My stand-up act is very clean.


Carol Leifer

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I feel I've always got to keep my stand-up because I never want to lose it.
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I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you ...
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Honestly, so much of my book is about the best things in my life have happened since I'm 40.
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My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it...
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As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.
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I cried when I turned 34 for no other reason than 34 sounded old to me at the time.
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I always say to women, 'Take advantage of the fact that you're in the minority, don't se...
CAROL LEIFER
If you're going to be on television, you're going to have to clean up your act.
LINDA BAKER
I just think Cheeseburger's is bad neighbor, and they need to clean their act up and let us live in ...
JACK BALDWIN
The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.
HOWIE MANDEL
I actually did start performing at a young age and yes, I did do stand-up when I was 9. I did seem t...
JOSH CHARLES
People have a right to breathe clean air. It is time to stand up to the challenges, the critics and ...
BARRY GROVEMAN
As an artist, I gotta stand up to my own work.
EDWARD RUSCHA
My dream is to get someone like Carol Burnett on the show.
MARC CHERRY
Go green. Think green. Act Green. Get up, stand up. Living on the Green is free and good planets are...
LILY CHATTERJEE
I been trying to clean up my act with my children for a long time. And I pretty much got them all ta...
DR. JOHN
There's something very weird and abnormal about my particular quest to do stand-up; it's very isolat...
BRETT BUTLER
Temptation is as old as time; or at least, the history of temptation extends as far back as the mome...
DEREK BLASBERG
Stand up for what is right even if you're standing alone.
SUZY KASSEM
While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get m...
TIM ALLEN
We act individually to collectively clean our communities.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA
A Christmas Carol is such a fool-proof story you can't louse it up.
LEONARD MALTIN
Stand-up is kind of like my home base, and doing stand-up in New York is what I like doing most.
JUDAH FRIEDLANDER
I did miss having a shower, particularly to clean my hair up. But otherwise what we did onboard was ...
BILL SHEPHERD
Thanks, but no thanks. I need my makeup honey. - Carol
MATTHEW LEETH
It has been a failure because the big industrial polluters, led by the United States, have failed to...
DAN BECKER
I can't keep the mirrors clean in my condo. We're constantly having to clean and wipe grease up.
JACK BALDWIN
People, if you stand here and watch them, they act like this track's not even here. It's very danger...
JOSEPH STONE
I remember watching Eddie Murphy's stand-up act when I was little, and just being mesmerized.
ROB RIGGLE
Carol and I were so sure we were going to die in that storm. We were never in anything like it befor...
DAISY BLACK
It is a very difficult kind of transaction to stand up and cheer for.
DANIEL KUNSTLER
Our objective is to run an absolutely squeaky-clean process, which I can assure you we did. I'm conv...
MIKE MARSDEN
Shoot, I couldn't even stand there, ... The ball was up around my waist ... . I don't practice that ...
DANA QUIGLEY
Shoot, I couldn't even stand there. The ball was up around my waist ... . I don't practice that shot...
DANA QUIGLEY
I have worked with Carol for three years, and I think my opinion of her can be summed up with three ...
ANNETTE MANN
A big part of my living is my stand-up material on the road,
ARTIE LANGE
Clean up your own mess.
ROBERT FULGHUM
The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around...
TUCKER MAX
I stand up to people.
KEITH OLBERMANN
I think the Congo force is in danger of not being enacted if we don't clean up the act in Sierra Leo...
ALEX MORRISON
I've always been very direct and have told the truth and have been very willing to stand up and ...
BEV PERDUE
These are long-standing, serious violations of the Clean Water Act which are causing great harm to s...
GLEN SPAIN
I will say that if my wildest dreams come true, I will, like, wake up one day, and I will be Carol D...
ANGELA DUCKWORTH
I want to go to Washington and clean up Kay Hagan's mess.
THOM TILLIS
Our payback is to clean it up.
DOUG NOBLE
Lesbians are likely to be drawn to stand-up, if only because it's cheaper to produce and therefo...
KATE CLINTON
Stand-up was my entree into the entertainment world. I didn't have to act out somebody else'...
CHELSEA HANDLER
My wife changes the way that I dress. She makes me dress nicer than I want to dress. I feel like I p...
ADAM DRIVER
If we act in clean way, we shall clear the city of any dirt.
LAILAH GIFTY AKITA
My perception is that Jerry was a stand-up comedian for years and years,
COLIN QUINN
My first film crush was Mark Lester as Oliver Twist in the Carol Reed film.
SALLY PHILLIPS
In fact, people have been very complimentary about my act and very tolerant of my singing ability.
BRETT SOMERS
The very staff of my age, my very prop. -The Merchant of Venice. Act ii. Sc. 2.
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE
Anybody that'll stand up to The Cline is all right.
PATSY CLINE
The Gospel can stand up to scrutiny.
FRANK PERETTI
I've always been me. I've always been very direct and have told the truth and have been very...
BEV PERDUE
My hands are delicate and elegant, thank you very much. They're well-kept; my nails are clean.
AISHA TYLER
It takes both courage and talent to stand up in front of fellow human beings and make them crack a s...
RAY COMFORT
There's hypocrisy on all sides. Arab governments and their newspapers don't have a good record. They...
AS'AD ABUKHALIL
I was on the set when I was five years old with Spencer Tracy. A lot of what I learned growing up in...
ROBERT BLAKE
Let me talk Carol!!
CHAD MYERS
Live stand-up is my thing. I love being on stage and just messing around.
JACK WHITEHALL
My name at birth was Carol Joan Klein. It would take me five decades to appreciate my surname and th...
CAROLE KING
If you believe very strongly in something, stand up and fight for it.
ROY T. BENNETT
An act against my will is not my act.
UNKNOWN
A great demo is like a stand-up act. There is a smooth opening where you try to get the ‘crowd’ ...
DAN WALDSCHMIDT
Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight.
BOB MARLEY
I'm not a prettier everywoman. I am an everywoman that they clean up awfully well for T.V.
KELLY RIPA
Stand up to injustice, even if you stand alone
SUZY KASSEM
Whatever is dirty, it is women's job to clean up, or drive some man to clean up, and that goes f...
AGNES MACPHAIL
A lot of people my age think stand up sucks.
AZIZ ANSARI
Stand up! stand up for Jesus!
GEORGE DUFFIELD
Carol Chambers is still going to be working to set up a private foundation (for victim compensation)...
KATHLEEN WALSH
I get up around 7 a.m. That's very early for a stand-up comic. Then I'll have breakfast with...
MARGARET CHO
O then if in my lagging lines you miss / The roll, the rise, the carol, the creation.
GERARD MANLEY HOPKINS
Stand-up is the scariest thing - whether it's TV, movies, improv - stand-up is the worst.
MELISSA PETERMAN
Get up, stand up, Stand up for your rights. Get up, stand up, Don't give up the fight.
BOB MARLEY
Maybe coming clean is the ultimate selfish act. A way to absolve yourself by hurting someone who doe...
CINDY CHUPACK
I stand up for other people, I'm very protective of people around me. If I feel like somebody is...
CHRISTINA RICCI
Mama is my chance to be a stand-up comedian. In my mind, it's my chance to be Chris Rock.
VICKI LAWRENCE
Get up, stand up, stand up for your rights
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I liked myself better when I wasn't me.
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I think we're here for each other.
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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Limited partnerships are required to amend their filings whenever important changes, such as the adm...
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When I was in college at UCLA, I took a playwriting course. I was all set to be a writer. But I had ...
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Some managements do not even think of buybacks as an option. The idea of shrinking their equity base...
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Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.
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It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by a...
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There are chapters in every life which are seldom read and certainly not aloud.
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When I'm photographing, I think - like any rescue worker who deals with tragedy - you have to ha...
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I find the question of whether gender differences are biologically determined or socially constructe...
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I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
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Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to te...
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We don't stop going to school when we graduate.
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I'm glad I was born when I was. My time was the golden age of variety. If I were starting out ag...
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Those with dissociative disorders face a big enough battle living as multiples and dealing with past...
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There needs to be a nationwide awareness programme for all NHS staff, to educate them about dissocia...
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... in some sense, she ignored her physical self, as if her body were merely something impersonal ve...
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My parents never recognized the things that for me were achievements. I was praised for the things t...
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I was diagnosed with hypoglycemia, an abnormal decrease of sugar in the blood. Eventually I learned ...
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If I'm making a movie and get hungry, I call time-out and eat some crackers.
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I don't eat celery. I eat raw milk, cheeses.
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We must ensure that while eliminating child labor in the export industry, we are also eliminating th...
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But what attracted me to weeds was not their beauty, but their resilience. I mean, despite being so ...
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More than 55,000 men from Bomber Command lost their lives, of whom 38,000 were British. That's o...
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Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.
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It's not about failure; it's about trying something and risking something for attaining your...
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The speed and trajectory of BlackRock's ascent have been breathtaking.
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My grandmother and I followed my mother here, to a house a block north of Hollywood Boulevard but a ...
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My grandmother and I would go see movies, and we'd come back to the apartment - we had a one-roo...
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I enjoy worldbuilding very much. I generally start with an approximation. With 'Flesh and Spirit...
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Laughter is much more important than applause. Applause is almost a duty. Laughter is a reward.
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I had gone to nursing school at Northampton Community College in my hometown of Bethlehem, Pennsylva...
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I have a whole box full of pieces of the Berlin Wall and a heart made from the barbed wire of the Ir...
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She suffered. She suffered a whole lot. And at one point I was praying for her to be released. You k...
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When you have a dream you've got to grab it and never let go
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She was a mountain girl, ... We brought some of her ashes here and placed them next to F.C. Jones. I...
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People invite me to dinner not because I cook, but because I like to clean up. I get immediate grati...
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I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
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Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
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She said, 'Mama, if I can take it back ...,
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I have always grown from my problems and challenges, from the things that don't work out, that's whe...
CAROL BURNETT
I do think there are some great female comics: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph. Th...
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I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like M...
CAROL BURNETT
I'm hooked on Glenn Close in 'Damages.'
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The good thing about a dealer's derivatives portfolio is that it is marked to market.
CAROL LOOMIS
I believe in lieu of the Katrina situation last week it is even more important that we are prepared ...
CAROL MILLER
The faculty will be a little more relaxed this semester, because we know that problems are inevitabl...
CAROL MILLER
I came in Tuesday and took a tour of the building for the first time. My first impression was that E...
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Many people have been able to return to their homes. We expect to spend most of today assessing dama...
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People have really improved their recycling efforts.
CAROL MILLER
It was very moving and extremely needed, ... We are a conservative campus where this is not talked a...
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The goal is to have at least one quarter of the amount of trash that would have gone to the landfill...
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So far this year we have taken in 108.5 tons of recyclable versus the estimated 65.6 tons collected ...
CAROL MILLER
The students were definitely the first priority, that's why they have finished all the classrooms. T...
CAROL MILLER
We could always use more, but we are getting back on schedule after the holiday.
CAROL MILLER
Say you get to some place and you can't find an ATM. I will only get one or two or three days worth ...
CAROL MICKELSEN
Europe is very close to what you would find in the U.S. If you're going to a very small town in Amer...
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[Europe is closest to North America in its density of ATMs.] ATM machines are all over the place. Th...
CAROL MICKELSEN
In Poland, we could pay for groceries with a credit card. Surprisingly enough, campgrounds take char...
CAROL MICKELSEN
In Poland, we could pay for groceries with a credit card, ... Surprisingly enough, campgrounds take ...
CAROL MICKELSEN
Say you get to some place and you can't find an ATM, ... I will only get one or two or three days wo...
CAROL MICKELSEN
Response times will be better.
CAROL MEYER
You as a resident need to make yourself prepared and knowledgeable.
CAROL MEYER
I'd say we're probably one of the most prepared counties in the country.
CAROL MEYER
It's awesome. I thought it would be a wonderful opportunity. I very much favor the Philharmonic.
CAROL MEYER
Trauma funds aren't going into the San Gabriel Valley, but paying for the trauma patients that get t...
CAROL MEYER
We both do all the work, but we each have the places where we shine.
CAROL MCNEELY
We think every home needs at least one, or maybe two or three, decorative rooms.
CAROL MCNEELY
We tailor finishes to people's personalities.
CAROL MCNEELY
We want people to know that we do more than stripes and polka dots.
CAROL MCNEELY
She was a feisty woman. She was a clown. She made everyone laugh. Everyone loved to be around her.
CAROL MARSH
It all happened very fast. In 10 minutes, the whole thing was gone.
CAROL MARSH
This is how close we were.
CAROL MARSH
My grandmother was a feisty woman. That's probably the best way to describe her. She was still deliv...
CAROL MARSH
Our guests, when they arrive on board, they are going to see that. When they depart, they are going ...
CAROL MARLOW
The response has been remarkable.
CAROL MARLOW
We spent longer than we had planned in Fort Lauderdale, which meant that the itinerary has had to be...
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Cunard has the unique distinction of having the only true liners in the industry, and we're proud to...
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We gave our guests a compensation package which we felt was fair, and clearly it's not our intention...
CAROL MARLOW
Queen Victoria will be a classically-styled Cunard queen, offering the very best of our heritage, al...
CAROL MARLOW
The arc of your swing doesn't have a thing to do with the size of your heart.
CAROL MANN
Her swing changed in a way I hadn't seen before. She quit turning and got steep. She stopped being a...
CAROL MANN
The Open is the home of the over-try.
CAROL MANN
Before mental skills can really make a difference, a golfer has to develop swing skills and course m...
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[Cherry Hills will be used as support for the argument that Wie's path will leave her not only with ...
CAROL MANN
What happens is that women tend to panic when they're losing it. Whereas, generally speaking, men, r...
CAROL MANN
It pretty much becomes an off-leash day every day. That's what's happening now again.
CAROL MAJESKE
If they don't follow the rules there may not be any choice in the future but to do further restricti...
CAROL MAJESKE
Those who choose not to follow the rules may ruin it for the dog owners that are complying.
CAROL MAJESKE
It's just a stressful situation for wildlife who are already stressed out in the winter.
CAROL MAJESKE
That's the age when classes start to become departmentalized and this could be the first manifestati...
CAROL LOEWITH
The problem with these classes is that the tutoring is usually done in small groups rather than one-...
CAROL LOEWITH
Before you run off to a million different tutoring systems, have the school test the student to see ...
CAROL LOEWITH
Before you usher them off to a tutoring center it would really pay for the parent to talk to the tea...
CAROL LOEWITH
What you're doing is, you're paying $22.8 million for the privilege of putting up $100 million. At t...
CAROL LICKO
Scripps is not being difficult in this. We've tried every which way to come to agreement with the co...
CAROL LICKO
[Scripps] would have never bet its institute on this. They didn't do it on Mecca, and they're certai...
CAROL LICKO
Scripps is a science institute. We don't want to be suing the county.
CAROL LICKO
The party here that is trying to renege on their agreement is the county. Where's its obligation to ...
CAROL LICKO
He had all these tricks he used. He's not a dumb person, by any means. He just didn't get it in scho...
CAROL LEWIS
People really seem to like the larger facility.
CAROL LEWIS
Near the end of the year, we always run short.
CAROL LEWIS
The community is generous, but with all the bills going up, it?s getting expensive to run.
CAROL LEWIS
We have not behaved well as a board of education. It is a disgrace and a shame. We need to rectify t...
CAROL LEWIS
What these people say is true. It's really unfortunate.
CAROL LEWIS
This spin control stuff is not working when people are dying, ... You want to be supportive of the c...
CAROL LEWIS
They should have had acts that the young people can identify with. I'm not even feeling it. Maybe my...
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I don't have the manpower to go out and check to see if people are smoking. We had to cut down on la...
CAROL LEWIS
Throughout history, when our national security has been threatened, we have responded by reducing li...
CAROL LEWIS
We'll give it a good shot. We could do well or we could get killed.
CAROL LEVINE
I've been teaching tennis for 25 years.
CAROL LEVINE
You make a lot of adjustments in the early years, and it gets easier.
CAROL LEVINE
It is a safe assumption,
CAROL LEVINE
Because men who do any significant kind of caregiving are often seen by family and friends as heroic...
CAROL LEVINE
Being thrust into the role of caregiver without any preparation is difficult under any circumstances...
CAROL LEVINE
They are not seen as doing anything but helping out, as kids are supposed to do.
CAROL LEVINE
This is a tremendous sense of guilt and burden that children should not have to bear.
CAROL LEVINE
We had no jobs, no place to live. At his first job he worked for $400 a month.
CAROL LEVINE
This does not have the earmarks of a long-planned management transition.
CAROL LEVENSON
Getting into a bidding war with J&J is bad enough. But getting into a cash-throwing contest with J&J...
CAROL LEVENSON
There's no reason to believe this name has bottomed out.
CAROL LEVENSON
Even at these weaker levels we still consider tobacco company paper unacceptably risky.
CAROL LEVENSON
A stock buyback is a risk-free way of ensuring earnings accretions. As long as borrowed funds remain...
CAROL LEVENSON
Boeing can easily afford this purchase, with nearly $10 billion in cash and marketable securities on...
CAROL LEVENSON
Market nervousness can lead to counterparty nervousness, which can lead to rating agency nervousness...
CAROL LEVENSON
We don't know how fast they are disappearing, but we know they are going fast.
CAROL LEE
I had told him in the beginning, 'You take care of my girl.' I wish he would've taken care of her a ...
CAROL LEE
A lot of stress, lots of that. Sleepless nights, the waiting is the hardest.
CAROL LEE
It's not flames or anything.
CAROL LEE
Basically, we're asking for monetary contributions right now.
CAROL LEE
There is a great deal of potential in this boat,
CAROL LEE
I have never been on the receiving end of a hate crime, or even a disparaging remark to my face.
CAROL ANSHAW
We have four boys. Otto is the only boy in his family. He fit right in with our crew. They all got a...
CAROL WHEELER
I love doing it. Maybe someone who hears what I wrote will pay me to publish it.
CAROL WEST