FastSaying

My first funeral job was mowing grass at funeral homes. ... I needed gas money. I got to drive around in a hearse. I wasn't afraid.


James O'Boyle

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I used to sing at funeral homes for families that didn't have a vocalist. I didn't get paid....
ANITA BAKER Ah, much deluded! lay aside
Thy threats, and anger misapplied!
Art not afraid with sounds ...
JOHN MILTON I think they'll be surprised at the volume. We sell to funeral homes across the country.
TERRY JACKSON My very first job was a cashier at Burger King in Tucson, Arizona. And I occasionally worked the dri...
KATE WALSH When I was a kid, I would fantasize about my own funeral.
NOAH BAUMBACH I was completely paralyzed. I couldn't open my eyes. I could hear people talking. I thought I was at...
ERIC KAPLAN It was really shocking. I remember at the funeral, everyone was walking around shocked, but Sean and...
RICK BROWN When I was 7 years old, I put on shows for everyone at my grandpa's funeral. I was always the little...
NATALIE PORTMAN I've had to write a column an hour after I've come back from a funeral. A deadline is a dead...
LAURIE NOTARO I never saw a dollar bill cry at anyone's funeral.
J. LINCOLN FENN I don't think these funeral homes can really survive because they won't be doing enough funerals to ...
DAVID HARRINGTON I've a great fancy to see my own funeral afore I die.
MARIA EDGEWORTH Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.
CHARLES LAMB My first acquaintance with 'Peter Pan' was back when I lived in South London. I was at art s...
ROGER REES I really want Americans, and all of us, to be less afraid of death, and know that it's a passage...
VALERIE HARPER After Chris' funeral I decided to grow my hair. Then a month later my uncle died of cancer. That was...
CHADD LITTLE I was there for her. I buried one of my dearest friends. I was not going to get caught up in the min...
LYNN COTHREN I call on citizens to attend the funeral, as our wish to have the funeral in the country has been fu...
MILORAD VUCELIC People still realize the importance of paying their respects to the family. That's why funeral homes...
DON OTTO I delayed my father's funeral because of cricket.
VIRAT KOHLI I could not escape a feeling that this was my own funeral, and you do not cry in that case.
JOHN KNOWLES I used to work in a funeral home to feel good about myself, just the fact that I was breathing.
CHUCK PALAHNIUK I don't want this to feel like a funeral.
MICHAEL JORDAN I drive a 1974 Cadillac hearse and it seemed liked the ultimate accessory for my car.
DAN BAILEY I can't think of a more wonderful thanksgiving for the life I have had than that everyone should be ...
ADMIRAL (LORD) LOUIS MOUNTBATTEN Bergman movies were the most influential. They used to show at Goucher University, which was where m...
JOHN WATERS When I was 13, I had my first job with my dad carrying shingles up to the roof. And then I got a job...
ASHTON KUTCHER My Corolla, sorry to report, was mortally wounded in the attack. There were no funeral plans at this...
HEATHER WEBBER They had a big dinner at the church after the funeral; when we got back, I found out then he had use...
TERRI SADLER The first funeral for Andrew Goodman was at night and it was a lot of work. To begin with they had t...
JIMMY BRESLIN Funeral by funeral, theory advances
PAUL A. SAMUELSON At 11, I got my first job in a mini-series for America, and it was very exciting.
TAMSIN EGERTON Most people choose a funeral home for all the wrong reasons: It's close to their house, or it has se...
JOSHUA SLOCUM He did not leave enough money to pay for the funeral. So we are asking, instead of flowers, that don...
ROBERTA BARTHOLDI Let the son of an appointed daughter first present a funeral cake to his mother, the second to her f...
GURU NANAK I was 18 when I got my first acting job.
JAIME WINSTONE I never thought there could be so much life in a funeral home.
KATHY BURKE My dad was a rebel. A half-destroyed history book hidden in his room, friends at his funeral I knew ...
KIERA CASS All I want to do is find out where my mama is and have a funeral for her.
FRED SAVAGE Remember to keep in control of your policy's money rather than turning the money over to the funeral...
ANDREW CROCKER Remember to keep in control of your policy's money rather than turning the money over to the funeral...
ANDREW B. CROCKER I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
STEVEN WRIGHT She had actually asked to sing at my Mom's funeral and wanted me to stay in touch with her, but I ha...
GARY GIBSON The saddest face I ever saw on Martin Luther King was at the funeral of the four little girls slain ...
JAMES A. FORBES You are thirty minutes late."
"Yes."
"Would you be thirty minutes late to a wedding or a f...
CHARLES BUKOWSKI Science advances one funeral at a time
MAX PLANCK Science advances one funeral at a time.
MAX PLANCK Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral.
DEMETRI MARTIN I've got no idea when I am going to retire. Whenever they pick me up and take me to the funeral ...
COLONEL SANDERS On the outer fringe of the parish are the four-wheelers-those who come only by pram for their christ...
PERCY LUTTON I'd spend more money on gas to drive (to Wal-Mart) than I would save (in fees).
CHRISTINA POWERS People don't know if they're in church or at a funeral.
COREY ROSS Originally, I think, I wanted to be an actor. But I got into broadcasting by accident, if you will, ...
ALEX TREBEK On the day of the funeral, I was just taken by it all - I didn't want it to be forgotten.
LARRY PADILLA We saw a few cemeteries with this. In case of bad weather, funeral homes will be able to set up unde...
BECKY RICHARDSON I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN I did not attend his funeral, but I wrote a nice letter saying I approved it.
MARK TWAIN At Dad's funeral, it was something. I think everyone was surprised to see the whole battalion of re-...
TOM HEWITT In the funeral home, I never heard laughter like that in my life. The audience was laughing on the s...
CARL REINER The only reason I got into broadcasting was, I needed money to pay for my junior and senior years at...
ALEX TREBEK I'm looking at something on my wall. It says jogging 6 miles an hour at 150 pounds is 11.6 calories ...
ROBERT RIZZA I worked hard at my four-year M.A., but got a 2.1. That was a big disappointment, as I wanted to wri...
SAUL DAVID At first, my game was just drive, drive, drive. I found out it's a lot easier when you can do both.
SHONTAVIA WILLIAMS I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN Many communities have turned a blind eye to what goes on inside funeral homes, as many people prefer...
PERIANNE BORING A man live's to hear what they say at his funeral
CHRIS MACHADO I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN But that wasn´t the first time I ever saw her. I saw her in the hallways at school, and at my mothe...
VERONICA ROTH When my mother died, my father was in a crisis, my sister was in a crisis, everyone was in a crisis....
STUART ROSE We like our food fried, greasy and sweet. My people in the audience know we go to a funeral to eat, ...
RONIECE WEAVER I'm looking for a job now up here. That's a priority. Winning was nice — I can get some gas money o...
TIM PERRY I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.
KEITH RICHARDS I'm used to being in front of camera and knowing what to think. But if you're asking me to b...
EDDIE MARSAN I am not afraid... I was born to do this.
JOAN OF ARC I seldom go into a natural history museum without feeling as if I were attending a funeral.
JOHN BURROUGHS I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
MARK TWAIN Worldly faces never look so worldly as at a funeral
GEORGE ELIOT Anytime you have a funeral of a person who is publicly known, it calls for extra security to handle ...
JAMES TATE The members of Selected Independent Funeral Homes are dedicated to honoring and preserving the memor...
GEORGE CLARKE He had problems remembering names. There was a lot of humor about that at his funeral.
HORACE WILLIAMS This is like being at your own funeral.
FRED BERRY I played a funeral convention once. York Casket Company pays well, in case anyone's wondering!
CHRIS YOUNG My own funeral, I'd like to be laid out in a coffin in my own house. I would like my coffin to b...
ANNE RICE My first job was cutting grass. In Miami, this grass grows everywhere. You just get the lawn mower o...
BARRY JENKINS I have to drive to Wilburton three times a week. There's no telling how much gas money we spend,
LES ROBERTS It's not what I'd want for at my funeral. When I die, I just want them to plant me somewhere warm. A...
NEIL GAIMAN I was born and raised in North Little Rock, Arkansas. I was 15 when I got my first job serving food ...
JOEY LAUREN ADAMS I'll always remember when I bumped into Good Morning America's Robin Roberts on a flight to ...
GAYLE KING I have asked to have no funeral, and no memorial service. I hate other people's and would certai...
CHARLES SAATCHI When I went to the funeral, it was just ...it really hit me hard. I've never had a friend that young...
DAN KANE And I can feel one of my turns coming on. I feel cold as a razor blade, Tight as a tourniquet, Dry a...
PINK FLOYD And I can feel one of my turns coming on. I feel cold as a razor blade, Tight as a tourniquet, Dry a...
PINK FLOYD I thought everyone was doing a good job. It all broke loose. This is my first time at Daytona, and I...
BRIAN VICKERS I was doing my job. I'm a Chinese, and I had to do whatever was needed.
LONG QIMING Gas prices are way too high. What I make cutting grass, I turn right around and spend on gas. (Gas) ...
MALCOLM SMITH When I first got to WWE, the head of talent relations was John Laurinaitis, who is now my father-in-...
DANIEL BRYAN At first, it was more of a grass-roots operation. What I see, and this is my opinion in the way the ...
BOB CONDRON I got the F-bomb my first day on the job. I was still stuttering around and scared and hadn't said m...
ANDREW NIELSON

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From Faber and Faber
To see Annie Liffey trip, tumble and caper. JAMES JOYCE British actors are pretty good, by and large, at turning on at 'action' and off at 'cut....
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CHERYL JAMES As a technology, the book is like a hammer. That is to say, it is perfect: a tool ideally suited to ...
JAMES GLEICK The fact is, an America's Cup team is more than a sailing team. It's anywhere from sort of 8...
JAMES SPITHILL Every nation whose affairs betray a want of wisdom and stability may calculate on every loss which c...
JAMES MADISON They can shout down the head of the physics department at Cal Tech.
JAMES STOCKDALE The rise of computer crime and armed robbery has not eliminated the lure of caged cash.
JAMES CHILES I think most people read and re-read the things that they have liked. That's certainly true in m...
JAMES LAUGHLIN I have made things for Calvin Klein and other designers, and it's interesting to see the way eac...
JAMES TURRELL I don't consider myself to be incredibly confident, or really lacking in confidence. When you...
JAMES CORDEN The Macau casinos have a wonderful business, it's taking in money from Chinese businessmen elsew...
JAMES CHANOS I chose to deal with the science of cryptography. Cryptography began in mathematics. Codes were deve...
JAMES SANBORN I think true economic class unhappiness comes from when across the street someone has a new Cadillac...
JAMES GRAY Long as I was riding in a big Cadillac and dressed nice and had plenty of food, that's all I car...
ETTA JAMES