My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.

Please don't follow in my footsteps. I'm already knee-deep in them, and am sinking rapidly...

Never trust a man with a penis.

I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.

A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.

Geek e-mail sign-off: No trees were killed to send this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.