My Roommate's Gun Has Nine Bullets...


Gene Weingarten

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I love Gene Weingarten's feature writing with the passion of a thousand suns.
ALEXANDRA PETRI
My Body Is A Machine Gun, My Words Are My Bullets, And The World Is My Target.
DONALD C HALL
You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need t...
CHRIS ROCK
I was attacked by a machine-gun from some 50 meters, bullets passed so close.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
You cannot intimidate people with real bullets, but you can intimidate them with fake gun.
AMIT KALANTRI
Got that gun?” Peter says to Tobias. “No,” says Tobias, “I figured I would shoot the bullets...
VERONICA ROTH
Bullets cannot be recalled. They cannot be uninvented. But they can be taken out of the gun.
MARTIN AMIS
Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven.
DOUGLAS HORTON
Thoughts are the gun, words are the bullets, deeds are the target, the bulls-eye is heaven.
DOUG HORTON
I thought he was my friend, but he betrayed me. If someone points a gun at you and shoots and it doe...
CARLTON DOTSON
I feel real really good. I can call any scheme in practice and have confidence that they'll execute ...
GUNTHER CUNNINGHAM
She soon says, "You're my best friend, Ed."
You can kill a man with those words.
No gun. MARKUS ZUSAK
You can kill a man with those words.
No gun.
No bullets.
Just words and a girl.
MARKUS ZUSAK
If you can't take something down in 10 bullets, you probably shouldn't even own a gun.
CAROLYN MCCARTHY
While it is true that many hep C victims became infected through blood transfusions or organ transpl...
GENE WEINGARTEN
When you are interviewing someone, don't just write down what he says. Ask yourself: Does this g...
GENE WEINGARTEN
The Pulitzer is a crapshoot. Your piece has to hit a few people the right way at the right moment.
GENE WEINGARTEN
Sometimes, homely things are done for the best reasons in the world and thus achieve a beauty of the...
GENE WEINGARTEN
the aptly named Uncle Dick.
GENE WEINGARTEN
The whole point of corporate mascots is to be distinctive. No one in his right mind would ever confu...
GENE WEINGARTEN
(My Baby Does The) Hanky Panky.
GENE WEINGARTEN
Yes, there can be. If I also pitched for the Yankees.
GENE WEINGARTEN
I disagree with those who suggest that we permanently close down the U.S. mail on the grounds that i...
GENE WEINGARTEN
My words are my bullets.
JOHN LYDON
They don't think about shooting a gun. It means nothing to them. They don't care where (the bullets)...
THEODORA BROCK
I hope my fans remember my name is Gene Vincent and not Gene Autry.
GENE VINCENT
Whiskey has killed more men than bullets, but most men would rather be full of whiskey than bullets.
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH
I've dodged bullets but there's no scandal in my life.
HECTOR ELIZONDO
All I'd heard for two months in the trenches was the hissing, cracking and whining of bullets in fli...
ALFRED ANDERSON
Clearly Greenspan's luster has dimmed, and there's this worry that he's fired a lot of bullets and t...
CARY LEAHEY
You can be someone's friend and have sex with them. The trick is you have to want their emotional an...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON
What do you do if you're in a room with Muammar Qaddafi, Saddam Hussein, and John Sununu, and you ha...
MICHAEL DUKAKIS
Gene sometimes... well, he has his dream list.
PAUL STANLEY
I look at my roommates who are so proud of me that it makes me proud.
ADRIANA TRIGIANI
While the comments from Fed officials suggest they are close to finishing, the Fed may still have a ...
MICHAEL MALPEDE
Let's create a regime that makes sale of bullets to anybody not licensed to carry a gun illegal,...
ELIOT SPITZER
The more bullets flying, the less accurate each individual slug has to be.
ANDREW VACHSS
Dove chocolate Easter eggs make good bullets for my chocolate cannon.
MATT MALDRE
You're sure your new roommate won't be like the last one who wore tinfoil socks and had a tendency t...
PATRICK ROTHFUSS
Must my guns Make em all Scatter,Bullets to my nuts only made my balls fatter.
TUPAC SHAKUR
You don’t need no gun control, you know what you need? We need some bullet control. Men, we need t...
CHRIS ROCK
He still has the gun.
CAPT. RICHARD SPIRLET
My London constituency in Hackney has one of the highest levels of gun crime in the country. But the...
DIANE ABBOTT
Some, like Mother Teresa, are born with a gene to help the poor, and some are born with a gene to wr...
FRANK MCCOURT
My roommates are all such happy-go-lucky guys, and I carry some of the stress around a lot more.
PIERCE BROWN
You're allowed to miss the people who were bullets to you, but you're not allowed to let them shoot ...
REYNA BIDDY
I definitely have my Palestinian gene. I love to play host.
BELLA HADID
My right hand was sort of casually near my gun, without looking like I was reaching for my gun. It w...
LAURELL K. HAMILTON
Gene Autry was the most. It may sound like a joke - Go and have a look in my bedroom, It's cover...
RINGO STARR
Whiskey has killed more men than bullets, but most men would rather be full of whiskey than bullets....
LOGAN PEARSALL SMITH
I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets.
JACKIE GLEASON
I've had times where one of my roommates was moving out of the house in college, and because we ...
COLIN KAEPERNICK
Gene Krupa was my big hero, and I used to play on my mother's flour cans and sugar cans with the...
DICK DALE
The gun industry has recognized that they've lost a generation and they're trying to create a youth ...
JOSH SUGARMANN
If you move out, pick good roommates and know their habits!
JENNIFER COX
That type of imagery really appealed to me when I was younger, when I skateboarded. It looks like an...
BEN GUN
Under this continuing US pressure, we can't go back to the negotiation table.
LI GUN
Senators say they fear the N.R.A. and the gun lobby. But I think that fear must be nothing compared ...
GABRIELLE GIFFORDS
I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwea...
MAUREEN JOHNSON
I don't think I could live with anybody. I had roommates, and it's not for me. I like my spa...
ASHLEY BENSON
E-mail has some magical ability to turn off the politeness gene in a human being.
JEFF BEZOS
You cannot preserve this gene pool with such reductions. Each herd has a significant historical valu...
KAREN SUSSMAN
A convert, if he converts through the Orthodox, he has the Jewish gene. If he doesn't convert th...
ELI YISHAI
When I started Facebook from my dorm room in 2004, the idea that my roommates and I talked about all...
MARK ZUCKERBERG
A favorite cast? Lisa Kudrow, Anthony Hopkins, Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, and my wife.
WILLIAM H. MACY
Sticks and stones and small caliber bullets may break my bones... Words will never, et cetera.
JIM BUTCHER
It'll take a gun to my head.
ANNIE LEWIS
I don't want my son to fight and duck bullets. I want a choice where I live.
DEBORAH BROWN
Right now, the techniques for gene therapy are kind of brute force. You put the gene in and hope it ...
HARVEY LODISH
If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own g...
DALAI LAMA XIV
It was something... the way a person's life picked up speed, the way a life was like a bullet aimed ...
JOE HILL
He reaches into my holster and pulls my gun out. I'm looking in the barrel of my own gun - he's got ...
RON BAILEY
Well we had nine top forensic pathologists from across the country, who operated as a panel, who loo...
LOUIS STOKES
I've got four roommates and they all have fur and tails.
KATE WALSH
We have been roommates our entire lives. We just bought a place together.
MARY-KATE OLSEN
Freud had a gene for inefficiency, and I think I have a gene for efficiency.
ALBERT ELLIS
I came to L.A. when I was 19, and my two roommates were blue-eyed, blond dudes. I helped coach them,...
MICHAEL PENA
[Kneaders] is like a little bakery. It's just fun because there's always something different. My roo...
BRITTANY WILLIS
He hadn’t said a word to me until we had been roommates for eight months. And even then it had onl...
MELODY J. BREMEN
Nobody has any rights unless they've got a machine gun.
KENT ANDERSON
I do not aim with my hand; he who aims with his hand has forgotten the face of his father.
I ai...
STEPHEN KING
The True Guru, becoming merciful, has fulfilled my desires. He has attached me to the hem of His rob...
SRI GURU GRANTH SAHIB
Hey, I'm just trying to become the Michael Caine/Gene Hackman of my generation.
JOHN C. REILLY
Bombs and bullets don't discriminate.
SOPHIE MASSON
Memories are worse than bullets.
CARLOS RUIZ ZAFóN
A gene can be either dominant or recessive, depending on which type of gene it is.
DAVE BARRY
The largest one laughed. Until Natalya's glass shard plugged his jugular. Regin aimed and pulled the...
KRESLEY COLE
Tyler and me at the edge of the roof, the gun in my mouth, I'm wondering how clean this gun is.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK
My gun trainer on the first 'G.I. Joe' gave me about a week of commando training, so I got t...
RAY PARK
I was eight years old, and it was a gift from my parents [Gene and Ann Henderson].
BOB HENDERSON
I remembered the gun I had beneath my seat.
JOE WHITE
That's when he stuck a gun in my face.
DERRICK EDWARDS
The ballot is stronger than bullets.
JOSEPH A. SCHUMPETER
The ballot is stronger than bullets.
JOSEPH SCHUMPETER
Better pointed bullets than pointed speeches.
OTTO VON BISMARCK
The rain fell like dead bullets.
SCOTT NICHOLSON
I was looking for a place to live and so we decided to be roommates.
ANGELA BARRAZA
The thing is, it's really hard to be roommates with people if your suitcases are much better than th...
J.D. SALINGER
The gun dealer is not only paying these two police officers, but more importantly, the gun dealer ha...
MICHAEL D. BARNES
Put a gun to my head and paint the wall with my brains.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK

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The Pulitzer is a crapshoot. Your piece has to hit a few people the right way at the right moment.
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The whole point of corporate mascots is to be distinctive. No one in his right mind would ever confu...
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There are enormously gifted Episcopal priests around this church who are gay and lesbian, some of wh...
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Foolproof systems do not take into account the ingenuity of fools.
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Exercise should be regarded as tribute to the heart.
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I hope my fans remember my name is Gene Vincent and not Gene Autry.
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You have to bear in mind that Mr. Autry's favorite horse was named Champion. He ain't ever h...
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I do not like assassins, or men of low character.
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John Goodman is more that just a big guy, he's a wonderful actor.
GENE SISKEL
The sad thing is most people have to check with someone before they do the things that make them hap...
GENE SIMMONS
Some women feel the best cure for a broken heart is a new beau.
GENE TIERNEY
Forty minutes in front of Beck isn't really where it's at.
GENE WEEN
Men are not against you; they are merely for themselves.
GENE FOWLER
Weak people believe what is forced on them. Strong people what they wish to believe, forcing that to...
GENE WOLFE
I wanted to do - there was this film called 'Magic' that Anthony Hopkins did. And the direct...
GENE WILDER
That's probably when I get the most angry at American movies, when they just so cynically manipu...
GENE SISKEL
It has become a crusade of mine to demonstrate that TV need not be violent to be exciting.
GENE RODDENBERRY
Shell and Exxon support export, but refiners like Valero could end up paying more for the crude oil.
GENE GREEN
I will be brief. Not nearly so brief as Salvador Dali, who gave the world's shortest speech. He ...
GENE FOWLER
Do not waste your life waiting for wings. Trust that you can already fly.
AUDREY GENE
Things danced on the screen do not look the way they do on the stage. On the stage, dancing is three...
GENE KELLY
...he seemed to grasp a deep understanding of the unfolding drama in which he had been caught. He se...
GENE EDWARDS
David was caught in a very uncomfortable position; however, he seemed to grasp a deep understanding ...
GENE EDWARDS
I dated dozens of young men, had fun with all, made commitments to none.
GENE TIERNEY
When we got back to my room, Gilda gave the dog a bowl of water and set some newspaper down in the b...
GENE WILDER
If you think about it, critics are an unnecessary life-form on the planet Earth, and here's why:...
GENE SIMMONS
While traveling near Tampa, Florida I passed the "Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall" and was struck by...
GENE SPAFFORD
If unix is the face of the future I wanna go back to quill pens.
GENE SPAFFORD
Writing is easy. All you have to do is stare at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on ...
GENE FOWLER
News is history shot on the wing. The huntsmen from the Fourth Estate seek to bag only the peacock o...
GENE FOWLER
Back in the Saddle Again
GENE AUTRY
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer,
GENE AUTRY
things that give you standing in the community.
GENE AUTRY
I'm going to tell you what my religion is. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Pe...
GENE WILDER
You Are My Sunshine.
GENE AUTRY
We want to give men and women in the department equal opportunities to appear on stage. With 'Julius...
GENE ANTHONY
It's tough, it's an interesting little play -- part comedy, part serious. Basically, it's a story ab...
GENE ANTHONY
We bought a real beauty parlor, with dryers and functioning water, and the whole bit. All the other ...
GENE ANTHONY
We missed Valentine's Day by about a week. You can tell your guy you'll trade him this play for thre...
GENE ANTHONY
I wonder if my mom just got tired of voting for North College Hill.
GENE AMMIRANTE
All of our guys can make those scrappy plays. We've come to expect the defensive effort because thos...
GENE AMMIRANTE
I thought Andrew did a great job (defensively). When we face 1,000-point scorers like Eric Anthony, ...
GENE AMMIRANTE