My daughters-in-law, you know..." she shrugs her rounded shoulders resignedly. "They are such sweet girls, good mothers, kind to me..."
"And such bad cooks!" we all say in unison, the refrain of every Leftovers Brunch in our history.
"Tell us," Benji says, all of us relishing the litany and details of failed dishes.
"Well, Gina, you know, she is Italian, so she brings sausages in peppers, which smells like feet. And she takes the beautiful sausages that Kurt makes at the butcher shop and cooks them until they are like hard little rocks. Ellie, she is afraid of getting fat, so she makes cheesecake with no-fat Greek yogurt and Egg Beaters and fake sugar that tastes mostly of petrol. Lisa wanted to do stuffing, and it was so dry that you could barely choke it down. I had to make a second batch of gravy in the middle of dinner because everyone was trying to soak it so that it didn't kill us."
"But you made that beautiful turkey, and those dumplings are like pillows," Andrea says.
"And your famous German potato salad," Eloise says.
"And all of those desserts from the bakery," I say, dreaming of crispy, sweet pastries, oozing custard and homemade jam and dolloped with whipped cream.
"A good meal in spite of the girls." Lois beams, knowing that we all really mean our compliments.