My own feeling is that if adultery is wickedness then so is food. Both make me feel so much better afterward.

You can't just eat good food. You've got to talk about it too. And you've got to talk about it to somebody who understands that kind of food.

Wickedness was like food: once you got started it was hard to stop; the gut expanded to take in more and more.

I don't think we've ever talked about pre-positioning food caches before.

I had no talent for science. What was infinitely worse: all my fraternity brothers were engineers.

I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.