Men are more interesting in books than they are in real life.

Moses: God or crowd control?!?

I sometimes think I prefer suitors in books rather than right in front of me. How awful, backward, cowardly, and mentally warped that will be if it turns out to be true.

I think you learn more if you're laughing at the same time.

Reading good books ruins you for enjoying bad books.

Dude, I don’t want to talk about Lacey’s prom shoes. And I’ll tell you why: I have this thing that makes me really uninterested in prom shoes. It’s called a penis.