No guy wants a broke female and No female wants a broke guy

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it.

Marriage is for responsible people just like driving a car, that's why we need a License to operate both of them

I wouldn't doubt it for a second if any of these literature teachers had a hand-sculpted custom-made replica of Shakespeare's dick.

Misfortunes never come singly.

..People don’t know how to be happy; they wouldn’t know what to do with their lives if they woke up one morning and discovered they had everything they ever dreamt of.