Network executives never did understand what made our show work,

George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work.

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.

I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

You don't reinvent yourself; you get better with what you do.