Mrs. Squiffy decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Squiffy. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry.".