Make sure that the inside spread of the buck's rack is wider than the tips of the ears. To be safe, look for some daylight between the inside of the main beams and the tips of his ears.
Mitch Lockwood
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES I don't know if I have a favorite color. KATE MIDDLETON It's very special having a new little girl. KATE MIDDLETON She said 'Over my dead body!' so I took her at her word. DIANA WYNNE JONES The end of the world is a strange concept. The world is always ending, and the end is always being a... NEIL GAIMAN What is the Other?" they ask. The Other is the one who taught me whatI should be like, but not ... PAULO COELHO Look, my friends!' he called. 'Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an elven princeling in! If it wer... J.R.R. TOLKIEN From the Kindle Book Reflections in the Mirror of Life: “In a slum somewhere in India As... THE PROPHET OF LIFE The unfortunate thing is that, sometimes, we slip, but, fortunately, consciously or unconsciously, w... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH It's all to do with the training: you can do a lot if you're properly trained. QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters and... QUEEN ELIZABETH II My husband has quite simply been my strength and stay all these years, and I owe him a debt greater ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II It is easy enough to define what the Commonwealth is not. Indeed this is quite a popular pastime. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have to be seen to be believed. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have in sincerity pledged myself to your service, as so many of you are pledged to mine. Throughou... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I hope that tomorrow we can all, wherever we are, join in expressing our grief at Diana's loss, ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I myself prefer my New Zealand eggs for breakfast. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The British constitution has always been puzzling and always will be. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have behind me not only the splendid traditions and the annals of more than a thousand years but t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To what greater inspiration and counsel can we turn than to the imperishable truth to be found in th... QUEEN ELIZABETH II What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II First, I want to pay tribute to Diana myself. She was an exceptional and gifted human being. In good... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I cannot lead you into battle. I do not give you laws or administer justice but I can do something e... QUEEN ELIZABETH II To all those who have suffered as a consequence of our troubled past I extend my sincere thoughts an... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Grief is the price we pay for love. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The upward course of a nation's history is due in the long run to the soundness of heart of its ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At its heart, engineering is about using science to find creative, practical solutions. It is a nobl... QUEEN ELIZABETH II At Christmas, I am always struck by how the spirit of togetherness lies also at the heart of the Chr... QUEEN ELIZABETH II For many, Christmas is also a time for coming together. But for others, service will come first. QUEEN ELIZABETH II The lessons from the peace process are clear; whatever life throws at us, our individual responses w... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I declare before you all that my whole life, whether it be long or short, shall be devoted to your s... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Therefore I am sure that this, my Coronation, is not the symbol of a power and a splendor that are g... QUEEN ELIZABETH II We lost the American colonies because we lacked the statesmanship to know the right time and the man... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Madam President, speaking here in Dublin Castle it is impossible to ignore the weight of history, as... QUEEN ELIZABETH II These wretched babies don't come until they are ready. QUEEN ELIZABETH II I know of no single formula for success. But over the years I have observed that some attributes of ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II The events that I have attended to mark my Diamond Jubilee have been a humbling experience. It has t... QUEEN ELIZABETH II In remembering the appalling suffering of war on both sides, we recognise how precious is the peace ... QUEEN ELIZABETH II Like all the best families, we have our share of eccentricities, of impetuous and wayward youngsters... QUEEN ELIZABETH II No one who knew Diana will ever forget her. Millions of others who never met her, but felt they knew... QUEEN ELIZABETH II I have been aware all the time that my peoples, spread far and wide throughout every continent and o... QUEEN ELIZABETH II May I never neither turn left nor turn right in my journey of life, but may I go straight to Christ ... ERNEST AGYEMANG YEBOAH Here was one with an air of high nobility such as Aragorn at times revealed, less high perhaps, yet ... J.R.R. TOLKIEN Hail to you gods, on that day of the great reckoning. Behold me, I have come to you, without sin, wi... THE BOOK OF THE DEAD When a man takes one step toward God, God takes more steps toward that man than there are sands in t... THE WORK OF THE CHARIOT We'll sort of get over the marriage first and then maybe look at the kids. But obviously we want... PRINCE WILLIAM Family is the most important thing in the world. PRINCESS DIANA You philosophers are lucky men. You write on paper and paper is patient. Unfortunate Empress that I ... CATHERINE THE GREAT With the right help, children have a good chance of overcoming their issues while they are still you... KATE MIDDLETON As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend. KING SOLOMON I don't mind a big fascinator. I think there is more scope for artwork in a fascinator rather th... ZARA PHILLIPS I was always told from the hat-makers that you should have your hair up because it shows the hat mor... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think I'll still be riding at 40. There are a couple of people who are still riding ... ZARA PHILLIPS My dad's not a big talker. ZARA PHILLIPS My dad can be pretty critical sometimes. ZARA PHILLIPS I'd love to have kids, but not at the moment. ZARA PHILLIPS You cannot make horses 'safe.' ZARA PHILLIPS Virtually everything that gets printed about me is wrong anyway, so it doesn't really matter wha... ZARA PHILLIPS It's stupid to say that I don't like being in the public eye, but I don't like doing stu... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm an affectionate person. ZARA PHILLIPS People still text me to say that there is something about me in the paper, and what really annoys me... ZARA PHILLIPS Sometimes people will come up in the street and say: 'My daughter loves you, will you sign an au... ZARA PHILLIPS Taking part in an Olympics on home ground is something you dream about. ZARA PHILLIPS My brother and I have been able to get on and have been very lucky to do things with our family that... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't think about the media. ZARA PHILLIPS I love the sport and being competitive. ZARA PHILLIPS The horses are all characters, all personalities. Some you get along with, some you don't, some ... ZARA PHILLIPS I hate having my picture taken. ZARA PHILLIPS Unfortunately in sport it's either good or bad. You've got to take the highs and the lows. ZARA PHILLIPS My mother is massively into sailing, so we always had Musto clothes, and it went on from there, real... ZARA PHILLIPS The senior members of the royal family work very hard and I don't think people quite realise tha... ZARA PHILLIPS In our sport you're very lucky to find a horse of a lifetime and I found mine relatively early. ... ZARA PHILLIPS I don't have a stylist, and I do most of my shopping online, just because it's easier. I don... ZARA PHILLIPS I think Facebook's dangerous. So many people I know get into trouble with Facebook... I'd ra... ZARA PHILLIPS I'm not a princess anyway so I find that quite weird to be labelled as one. ZARA PHILLIPS Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs. KING JAMES I My dear mamma is quite right when she says that we must lay down principles and not depart from them... MARIE ANTOINETTE I never make a trip to the United States without visiting a supermarket. To me they are more fascina... WALLIS SIMPSON PS: It's all gossip about the prince. I'm not in the habit of taking my girlfriends' bea... WALLIS SIMPSON I am so anxious for you not to abdicate and I think the fact that you do is going to put me in the w... WALLIS SIMPSON I hate this place. I shall hate it to my grave. WALLIS SIMPSON I look a hundred and weigh 110 - you won't love me when you see the wreck England has made me. WALLIS SIMPSON A woman's life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compe... WALLIS SIMPSON Never explain, never complain. WALLIS SIMPSON You have no idea how hard it is to live out a great romance. WALLIS SIMPSON I have always had the courage for the new things that life sometimes offers. WALLIS SIMPSON For a gallant spirit there can never be defeat. WALLIS SIMPSON Forgive me for not writing but this man is exhausting. WALLIS SIMPSON You can never be too rich or too thin. WALLIS SIMPSON A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. KING SOLOMON It seems to me that man is made to act rather than to know: the principles of things escape our most... FREDERICK THE GREAT Addiction is a hugely complex and destructive disease, and its impact can be simply devastating. All... KATE MIDDLETON There is nothing new except what has been forgotten. MARIE ANTOINETTE I have seen all, I have heard all, I have forgotten all. MARIE ANTOINETTE I think change needs to be egoless. It's not about my leaving my fingerprints or a legacy. It... QUEEN RANIA OF JORDAN We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. They do not exist. QUEEN VICTORIA I can make a lord, but only God can make a gentleman. KING JAMES I I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse. CHARLES V I feel very, very lucky that George has got a little sister. KATE MIDDLETON It would be doing me great injustice to think that I have any feeling of indifference to my country;... MARIE ANTOINETTE
More Mitch Lockwood
I'm a typical California boy. GARY LOCKWOOD I finally bought a gun because I said if I'm going to get it, I'm taking somebody with me. GARY LOCKWOOD I don't watch television. I'm not a TV guy. GARY LOCKWOOD Star Trek wouldn't die. There were a whole lot of young people who were touched by the thought p... GARY LOCKWOOD If nations could only depend upon fair and impartial judgments in a world court of law, they would... BELVA LOCKWOOD The glory of each generation is to make its own precedents. BELVA LOCKWOOD If nations could only depend upon fair and impartial judgments in a world court of law, they would a... BELVA LOCKWOOD No one can claim to be called Christian who gives money for the building of warships and arsenals. BELVA LOCKWOOD I know we can't abolish prejudice through laws, but we can set up guidelines for our actions by legi... BELVA LOCKWOOD I do not believe in sex distinction in literature, law, politics, or trade - or that modesty and vir... BELVA LOCKWOOD There were horrific cases occurring among women going through a trial of labor. There's a lot of har... CHARLES LOCKWOOD Up until the mid-19th century serving refreshments and socializing on the stoops was done by every i... CHARLES LOCKWOOD I showed up at 9 and at about 10 the hail started coming down. About 11:30 or 12 we started seeing c... TIM LOCKWOOD Although boomers are clearly and profoundly involved in every aspect of their parents' care, these d... DAVID LOCKWOOD I know we can't abolish prejudice through laws, but we can set up guidelines for our actions by ... BELVA LOCKWOOD You're a step and a half closer to first base. BILL LOCKWOOD Maryland is the first state that seems to be going section-by-section through the bill, because so m... SKIP LOCKWOOD He tried to stretch it to a triple, but he gout caught up with the third baseman a little bit and ja... TIM LOCKWOOD Now that canker's in the large citrus groves and can't be controlled, they would literally be wiping... DOUG LOCKWOOD True love is taking the risk that it won't be a happily-ever-after. True love is joining hands with ... CARA LOCKWOOD That commission is going to hell in a hand basket. BILL LOCKWOOD He's lucky. He has the best of both worlds. BILL LOCKWOOD That requires the heavy lift ship to actually ballast or flood down. It could appear to the casual o... JOHN LOCKWOOD There is very clear data that inducing labor at this point reduces the number of cesarean sections b... CHARLES LOCKWOOD I think a lot (of the increase) has come about because physicians don't want to be awakened in the m... CHARLES LOCKWOOD Andy can never undo the damage that his actions have caused. However, he has paid the price - his ac... CHARLES LOCKWOOD Life hasn't really gone back to normal yet, but then it never really was normal, because [after the ... NATASHA LOCKWOOD It's not really a grieving process. I don't know what to call it, GLENN LOCKWOOD My family was actually better than I was [about e-mailing]. NATASHA LOCKWOOD Basically, our lives were put on hold. A lot of stuff I had to do on my own. NATASHA LOCKWOOD I think it would have been harder if we had kids...for me it was just taking care of myself. NATASHA LOCKWOOD People need to take their time. If they do, it will be worth their while. DOUG LOCKWOOD Tremendous pressure was applied on both the Agriculture Department and the USDA to go to a Plan B. DOUG LOCKWOOD The death of pension plans. DOUG LOCKWOOD It's a demographic that we had to pay attention to. DOUG LOCKWOOD My father despises cats. He believes them to be Democrats. He considers them to be little mean hilla... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD Above all else, he loves trilogies. There has never been a trilogy he didn't like, and if you don't ... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD As they perform this ritual, I almost have to turn away, thinking again what a boomeranging, out-of-... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD The question for someone who was raised in a closed circle and then leaves it, is what is the us, an... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD Dads didn't care about lightning, because lightning was on the cover of all their favorite albums. S... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD Whenever someone says the word "month" to me, I call up an empty square filled with other empty squa... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD I'm not interested in heaven unless my anger gets to go there too. I'm not interested in a happy ete... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD All my life I have overheard, all my life I have listened to what people will let slip when they thi... PATRICIA LOCKWOOD Things are too fluid to be creating restrictive laws. We talk about scalable servers and scalable si... SKIP LOCKWOOD We're actually absorbing a lot of that space now. DAVID LOCKWOOD Historically, the parent and child relationship is a complicated one on many levels--particularly as... DAVID LOCKWOOD You don't hear enough about those stories. It's a great honor to have a kid like that to represent t... DAVID LOCKWOOD We're going to carry 13 on the varsity roster, with a couple guys we'll move up and down. A lot of t... TIM LOCKWOOD For us, it's a matter of not getting too far ahead of ourselves and making sure everyone is treated ... GLENN LOCKWOOD No one has been forced to get on a plane or bus or get an apartment. We want to work with these peop... GLENN LOCKWOOD That's our goal, but it's a soft date, because we're dealing with people and sometimes people don't ... GLENN LOCKWOOD Anyone is welcome, whether you are a member of the Y or not. It's a bunch of moms (preserving) memor... KRIS LOCKWOOD My mom sent me some Creative Memories products after my third child was born, and I loved it, so I s... KRIS LOCKWOOD We had a walk-off hit by pitch. We had a single to tie it. They intentionally walked the next guy to... TIM LOCKWOOD the best plan is changeable MITCH The essence of life is not in the great victories and grand failures, but in the simple joys. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE The epiphany was simply tucked away for consideration after we were back on campus. Sometimes a reve... JEFFREY A. LOCKWOOD A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Joy blooms where minds and hearts are open. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Play with life, laugh with life, dance lightly with life, and smile at the riddles of life, knowing ... JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
I say NO to the demands of... JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Forgiveness is the cleansing fire that burns away old regrets and resentments. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE The beauty does not live out there; the beauty's in my eyes. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Today, I Dance Lightly With Life. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Joy is a Choice - but Not an Easy Choice. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE To change who you are, change who you think you are. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE The magic words for a great relationship are, "I love you just the way you are." JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE You don’t have the power to make life “fair,” but you do have the power to make life joyful. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE A flower is a weed seen through joyful eyes. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE The darkest night is often the bridge to the brightest tomorrow. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Powerful Dreams Inspire Powerful Action.
When you can taste, smell, and touch your dreams, you can e... JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Fear is the root of the tree of suffering. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Hate destroys, Love builds.
Hate tears down, Love renews and creates.
Hatred holds no hope for the f... JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Celebrate endings - for they precede new beginnings. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE I am Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Choose the World You See, and See the World You Choose. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE I have no need to conform to the stereotypes others have defined for me. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Grant that I may radiate Thy Light, Thy Love, Thy Healing, Thy Joy, and Thy Peace to all t... JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE Today is Your Day to Dance Lightly with Life. It Really Is. JONATHAN LOCKWOOD HUIE By all means, let someone else have Pearl Harbor. CHARLES A. LOCKWOOD I hope no one will think of... sending me to Pearl Harbor. CHARLES A. LOCKWOOD I used to be a hot-tar roofer. Yeah, I remember that... day. MITCH HEDBERG Dogs are forever in the push up postion. MITCH HEDBERG I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long. MITCH HEDBERG I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me. MITCH HEDBERG I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was proli... MITCH HEDBERG If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be messed-up. MITCH HEDBERG I remixed a remix, it was back to normal. MITCH HEDBERG I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. MITCH HEDBERG People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has... MITCH HEDBERG This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty. MITCH HEDBERG When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away. MITCH HEDBERG All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. MITCH HEDBERG I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that b... MITCH HEDBERG The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a w... MITCH HEDBERG Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Rob... MITCH HEDBERG Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. MITCH HEDBERG A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. MITCH HEDBERG My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, s... MITCH HEDBERG People in the industry foresee a time in which, for many people, the only thing they'll need on ... MITCH KAPOR When business leaders ask me what they can do for Indiana, I always reply: 'Make money. Go make ... MITCH DANIELS I think we need to respect the wishes of voters. They have been busily at work making these decision... MITCH MCCONNELL I give Bill Gates an A for vision because, as a business person and a strategist, he's brilliant... MITCH KAPOR We did the two-year extension of Bush tax cuts in 2010. We negotiated the Budget Control Act in Augu... MITCH MCCONNELL I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're g... MITCH HEDBERG I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. MITCH HEDBERG The border is way more porous than it should be, and I think we'd be open to discussing anything... MITCH MCCONNELL My funeral," the Blue Man said. "Look at the mourners. Some did not even know me well, yet they came... MITCH ALBOM We're living under the Obama economy. Any CEO in America with a record like this after three yea... MITCH MCCONNELL People come down for baseball or football or hockey and drive by the refurbished Fox and State theat... MITCH ALBOM If you're always battling against getting older, you're always going to be unhappy, because it's goi... MITCH ALBOM My jaw dropped, ... I felt shame that I had to find out over the television, then felt sorrow and a ... MITCH ALBOM Since everyone was going to die, he could be of great value, right? ... He could be research. A huma... MITCH ALBOM You're not a wave, you're a part of the ocean. MITCH ALBOM A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any other invention with the possible exceptions ... MITCH RATCLIFFE Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a we... MITCH ALBOM You can’t substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense o... MITCH ALBOM Now you know how badly someone wanted you, Charley. Children forget that sometimes. They think of th... MITCH ALBOM Faith is about doing. You are how you act, not just how you believe. MITCH ALBOM You see, you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, y... MITCH ALBOM But she wasn’t around, and that’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of goin... MITCH ALBOM I drive a beat-up Mercury Cougar, with the windows down and the music up. I seek my identity in toug... MITCH ALBOM So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy do... MITCH ALBOM All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prin... MITCH ALBOM But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Som... MITCH ALBOM Death ends a life, not a relationship. MITCH ALBOM Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that's all. You can't see their smile or bring t... MITCH ALBOM The reason kids like rock 'n roll is their parents don't. MITCH MILLER A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possibl... MITCH RATLIFFE Lost love is still love. It takes a different form, that MITCH ALBOM Time is not what you think. Dying? Not the end of everything. We think it is. But what happens on ea... MITCH ALBOM People are only mean when they're threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our econ... MITCH ALBOM Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks th... MITCH ALBOM My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got h... MITCH HEDBERG A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possibl... MITCH RATCLIFFE Computers have enabled people to make more mistakes faster than almost any invention in history, wit... MITCH RATCLIFFE My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so...... MITCH HEDBERG Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, yo... MITCH HEDBERG I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the... MITCH HEDBERG when all this started, I asked myself, 'Am I going to withdraw from the world, like most people do, ... MITCH ALBOM I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, becau... MITCH HEDBERG I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughtnut... I don't need a receipt for the d... MITCH HEDBERG I mumble a lot off-stage, I'm a mumbler. If I'm walking with a friend and I say something, he won't ... MITCH HEDBERG I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio?... MITCH HEDBERG I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day. MITCH ALBOM I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know. MITCH ALBOM I don't know what it is about food your mother makes for you, especially when it's something that an... MITCH ALBOM Sometimes I wake up and I think I should start wearing a beret, but I don't do it. One day I'm gonna... MITCH HEDBERG Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is aweapon that attacks the... MITCH ALBOM I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. MITCH HEDBERG The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to yo... MITCH ALBOM Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults. MITCH HEDBERG The widespread adoption of broadband and the continued advances in personal computing technology are... MITCH KAPOR I had an amazing experience doing 'Skins.' It was the first acting I'd ever done in my e... MITCH HEWER Political corruption is endemic all over this country, in some places worse than others, right? On c... MITCH LANDRIEU There's an admirable belief about the virtues of meritocracy - that the best ideas prove the bes... MITCH KAPOR I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-ci... MITCH HEDBERG I'm a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone's life. MITCH HEDBERG My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfwa... MITCH HEDBERG I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. Th... MITCH HEDBERG If our nation goes over a financial Niagara, we won't have much strength and, eventually, we won... MITCH DANIELS It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have han... MITCH HEDBERG Among the weeds choking out growth and good government are the hundreds of boards, commissions, and ... MITCH DANIELS The critical thing in developing software is not the program, it's the design. It is translating... MITCH KAPOR I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. MITCH HEDBERG Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool Opotamus? MITCH HEDBERG I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. MITCH HEDBERG My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. MITCH HEDBERG I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and... MITCH HEDBERG An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporari... MITCH HEDBERG I would imagine that if you could understand Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy. MITCH HEDBERG You know when they have a fishing show on TV? They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't... MITCH HEDBERG We all lose somebody we care about and want to find some comforting way of dealing with it, somethin... MITCH ALBOM We’re so wrapped up with egotistical things, career, family, having enough money, meeting the mort... MITCH ALBOM There's a great deal of suspicion and misunderstanding about IT among practicing doctors. One he... MITCH KAPOR Today, Democrats not only have the White House; they have the Senate too. So we have to be realistic... MITCH MCCONNELL I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above their swirling waters,... MITCH ALBOM The perverse presumption that places the burden of proof on the challenger of spending must be inver... MITCH DANIELS I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. MITCH HEDBERG You have peace," the old woman said, "when you make it with yourself. MITCH ALBOM A human textbook. Study me in my slow and patient demise. Watch what happens to me. Learn with me. M... MITCH ALBOM Secrets tear you apart. MITCH ALBOM Reversing the escalation of health care costs is going to need more than legislation, yet it can be ... MITCH KAPOR Time," the Captain said, "is not what you think." He sat down next to Eddie. "Dying? Not the end of ... MITCH ALBOM It might seem strange to start a story with an ending. But all endings are also beginnings. We just ... MITCH ALBOM Scenery without solace is meaningless. MITCH ALBOM That's because no one is born with anger. And when we die, the soul is freed from it. But now, here,... MITCH ALBOM Courage is confused with picking up arms and cowardness is confused with laying them down. MITCH ALBOM It is because the human spirit knows, deep down, that all lives intersect. That death doesn't just t... MITCH ALBOM That's what heaven is. You get to make sense of your yesterdays MITCH ALBOM No story sits by itself, Sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another comp... MITCH ALBOM It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their ... MITCH ALBOM There are five people you meet in heaven. Each of us was in your life for a reason. You may not have... MITCH ALBOM Life has to end. Love doesn't. MITCH ALBOM Fairness," he said, 'does not govern life and death. If it did, no good person would ever die young. MITCH ALBOM