangélico raro, y te convences de que el mundo d...
JOHN GREEN Era crédula, aunque lo negara, seguía creyendo en cuentos de hadas, por más que la vida trataba d...
MARIANA VIOLANTE Cómo me gustaría poder retroceder al año pasado y empezar de nuevo. La vida no te permite hacer e...
SIMONE ELKELES Nuestra muerte ilumina nuestra vida. Si nuestra muerte carece de sentido, tampoco lo tuvo nuestra vi...
OCTAVIO PAZ Te amo sin saber cómo, ni cuándo, ni de dónde,
te amo directamente sin problemas ni orgullo...
PABLO NERUDA Algunas personas proponen: «Dales a los clientes lo que quieren». Pero esa no es mi postura. Nuest...
WALTER ISAACSON Hacía tiempo que había aprendido a gozar de las cosas sencillas, cosas que no se podían comprar.
NICHOLAS SPARKS Porque en los momentos mas tristes hay alguien que llora contigo, sufre porque tu sufres, te entiend...
DULCE MARíA El que tiene fe en sí mismo no necesita que los demás crean en él.
MIGUEL DE UNAMUNO El universo conspira a favor de los que lo mueven. Y ésos son los que lo paran. ¿Tú quieres mover...
ALBERT ESPINOSA Que haya otros que estén en desacuerdo con nosotros (que no tomen en cuenta lo que hacemos sino lo ...
ZYGMUNT BAUMAN Uno siempre responde con su vida entera a las preguntas mas importantes. No importa lo que diga, no ...
SáNDOR MáRAI Si crees que hay algo que cambiarías en mi forma de ser y dices que me quieres... no puedo decir qu...
CARLOS J. CUEVAS Y la moraleja de esta historia es que no recuerdas lo que pasó. Lo que recuerdas se convierte en lo...
JOHN GREEN ¿Te encuentras bien? Tu barco está a punto de undirse. Todavía no has pedido socorro? Has abusado...
YUKIO MISHIMA No te vayas por un minuto, bienamada,
porque en ese minuto te habrás ido tan lejos
que yo...
PABLO NERUDA Ya en el escaparate de la librería localizaste la portada con el título que buscabas. Siguiendo es...
ITALO CALVINO Soñar no te va a servir de nada si olvidas vivir.
J.K. ROWLING —¿Nunca has parado el mundo?
—¿Qué es parar el mundo?
—Parar el mundo es decidir ...
ALBERT ESPINOSA Me pregunto si la gente se da cuenta de lo pequeño y cerrado que es el mundo en el que vivimos. Pod...
MARIAM PARRA
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Animals are human just like us in a different shape and form so do not abuse them.
ANONYMOUS ANONYMOUS You don't have to touch someone to love them, It's not in the kiss, It's in the times you don't kiss...
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ANONYMOUS Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them.
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ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what y...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo...
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
ANONYMOUS It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man.
ANONYMOUS He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job.
ANONYMOUS All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult.
ANONYMOUS A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do yo...
ANONYMOUS A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it.
ANONYMOUS Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases.
ANONYMOUS Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...b...
ANONYMOUS Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her o...
ANONYMOUS Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse's family d...
ANONYMOUS The most expensive wedding usually ends with the quickest divorce.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
ANONYMOUS Leadership is the ability to hide your panic from others.
ANONYMOUS An expert knows all the answers -- if you ask the right questions.
ANONYMOUS Time cuts down all, Both great and small.
ANONYMOUS Few cases of eyestrain have been developed by looking on the bright side of things.
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ANONYMOUS Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell. •Anonymous Many an o...
ANONYMOUS Some of the smallest situations are the biggest to some people.
ANONYMOUS Man endures pain as an undeserved punishment; woman accepts it as a natural heritage.
ANONYMOUS Defeat may test you; it need not stop you. If at first you don't succeed, try another way. For eve...
ANONYMOUS Anarchy - it's not the law, it's just a good idea.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
ANONYMOUS A friend is one to whom you can pour out the contents of your heart, chaff and grain alike. Knowin...
ANONYMOUS Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and u...
ANONYMOUS She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.
ANONYMOUS many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. charm is deceptive, beauty is fleeting; but a ...
ANONYMOUS Lady Wisdom will be your close friend; and Brother Knowledge will be your pleasant companion.
ANONYMOUS When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
ANONYMOUS It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is in the heart, not in the circumstances.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is possible only when one is busy. The body must toil, the mind must be occupied, and the ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like jam. You can't spread even a little without getting some on yourself.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the overcoming of not unknown obstacles toward a known goal.
ANONYMOUS Happiness seems to be the result of something happening — inactivity is not very exhilarating.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not pleasure, it's victory.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is the art of never holding in your mind the memory of any unpleasant thing that has passe...
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not given but exchanged.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude. It comes f...
ANONYMOUS If happiness could be brought, few of us could pay the price.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is like a butterfly. The more you chase it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your a...
ANONYMOUS So live that your memories will be part of your happiness.
ANONYMOUS Happiness consists in activity; such as the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and ...
ANONYMOUS Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
ANONYMOUS Happiness is not always measured in smiles.
ANONYMOUS Happiness lies in our own backyard, but it's probably well hidden by crabgrass.
ANONYMOUS Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open.
ANONYMOUS The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.
ANONYMOUS Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle ...
ANONYMOUS Faith is like electricity. You can't see it, but you can see the light.
ANONYMOUS To reprove small faults within due vehemence, is as absurd as if a man should take a great hammer to...
ANONYMOUS My friend, why have you drifted so far away? All motion is relative, maybe it is you who have moved ...
ANONYMOUS The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pa...
ANONYMOUS Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog.
ANONYMOUS Remember that the faith that moves mountains always carries a pick.
ANONYMOUS When you laugh, be sure to laugh at what people do and not at what people are.
ANONYMOUS The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon - but it's echo lasts a great deal longer.
ANONYMOUS Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding i...
ANONYMOUS A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
ANONYMOUS When life throws a lemon at you, you throw it straight back at life and miss completely. That's my l...
ANONYMOUS Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.
ANONYMOUS Aging is a matter of mind. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
ANONYMOUS I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, ...
ANONYMOUS تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة، وأمرك بالمعروف صدقة ونهيك عن ال...
ANONYMOUS The first men to be created and formed were called the Sorcerer of Fatal Laughter, the Sorcerer of N...
ANONYMOUS Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you...
ANONYMOUS And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
ANONYMOUS Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for ...
ANONYMOUS Anyone who is having troubles should pray. Anyone who is happy should sing praises. Anyone who is si...
ANONYMOUS I don't mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.
ANONYMOUS Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us.
ANONYMOUS Store front sign: Entire store on sale, everything $1 or more.
ANONYMOUS If there is a "WILL", there are 500 relatives.
ANONYMOUS Why didn't Bruce Willis play the lead role in Titanic? He would have saved everyone.
ANONYMOUS I'm looking to buy a new boomerang, how can I throw the old one out?
ANONYMOUS My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!
ANONYMOUS If you can't find your better half, try finding your better two quarters.
ANONYMOUS Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.
ANONYMOUS It's easy to stop smoking. I stopped smoking today with no problems. I also stopped yesterday too,...
ANONYMOUS One day my wife's credit card got stolen.. what a relief it was to find that the thief spends less t...
ANONYMOUS The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
ANONYMOUS In my house dirty dishes are like rabbits, they keep multiplying.
ANONYMOUS How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
Put a little boogy in it!
ANONYMOUS For you, I would swim across the ocean. LOL, just kidding, there are sharks in there.
ANONYMOUS Why does Chuck Norris' calendar go directly from March 31 to April 2nd? Nobody fools Chuck Norris!
ANONYMOUS I am on a 20 day diet, so far I've lost 10 days.
ANONYMOUS Stop the earth from spinning, I want to get off!
ANONYMOUS If you don't like me, remember it's mind over matter. I don't mind and you don't matter.
ANONYMOUS The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.
ANONYMOUS Why do you always see lightning first and hear the thunder later? Because your eyes are in front of...
ANONYMOUS Instead of calling it the John I'm going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I ...
ANONYMOUS Stupidity is far more fascinating than intelligence, after all intelligence has it's limits.
ANONYMOUS Everyone should believe in something. I believe I should be on a beach drinking margaritas.
ANONYMOUS My kitchen cleaner says "for a clean kitchen" so I can't use it, mine is dirty.
ANONYMOUS Of course I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
ANONYMOUS Everything happening now happens because of everything that has happened before.
ANONYMOUS When there's a will, I want to be in it.
ANONYMOUS Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film.
ANONYMOUS When is the longer way always better than the shorter one? When you're a taxi driver.
ANONYMOUS As long as everything is exactly the way I want it.. I'm totally flexible.
ANONYMOUS When the cop told me to give him my first name and last name I told him, 'Are you crazy? What's my ...
ANONYMOUS Always be yourself, unless you can be a unicorn. Then always be a unicorn.
ANONYMOUS What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
ANONYMOUS I'm going to stand outside, so if anybody asks for me, I'm outstanding.
ANONYMOUS Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
ANONYMOUS I'm multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.
ANONYMOUS Think you're smart? Come over and help me with my homework.
ANONYMOUS Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
ANONYMOUS Newspaper Ad: Parachute for sale, used once, never opened!!
ANONYMOUS I bet you anything that I can stop gambling right now.
ANONYMOUS My doctor prescribed laughter as the most efficient medicine. Unfortunately the pharmacist said too ...
ANONYMOUS Finding a treasure is like working on algebra equations, all you have to do is find the X.
ANONYMOUS I'm trying to think how I can think of what I want to think.
ANONYMOUS People think.....
I'm skinny, but I'm really chunky.
I'm cheap, but I'm really thrifty. ANONYMOUS I looked into my wallet and it was empty, I looked through all my pockets and they were all empty. T...
ANONYMOUS I lost control. Offering reward to anyone who finds it.
ANONYMOUS Chuck Norris is so amazing he can:
Light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.<...
ANONYMOUS Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time a...
ANONYMOUS He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this ...
ANONYMOUS I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition.
ANONYMOUS I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.
ANONYMOUS Stop! You're under arrest for being too sexy. Your sentence is an eternity inside my heart.
ANONYMOUS Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurrasic Park.
ANONYMOUS It's 11PM, do you know where your pants are?
ANONYMOUS Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along with a carrot. Some yo...
ANONYMOUS Don't believe everything fortune cookies tells you. Just because they're sweet doesn't mean they're...
ANONYMOUS Pleasing everyone, that's impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!
ANONYMOUS I always carry a knife in my purse, just in case we're having cake.
ANONYMOUS How do I like my eggs? In a cake.
ANONYMOUS My grandpa's car is so old; when he parked in front of a museum, they towed his car inside the museu...
ANONYMOUS Birthdays are nature's way of feeding us cake.
ANONYMOUS What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
ANONYMOUS I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.
ANONYMOUS There was a robot invented in China that catches thieves. In Australia it caught 10 thieves, in Ame...
ANONYMOUS I'm a Victoria's Secret model. It's such a secret, not even Victoria knows.
ANONYMOUS How is a poor man a lot like a rich man? They both have an iPhone.
ANONYMOUS Fart when someone hugs you, it makes them feel strong.
ANONYMOUS Smile while you still have teeth.
ANONYMOUS Have some patience, I'm screwing things up as fast as possible.
ANONYMOUS After many years of studying my Geography book I finally know by heart that Australia is on page 23.
ANONYMOUS Funny sign at health spa: Fresh 10,000 year old mud for sale.
ANONYMOUS I always mean what I say, I don't always mean to say it out loud, but I always mean it.
ANONYMOUS I love that cute thing you do when you stop texting me for hours, it's adorable.
ANONYMOUS True love is truly amazing only when it's truly true.
ANONYMOUS Being married means mostly shouting "What?" from other rooms.
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a blow dryer blows?
ANONYMOUS Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
ANONYMOUS Never test how deep the water is with both feet.
ANONYMOUS Never judge a book by it's movie
ANONYMOUS I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my ...
ANONYMOUS When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail.
ANONYMOUS Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring so I go back to being myself.
ANONYMOUS If you didn't see it with your own eyes, or hear it with your own ears, don't invent it with your sm...
ANONYMOUS My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I'd have to do.
ANONYMOUS I know that I am stupid but when I look around me I feel a lot better.
ANONYMOUS Officer: I had a feeling I'd catch someone speeding here. Driver: I know, that's why I came as fast...
ANONYMOUS I did a push-up today. Well actually I fell down, but I had to use my arms to get back up, so close ...
ANONYMOUS Today I saw something through a store window that was truly stunning, beautiful and sexy. I wanted ...
ANONYMOUS Today was once tomorrow, and tomorrow will be today soon.
ANONYMOUS Silence is golden. Too bad nobody is buying.
ANONYMOUS I'm not really a control freak, but... can I show the right way to do that?
ANONYMOUS A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.
ANONYMOUS I once finished first on my running team, then the coach asked me where everyone else is.
ANONYMOUS Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
ANONYMOUS Why is the sky blue? Sure there is an explanation, but lets just be thankful it's not red!
ANONYMOUS Just because I can't sing doesn't mean that I won't sing.
ANONYMOUS Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place... the fridge.
ANONYMOUS I'm not frowning, I'm just smiling upside down.
ANONYMOUS The only problem with golf is that the slow people are always in front of you and the fast people al...
ANONYMOUS I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.
ANONYMOUS The amount of time it takes for a minute to go by is proportionally dependent with the distance to t...
ANONYMOUS Bathroom sign above toilet: It's like basketball, the basket is bigger than the ball! Learn to sco...
ANONYMOUS I can't wait for that to never happen.
ANONYMOUS I liked the movie Titanic, my favorite character was the iceberg.
ANONYMOUS Sports top moment: to score a goal but miss in the re-play.
ANONYMOUS Honesty top moment: to be a cop and give yourself a ticket for going through a red light.
ANONYMOUS Rudeness top moment: to scare an ostrich on an asphalt street.
ANONYMOUS I'm so sorry about what I said when I was hungry.
ANONYMOUS Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* Whew, I got down those stairs fast.
ANONYMOUS Beauty is mysterious as well as terrible.
ANONYMOUS An expert is a person who has made every possible mistake in a small field of study.
ANONYMOUS My taste in music ranges from "You've gotta listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
ANONYMOUS Just because it's called makeup, it doesn't mean it should make up 100% of your face.
ANONYMOUS You can't please everyone, you're not a Nutella jar.
ANONYMOUS Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.
ANONYMOUS It's better to shut up and give the impression that you're stupid than to say something and erase al...
ANONYMOUS If we ever travel far in the universe to another planet with intelligent life, let's just make patte...
ANONYMOUS Whenever you feel stupid, remember that there are people outside searching for Pokemon.
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