Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

You know you're old if your walker has an airbag

It is coincidence, I decide, and I am getting old and batty, thinking the universe revolves around me.

Wile I never formerly studied physics, it is with some regret that I was able to confirm dispositively and conclusivley Sir Isaac Newton's observations on gravity with my own proofs in this morning's mirror.

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type