marathon: (noun) A popular form of overpriced torture wherein participants wake up at ass-o-clock in the morning and stand in the freezing cold until it's time to run, at which point they miserably trot for a god-awful interval of time that could be better spent sleeping in and/or consuming large quantities of beer and cupcakes.See also: masochism, awfulness, "a bunch of bullshit", boob-chafing, cupcake deprivation therapy
Matthew Inman
Related Absoballylutely top hole, wot. A and B the C of D I'd say. . . Above and Beyond the Call of Duty. BRIAN JACQUES I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON BLUE SWEATER Bom Bom... Bom Bom... Bom Bom... Do you hear tha... COLLEEN HOOVER I realized that day that blessings come in a variety of shapes, colors, and sizes. CRAIG GROESCHEL I got schooled this yearby a boy . A boy that I'm seriously, dee... COLLEEN HOOVER It’s worth all the aches, All the tears, the mistakes… COLLEEN HOOVER Sometimes life gets in your
way.
it gets all up in your damn
way. COLLEEN HOOVER It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and... QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr... QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as... QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters... QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o... QUEEN ELIZABETH II So I'm not about to apologize for loving all these things about you, no matter the reasons or the ci... COLLEEN HOOVER The small hand of a clock taps me at one and two, three and four, whispering hello, get up, stand up... TAHEREH MAFI MEMORY'S SO
TREACHEROUS.
ONE MOMENT YOU'RE LOST IN A
CARNIVAL
OF... ALAN MOORE And life
definitely
doesn't want me To just let it
tell
<... COLLEEN HOOVER We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world. PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th... ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ... ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker. ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes. ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment. ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.' ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha... ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person. ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me... ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au... ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about. ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media. ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive. ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ... ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken. ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows. ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real... ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha... ZARA PHILLIPS In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don... ZARA PHILLIPS I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one. ZARA PHILLIPS Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs. KING JAMES I My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them... MARIE ANTOINETTE I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina... WALLIS SIMPSON PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea... WALLIS SIMPSON I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w... WALLIS SIMPSON I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave. WALLIS SIMPSON I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me. WALLIS SIMPSON A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe... WALLIS SIMPSON Never explain, never complain. WALLIS SIMPSON You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance. WALLIS SIMPSON I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers. WALLIS SIMPSON For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat. WALLIS SIMPSON Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting. WALLIS SIMPSON You can never be too rich or too thin. WALLIS SIMPSON A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. KING SOLOMON It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most... FREDERICK THE GREAT Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All... KATE MIDDLETON There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all. MARIE ANTOINETTE I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It... QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist. QUEEN VICTORIA I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman. KING JAMES I I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse. CHARLES V I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister. KATE MIDDLETON It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;... MARIE ANTOINETTE I found Rome a city of bricks and left it a city of marble. AUGUSTUS
More Matthew Inman
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MATTHEW STEWART I slip from workaholic to bum real easy. MATTHEW BRODERICK Conduct is three-fourths of our life and its largest concern. MATTHEW ARNOLD Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY Life is full of confusion. Confusion of love, passion, and romance. Confusion of family and friends.... MATTHEW UNDERWOOD After a storm comes a calm. MATTHEW HENRY The typical Western is kind of a good-guy/bad-guy thing, and that's great, but initially when I ... MATTHEW SETTLE An environmentalist can oppose factory farming because it's reckless stewardship. A conservative... MATTHEW SCULLY I like quips. I like whiffs of cynicism and I think they can be witty. But I don't really know w... MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY I think the discipline comes with turning that cellphone and Blackberry off and unplugging completel... MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY I'm from a family of bankers and businessmen, and here I am, the artist, the black sheep. MATTHEW QUICK Bud Powell's probably the biggest influence on my piano playing. MATTHEW SHIPP Not letting the world destroy you. That’s a daily battle. MATTHEW QUICK I feel like I’m broken—like I don’t fit together anymore. Like there’s no more room for me i... MATTHEW QUICK Arguably, the families most at need of housing assistance are systematically denied it because they&... MATTHEW DESMOND Something like 'Without a Paddle' does really well at the box office and I'm like, '... MATTHEW LILLARD I'm a great bowler. I was in a couple of leagues as a kid. MATTHEW MORRISON Some British actors are snobby about telly, and I don't understand that. MATTHEW MACFADYEN I have very fond memories of the '80s; they were very formative years for me. I certainly rememb... MATTHEW RHYS I've always lived by the ocean, and I always will. There's nothing like taking a walk and be... MATTHEW UNDERWOOD No, no! The energy of life may be
Kept on after the grave, but not begun;
And he who flagg'd ... MATTHEW ARNOLD I want to play the Green Lantern. I'd love to do a comic book hero. Go to the gym, get all buff,... MATTHEW SETTLE Romcoms are hard in a lot of ways: they're built to be buoyant. It's easy to demean them. MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY Yeah, I did a cameo in an upcoming movie called Constantine. MATTHEW MCGRORY A lot of the stories about urban America tend to be written on the margins. We focus a lot on these ... MATTHEW DESMOND In my twenties, I thought I was Robert De Niro and I invested all of myself in my acting. But, as I&... MATTHEW RHYS Character actors are becoming a thing of the past. They're just going by the wayside. They'r... MATTHEW LILLARD Veal, by definition, is the product of a sick, anemic, deliberately malnourished calf, a newborn dra... MATTHEW SCULLY As much as I long for a sort of security and consistency sometimes, I do enjoy sort of being busted ... MATTHEW MACFADYEN We mislead ourselves when we pretend we can make someone into an effective manager by putting them t... MATTHEW STEWART I love Los Angeles, and it's been very good to me, but if everyone is running around telling the... MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY It's weird how your perspective changes. At the start of your career, you think, 'I just wan... MATTHEW RHYS Children of men! the unseen Power, whose eye
Forever doth accompany mankind,
Hath look'd on n... MATTHEW ARNOLD I was prepared for the theatre, but not for the nuts and bolts. MATTHEW ASHFORD The true meaning of religion is thus not simply morality, but morality touched by emotion. MATTHEW ARNOLD When I wrote 'Silver Linings,' I thought I was writing a book about the Philadelphia Eagles ... MATTHEW QUICK Odin, thou whirlwind, what a threat is this
Thou threatenest what transcends thy might, even thine... MATTHEW ARNOLD Nature's great law, and law of all men's minds?--
To its own impulse every creature stirs;
Liv... MATTHEW ARNOLD On one she smiles, and he was blest;
She smiles elsewhere--we make a din!
But 'twas not love w... MATTHEW ARNOLD A Rechabite poor Will must live,
And drink of Adam's ale. MATTHEW PRIOR The male is always the pawn in a romantic comedy. Come together, break up, go chase her, get her, ro... MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY Be to their virtue very kind; be to their faults a little blind. MATTHEW PRIOR We ourselves can die with comfort and even with joy if we know that death is but a passport to bless... MATTHEW SIMPSON For hope is but the dream of those that wake. -Matthew Prior. MATTHEW PRIOR Experience join'd with common sense,
To mortals is a providence. MATTHEW GREEN Soft peace she brings, wherever she arrives:
She builds our quiet, as she forms our lives:
Lay... MATTHEW PRIOR You're different. And I'm different too. Different is good. But different is hard. Believe me, I kno... MATTHEW QUICK Man was born for society. However little He may be attached to the World, He never can wholly forget... MATTHEW LEWIS We sell here, Sir, what all the world desires to have -- Power. MATTHEW BOULTON There are two types of teachers in the world: there are those who play school and teachers that teac... MATTHEW DICKS Dare to Differ MATTHEW GOLDFINGER Regarding factory-farmed animals We owe them a merciful death, and we owe them a merciful life. And ... MATTHEW SCULLY Looking for and enjoying beauty is a way to nourish the soul. the universe is in the habit of making... MATTHEW FOX In argument similes are like songs in love; they describe much, but prove nothing. MATTHEW PRIOR And 'tis remarkable that they talk most who have the least to say. MATTHEW PRIOR They never taste who always drink; they always talk who never think. MATTHEW PRIOR Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician. MATTHEW PRIOR To John I owed great obligation; but John, unhappily, thought fit to publish it to all the nation: S... MATTHEW PRIOR Unquiet souls. In the dark fermentation of earth, in the never idle workshop of nature, in the etern... MATTHEW ARNOLD Hopes are but the dreams of those that wake. MATTHEW PRIOR Who walks the fastest, but walks astray, is only furthest from his way. MATTHEW PRIOR One lesson we can learn from pre-industrial peoples is the power of storytelling. I am struck by how... MATTHEW FOX Odds life! must one swear to the truth of a song? MATTHEW PRIOR With aching hands and bleeding feet We dig and heap, lay stone on stone; We bear the burden a... MATTHEW ARNOLD The true meaning of religion is thus, not simply morality, but morality touched by emotion. MATTHEW ARNOLD Forbear to mention what thou canst not praise. MATTHEW PRIOR With close-lipped Patience for our only friend, Sad Patience, too near neighbor to Despair. MATTHEW ARNOLD 'Tis not to see the world As from a height, with rapt prophetic eyes, And heart profoundly sti... MATTHEW ARNOLD Truth sits upon the lips of dying men. MATTHEW ARNOLD Bald as the bare mountain tops are bald, with a baldness full of grandeur. MATTHEW ARNOLD But each day brings its petty dust our soon-choked souls to fill, and we forget because we must, and... MATTHEW ARNOLD The ends must justify the means. MATTHEW PRIOR The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. MATTHEW ARNOLD Inner work is finding joy in work. Our real work is heart work and soul work. MATTHEW FOX Home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs, and unpopular names, and impossible loyalties! MATTHEW ARNOLD That she's the worst driver in the history of drivers. If I know she's going somewhere, I stay home.... MATTHEW PERRY This strange disease of modern life, with its sick hurry, its divided aims. MATTHEW ARNOLD Greatness is a spiritual condition. MATTHEW ARNOLD Life is not a having and a getting, but a being and a becoming. MATTHEW ARNOLD Still bent to make some port he knows not where, still standing for some false impossible shore. MATTHEW ARNOLD The need of expansion is as genuine an instinct in man as the need in a plant for the light, or the ... MATTHEW ARNOLD Avarice is the sphincter of the heart. MATTHEW GREEN Journalism is literature in a hurry. MATTHEW ARNOLD Or to some coffee-house I stray, For news, the manna of the day, And from the hipp MATTHEW GREEN The working-class is now issuing from its hiding-place to assert an Englishman's heaven-born privile... MATTHEW ARNOLD If experience has established any one thing in this world, it has established this: that it is well ... MATTHEW ARNOLD And that sweet city with her dreaming spires, She needs not June for beauty's heightening... MATTHEW ARNOLD Protestantism has the method of Jesus with His secret too much left out of mind; Catholicism has His... MATTHEW ARNOLD Cruel, but composed and bland, Dumb, inscrutable and grand, So Tiberius might have sat, Had... MATTHEW ARNOLD Resolve to be thyself: and know, that he who finds himself, loses his misery. MATTHEW ARNOLD Because thou must not dream, thou need not despair. MATTHEW ARNOLD Light half-believers of our casual creeds, who never deeply felt, nor clearly will d, whose insight ... MATTHEW ARNOLD People think that I can teach them style. What stuff it all is. Have something to say and say it as ... MATTHEW ARNOLD Our society distributes itself into Barbarians, Philistines and Populace; and America is just oursel... MATTHEW ARNOLD Culture, then, is a study of perfection, and perfection which insists on becoming something rather t... MATTHEW ARNOLD Culture, the acquainting ourselves with the best that has been known and said in the world, and thus... MATTHEW ARNOLD The East bow'd low before the blast,
In patient, deep disdain.
She let the legions thunder pas... MATTHEW ARNOLD I never strove to rule the roast,
She ne'er refus'd to pledge my toast. MATTHEW PRIOR Today's Catholic church seems to reward authoritarian personalities who are clearly ill, violent, se... MATTHEW FOX At night astronomers agree. MATTHEW PRIOR I must not say that she was true,
Yet let me say that she was fair;
And they, that lovely face... MATTHEW ARNOLD Then gazing up 'mid the dim pillars high,
The foliaged marble forest where ye lie,
Hush, ye wi... MATTHEW ARNOLD Now fitted the halter, now travers'd the cart,
And often took leave; but was loth to part. MATTHEW PRIOR Youth dreams a bliss on this side of death.
It dreams a rest, if not more deep,
More grateful ... MATTHEW ARNOLD To err is human. MATTHEW PRIOR The end must justify the means. MATTHEW PRIOR I met a preacher there I knew, and said,
Ill and overworked, how fare you in this scene?
Brave... MATTHEW ARNOLD Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a l... MATTHEW ARNOLD What then remains, but that we still should cry
Not to be born, or being born to die. MATTHEW ARNOLD God's Wisdom and God's Goodness!--Ah, but fools
Mis-define thee, till God knows them no more.
... MATTHEW ARNOLD Others abide our question. Thou art free.
We ask and ask--Thou smilest and art still,
Out-top... MATTHEW ARNOLD Hark! ah, the nightingale--
The tawny-throated!
Hark from that moonlit cedar what a burst!
... MATTHEW ARNOLD On Sundays, at the matin-chime,
The Alpine peasants, two and three,
Climb up here to pray;
... MATTHEW ARNOLD Six years--six little years--six drops of time. MATTHEW ARNOLD They live that they may eat, but he himself [Socrates] eats that
he may live. MATTHEW ARNOLD This strange disease of modern life,
With its sick hurry, its divided aims. MATTHEW ARNOLD The Greek word euphuia, a finely tempered nature, gives exactly
the notion of perfection as culture... MATTHEW ARNOLD Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's
troublesome. MATTHEW ARNOLD With aching hands and bleeding feet
We dig and heap, lay stone on stone;
We bear the burden an... MATTHEW ARNOLD What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls
a butterfly. MATTHEW ARNOLD Her cabin'd ample spirit,
It fluttered and fail'd for breath;
Tonight it doth inherit
Th... MATTHEW ARNOLD Culture is "To know the best that has been said and thought in
the world." MATTHEW ARNOLD Christianity is a source; no one supply of water and refreshment that comes from it can be called th... MATTHEW ARNOLD Culture is the passion for sweetness and light, and (what is
more) the passion for making them prev... MATTHEW ARNOLD The pursuit of the perfect, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and
light. MATTHEW ARNOLD One thing only has been lent to youth and age in common--discontent. MATTHEW ARNOLD Live to explain thy doctrine by thy life.
- Matthew Prior, MATTHEW PRIOR The true meaning of religion is thus not simply morality, but morality touched by emotion. MATTHEW ARNOLD Thy sum of duty let two words contain,
(O may they graven in thy heart remain!)
Be humble and ... MATTHEW PRIOR They talk most who have the least to say. MATTHEW PRIOR We are here on earth to do good to others. What the others are
here for, I do not know. MATTHEW ARNOLD Saw life steadily and saw it whole. MATTHEW ARNOLD [Oxford] Home of lost causes, and forsaken beliefs and unpopular
names and impossible loyalties. MATTHEW ARNOLD The freethinking of one age is the common sense of the next. MATTHEW ARNOLD If Paris that brief flight allow,
My humble tomb explore!
It bears: "Eternity, be thou
... MATTHEW ARNOLD