Meeting a vampire is kind of like a celebrity sighting, but where the celebrity possibly wants to kill you.

I don't believe in virgin sacrifice. It encourages promiscuity at an early age

Some people fight fire with fire. I've found water to be more effective.

I love to do comedy.

It was cold, dark & lonely in the great cathedral-like chambers, with only coffins and corpses for company.

So you want me to go to a human orgy, where I will not be welcome, and you want us to leave before I get to enjoy myself? ~Eric Northman