Robin Williams quote: "Marijuana enhances many things, colors, flavors, sensations, but you are certainly not f**king empowered. When you're stoned, you're lucky if you can find your own goddamn feet. The only way it's a performance-enhancing drug is if there's a big f**king Hershey bar at the end of the run. Then you'll be like a Swiss ski jumper going, "I'm there!""

The essential truth is that sometimes you're worried that they'll find out it's a fluke,...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

In the process of looking for comedy, you have to be deeply honest. And in doing that, you'll fi...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I left school and couldn't find acting work, so I started going to clubs where you could do stan...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

There's a show in America where all these people compete with ferrets, and they don't even d...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I loved running, but all of a sudden everything hurt so much. I started cycling when Zelda was born.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The idea of having a steady job is appealing.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I'm much more open to being a supporting actor right now. At the age of 60, I'll be second f...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Winning an Oscar is an honor, but, between you and me, it does not makes things easier.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Tweets? That stuff kills conversation. And people taking pictures with their phone or recording you,...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You have this idea that you'd better keep working otherwise people will forget. And that was dan...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I love kids, but they are a tough audience.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I don't have a college degree, and my father didn't have a college degree, so when my son, Z...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I met Nelson Mandela, and I really didn't know what to say. It was years ago at a benefit. I was...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When Jonathan Winters died, it was like, 'Oh, man!' I knew he was frail, but I always though...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

A lot of vets like 'Good Morning Vietnam' - I get great letters from guys.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I bought one of the first Nintendo systems and brought that home, and we were playing 'Legend of...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of be...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

One of my favourite actors of all time, although he doesn't necessarily play villains, is Peter ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I think 'Dead Poets' was probably my favorite, just to get started with the idea of doing a ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I think it's great when stories are dark and strange and weirdly personal.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I loved school, maybe too much, really. I was summa cum laude in high school. I was driven that way.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Acting is different from stand-up. It gives you this ability to enter into another character, to cre...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Reality: What a concept!
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Comedy can be a cathartic way to deal with personal trauma.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The improv, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but when it does, it's like open-field...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

In 'The Secret Agent,' it's basically a character that was admired by Theodore Kaczynski...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

My mother's idea of natural childbirth was giving birth without makeup. She was hyper-positive -...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I was only a leading man for a minute; now I'm a character actor.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Sometimes you have to make a movie to make money.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I don't do well with snakes and I can't dance.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Performing comedy in San Francisco to begin with is pretty wild. You've got to - you've got ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I only ever play Vegas one night at a time. It's a hideous, gaudy place; it may not be the end o...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills - no, no. They...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Do I perform sometimes in a manic style? Yes. Am I manic all the time? No. Do I get sad? Oh yeah. Do...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

In America they really do mythologise people when they die.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone i...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I basically started performing for my mother, going, 'Love me!' What drives you to perform i...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Death is nature's way of saying, Your table's ready.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. -Robin Williams.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Carpe per diem - seize the check.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Neil: The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Freud: If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures�...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a ti...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Mr. Keating: Seize the day! Make your lives extraordinary.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Mr. Keating: Carpe Diem! Sieze the day!
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Spring is nature's way of saying, "Let's party!"
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If ballet were easy, they'd call it football
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Cocaine is God's way of telling you you're making too much money.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Divorce is expensive. I used to joke they were going to call it 'all the money,' but they ch...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Sometimes over things that I did, movies that didn't turn out very well - you go, 'Why did y...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The 'Aladdin' thing - that's not work; that's just fun. Three days in the recording ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

From the point of view of being in the public radar, comedians have less problems than other actors....
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I write on big yellow legal pads - ideas in outline form when I'm doing stand-up and stuff. It&#...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'
ROBIN WILLIAMS

No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I do believe in love; it's wonderful - especially love third time around, it's even more pre...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in l...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

It's hard when you read an article saying bad things about you. It is as if someone is sticking ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, 'Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.&...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Okra is the closest thing to nylon I've ever eaten. It's like they bred cotton with a green ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I knew Matt Damon and Ben Affleck were really talented. As actors, they were both studly young men, ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Ah yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I have a difficult time doing an Irish accent; even now, it kind of fades slowly into Scottish.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately, it kills all of its students.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a t...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Comedy is acting out optimism.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Cocaine is God's way of saying that you're making too much money.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot-tall RAT!
ROBIN WILLIAMS

There have been two different drafts (of the script). The hard part about following it up is at the ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The moments of comedy are there. But the whole idea of a vacation is the stripping away of stuff and...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

They make these outrageous comedies and just use these kids as props. They're not beings who are tra...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Without (the reality), it's just slamming into things. If you start with that physical comedy, then ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I feel like I'm a big human snot.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

a weird combination of isolation and connection and disconnection; discomfort and awkwardness.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When exactly did Ted Kennedy become Jabba the Hutt? He's not a macy's day float! Bring him down it's...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I still think Nancy does most of his talking; you'll notice that she never drinks water when Ronnie ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

He loved politics. He was always an activist on that level, always a fighter.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I am job...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The only weapon we have is comedy.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Gay robbers came in last night and rearranged the living room
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We've been through quite a few. We're very aware and cautious with hurricanes,
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Bicentennial Man,
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I'm going to go to Kennebunkport and see if they respond any quicker!
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We show-ed a lot of intensity on defense early. But we missed one of our point guards who is the spa...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We are so excited about adding additional incentives to the program. It gives them a fun reason to e...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

But only in their dreams can men be truly free It was always thus and always thus will be.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The brightest light has gone out.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

God gave us a penis and a brain, but not enough blood to use both at the same time
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Being a famous print journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I believe that once we are all gone, Keith Richards will still be here...with 5 cockroaches saying '...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I'm looking for Miss Right, or at least, Miss Right Now
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I like my wine like my women -- ready to pass out.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We're all worms, but I do believe I'm a glowworm.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

They tell me now that SpongeBob is gay. SquarePants is not gay. Tight pants maybe. SpongeBob Hot Pan...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in th...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Look at us -- we're a San Francisco wedding cake.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The only people flying to Europe will be terrorists, so it will be, "Will you be sitting in armed or...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Being in the same room with people and creating something together is a good thing.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

What is a stealth bomber? It's a bomber that doesn't show up on radar, and you can't see it. Then we...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you comm...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When the media ask him [George W. Bush] a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

There are so many beautiful parts of the world . . . Thailand, Italy, the south of France. There are...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Carpe per diem-seize the check.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

With film roles, it just has to be a character either I haven't done before, or a role with some...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Freud: If its not one thing, its your mother.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Politics: Poli a Latin word meaning many; and "tics" meaning bloodsucking creatures.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We Americans, we're a simple people . . . but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictator...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Men wearing pants so tight that you can tell what religion they are.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
ROBIN WILLIAMS

It felt wonderful doing it. But that's rather like urinating in brown velvet pants. It can feel wond...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I was an only child. I did have kind of like a lonely existence. The idea of being a character who i...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You can start any 'Monty Python' routine and people finish it for you. Everyone knows it lik...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

My religious background is that my mother is a Christian Dior Scientist.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

[· Also on DVD: A two-disc] Fern Gully . . . The Last Rainforest, ... Pet Alien.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Steve was that little boy in 'Deliverance' who played the banjo,
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We're dealing with fundamentalists... the Amish are fundamentalists, but they don't try and hijack a...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

. . . when you have a great audience, you can just keep going and finding new things.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

And then there was [Secretary of Defense Donald] Rumsfeld coming out and saying, "I don't know when....
ROBIN WILLIAMS

And I love to ride my bike, which is great aerobics, but also just a great time for me to think, so ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

It has this scope that's outrageous, but yet at the core, these very intimate scenes, so that alone ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so . . . look at the platypus.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I had a lovely military flight, thank you. I love spiraling in -- nothing like that to make your col...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The brightest light has gone out. We will forever celebrate her loving spirit.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

[I was] hoping for the fallout of girls that would go for him. I was kind of his fool. We went throu...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I think it takes Barry.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

After a while, you just kind of chill. It just becomes a whole different lifestyle and no one bother...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We are so thrilled that Watson has partnered with us as we continue to improve the health care in ou...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

It's a wonderful feeling when your father becomes not a god but a man to you- when he comes down fro...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

His golf bag does not contain a full set of irons.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If you can remember the sixties, you weren't there.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying, "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

If you masturbated with your left hand, would it be like being touched by a retarded person?
ROBIN WILLIAMS

When the Williams sisters play tennis, it gets pretty hot. When they start grunting, I'm in.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy...like nailing jelly to a tree for ex...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it�...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

We constantly stress defense and that was the difference.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

I believe in destiny. There must be a reason that I am as I am. There must be.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You're only given a spark of madness. You musn't lose it.
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures".
ROBIN WILLIAMS

Why do they call it rush hour if no one moves?
ROBIN WILLIAMS

God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the ...
ROBIN WILLIAMS

You can fool some of the people some of the time and the rest you can jerk off
ROBIN MCLAURIN WILLIAMS

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
ROBIN MCLAURIN WILLIAMS

The problem is, God gave man a brain and a penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.
ROBIN MCLAURIN WILLIAMS

See what I mean? You gotta be crazy. Ain't no time to be sane.
ROBIN MCLAURIN WILLIAMS

Sometimes I regret that the wonderful children's stories that have been made into movies were - ...
ROBIN HOBB

Commerce is against morality. Morality is going to lose every time.
ROBIN DAY

I was also lucky to play for an owner, Bud Selig, who truly cared about his players. He'd call m...
ROBIN YOUNT

Bob Dylan and John Lennon and Bruce Springsteen, these are soul guys. Bruce Springsteen might not si...
ROBIN THICKE

I think ever since I started to read, there have been favorite novels for different stages of my lif...
ROBIN HOBB

I developed the pilot for 'Entertainment Tonight' with Jack Haley, Jr. and Al Masini, who be...
ROBIN LEACH

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