My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

My mother buried three husbands Ð and two of them were only napping.

Most turkeys taste better the day after, my mother's tasted better the day before.

My mother buried three husbands - and two of them were only napping.

The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.

My mother's mother is a very tough cookie. She buried three husbands. Two of them were just napping.