MANES, n. The immortal parts of dead Greeks and Romans. They were in a state of dull discomfort until the bodies from which they had exhaled were buried and burned; and they seem not to have been particularly happy afterward.
Ambrose Bierce
Related I like to open for a band as it brings on sort of a challenge and it makes things more interesting. ... KELLY JONES Now they have a riddle. - Criminal Minds DEYTH BANGER The rich were dull and they drank too much or they played too much backgammon. They were dull and th... ERNEST HEMINGWAY The rich were dull and they drank too much or they played too much backgammon. They were dull and th... ERNEST HEMINGWAY The Greeks believed that it was a citizen's duty to watch a play. It was a kind of work in that it r... TIMBERLAKE WERTENBAKER FEAST, n. A festival. A religious celebration usually signalized by gluttony and drunkenness, freque... AMBROSE BIERCE INFERIAE,n. [Latin] Among the Greeks and Romans, sacrifices for propitation of the _Dii Manes_, or s... AMBROSE BIERCE They were frisky, eager and exuberant, and they had all been friends in the States. They were plainl... JOSEPH HELLER Not too long ago, people, particularly men, worked until they were physically unable to work. Now, p... ROBERT FRIEDLAND They were overpowered, they were not shot, they were killed by knives and other metal objects. Some ... EMEKA UMEH The ancient Greeks and Romans were comfortable with any number of deities and were quite open to all... JAY PARINI They Learn to speak... and when they were at level "AVERAGE", they started making the rules and star... DEYTH BANGER I was a victim of violence... No reason for vileonce just few sucirity guards came... we were 3... t... DEYTH BANGER The claim at the heart of this book has been carefully researched by several generations of scholars... TERESA MORGAN We have located the area where they were buried by the avalanche and have begun digging through the ... BIKRAM NEUPANE They ended up in a dead-end and they had to turn the convoy around. They were in the kill zone and t... JOANNE BRADSHAW It was better not to care but sometimes, people got in. Like a knife against armor, they found the c... V.E. SCHWAB There are four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.” ~ Ambrose ... J.J. MCAVOY It's open to everybody - last year we had people who were just passing through Morrison and they sto... DON MARSH Reasons... questions... what they have in common? - All get finded in the hard way. DEYTH BANGER And when they were departed from him, (for they left him in great diseases,) his own servants conspi... BIBLE And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were i... BIBLE They weren't smiling and were looking in opposite directions, but it was as if their bodies flowed s... PAOLO GIORDANO We are fascinated with our own history, and we are fascinated with the Romans because they were mill... KIT HARINGTON If you go back to the Greeks and Romans, they talk about all three - wine, food, and art - as a way ... ROBERT MONDAVI In summary, the Romans were opposed to tyranny in any form; and the feature of government to which t... ROBERT W. WELCH, JR. No formal course in fiction-writing can equal a close and observant perusal of the stories of Edgar ... H. P. LOVECRAFT We had some sensory panelists evaluate the clothes afterward, and the smells were gone and they did ... BOB KARPEL Forced confessions were extracted from some of the hostages in which they were made to say on camera... WOLFGANG PETRITSCH They had been with their families from yesterday, but they were too scared to come out. They were ab... ARJUNAN ETHIRVEERASINGAM Millions of people acknowledge today that they do not know the meaning of life. JAMES C. DOBSON You know as a scientist that both were developed completely independently of each other in the labor... E. P. THOMPSON When they were both older artists, they had reached a kind of eminence and recognized that they were... JOHN ELDERFIELD We buried ourselves in a hole, really. They were shooting (and) we weren't really checking them on o... JEFF LIGGINS When their city was occupied by the Gauls, and the Romans, who were besieged in the Capitol, had mad... LACTANTIUS They alleged 20 of them (the men) were executed and they actually saw the bodies. KRIS JANOWSKI And afterward Joshua smote them, and slew them, and hanged them on five trees: and they were hanging... BIBLE They have been incredibly special. Before this, if a Great Bend team made it to state they were cons... JEFF LANGREHR Up to now, the figures given were estimates as the victims' bodies had been taken to morgues around ... ANDRZEJ GASKA Romania and Bulgaria were particularly irresponsible. If they wanted to diminish their chances of jo... JACQUES CHIRAC The people ... took them out of the jail, beat them until they were unconscious and then burned them... ISIDRO RAMOS I have buried dead bodies of unspoken words in the graveyard of my being HILAL HAMDAAN Most people were coming down on foot. Everybody was very skinny, very hungry. They were asking us if... JULIETTE TERZIEFF They were, I doubt not, happy enough in their dark stalls, because they were horses, and had plenty ... HUGH MILLER We were told that if we didn't [contribute], they were going to have to do without the bleachers and... CAROL PAGE We were told that if we didn't [contribute], they were going to have to do without the bleachers and... CAROL PAGE Eventually they [Sarunas Marciulionis and Don Nelson] got a call from a representative of the Gratef... JACK MCCALLUM Their bodies were found naked, their necks had cuts and without any identification. We suspect that ... DAVID MAGARA But after a while, that too passes, and she and Jack go back to normal, as they have been before, wh... ANITA SHREVE All things considered, it was a good quarter, particularly in light of what's been happening with th... TOM MORABITO ['Brightside'] was just kind of all improvised and fun, ... They were like kids in a candy store for... ERIC ROBERTS There was something in her eyes! Her eyes were expressive and from the first day that they met, they... AVIJEET DAS We have tested samples that were sent to us from Malawi and they all tested negative. They were from... CELIA ABOLNIK Bodies have their own light which they consume to live: they burn, they are not lit from the outside... EGON SCHIELE From the little reading I had done I had observed that the men who were most in life, who were moldi... HENRY MILLER Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of... THOMAS JEFFERSON I have often wondered what would have happened if Paul and Matthew had been locked up in a room toge... BART D. EHRMAN The real Amazons were long believed to be purely imaginary. They were the mythical warrior women who... ADRIENNE MAYOR It came down to that they had two chances and they scored on them. Give them their due. We might hav... DENNIS COSTELLO These Phoenicians who came with Cadmus and of whom the Gephyraeans were a part brought with them to ... HERODOTUS We only got three dogs and two cats from Louisiana. All have been adopted. The first-hand experience... DEBBIE ANDERSON The two men had a conversation. Brief, cryptic, to the point. As though they had exchanged numbers a... ARUNDHATI ROY These early Saints were indeed homeless, but they were not hopeless. Their hearts were broken, but t... WILFORD W. ANDERSEN I used to think that prizes were damaging and divisive, until I got one. And now they seem sort of m... BILL NIGHY The kids were motivated. They decided before they went out that they were going to have a big inning... WILLY CHILD Veronika had noticed that a lot of people she knew would talk about the horros in other people's liv... PAULO COELHO The team had a rough start to the season when several of their teammates were injured or removed fro... REYNA MATTSON They have been penalized for both of those in the month of July, as they were in the month of June a... GEORGE ABBOTT The kids knew from the beginning that we had a chance and they were determined. We had people who ha... DREW YOAKUM The problem is not with people or churches that are politically active. It is with a party that has ... JOHN C. DANFORTH The phrase ‘separation of church and state,’ which appears in no founding document (only in a le... DENNIS PRAGER Besides the danger of a direct mixture of religion and civil government, there is an evil which ough... JAMES MADISON The commonplace books of the old Puritans were invaluable to them. They would never have been able t... CHARLES HADDON SPURGEON When you think of the people who were important in your life, prettiness was not a factor. They migh... BEN HARNEY They were happy to see the sunshine. They'd obviously like it a little warmer but they seem to be ad... DENNIS CANNING When the tsunami came, they had climbed on to a hill. They kept walking, they got lost, and were wan... SHAUKAT HUSSAIN At first, they were headed to Texas, but the highways were jammed. So they turned around and headed ... CHRISTY GAUKEL Their cats were filthy with muck from the flood waters. The water came from the Napa River which has... CATHERINE CORNEJO They the hazers or eversores were rightly called Overturners, since they had themselves been first o... SAINT AUGUSTINE OF HIPPO They were set to lose all their aircraft and half of their personnel. The capabilities for the state... CAPT. APRIL CONWAY A lot of children find symbolic arithmetic quite difficult and tedious, yet the children loved our t... ELIZABETH SPELKE They were out of their minds tonight. They were clicking on all cylinders. They have the eighth and ... DICK DIENER We must continue to have voting rights in the state, not to politicize this, but they must have a vo... MARC MORIAL But there were women in the world, and from them each of our heroes had taken to himself a wife. The... AUGUSTUS BALDWIN LONGSTREET The one thing I have wanted to stay away from is the steroids. When I had an attack two years ago in... MARY ANN MOBLEY The girls were saying they were still a little tired. I told them they still have one more game. The... KYLE ELLINGSON When we were kids jokers were found in circus and they used to make us happy but,as we are growing t... ARSLAN AHMAD The Pilgrim and the Puritan whom we honor tonight were men who did a great deal of work in the world... HENRY CABOT LODGE The British were white, English, and Protestant, just as we were. They had to have some other basis ... SAMUEL P. HUNTINGTON We have probed the earth, excavated it, burned it, ripped things from it, buried things in it. That ... ROSE ELIZABETH BIRD Sunday: A day given over by Americans to wishing they were dead and in heaven, and that their neighb... H. L. MENCKEN They did not like each other particularly, would never have called one another friend or even have a... GAVRIEL SAVIT I expected them to drive to the hoop. I think it might have been one of those instances where they w... JEFF ACKERMANN My brother and sister had a much worse childhood, I think, because they were older, and they had to ... MARIAH CAREY Therefore leave them alone to go on with the false discourses and to sport until they come face to f... QURAN They were few, but they were hardened in fire. They had been cast out and many would hunger as he di... CONN IGGULDEN They each had secrets they were keeping from the other; secrets they were keeping out of love. MELISSA DE LA CRUZ Hugo and Pat told me they were going to burn the bodies. PAUL WEAKLEY If I could record them and transmit them to the present age, they would constitute nothing more, now... VILLIERS DE L'ISLE-ADAM Most of the emails were from students and, particularly, young architects who want to do something t... CAMERON SINCLAIR
More Ambrose Bierce
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the e... AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate. AMBROSE BIERCE Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for,... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Doubt is the father of invention. AMBROSE BIERCE Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their ... AMBROSE BIERCE Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head. AMBROSE BIERCE Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. AMBROSE BIERCE Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation, n.: The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to ... AMBROSE BIERCE Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions. AMBROSE BIERCE Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent. AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth b... AMBROSE BIERCE For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His e... AMBROSE BIERCE Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understand... AMBROSE BIERCE Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. AMBROSE BIERCE You don't have to be stupid to be a Christian, ... but it probably helps. AMBROSE BIERCE Ocean , n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no g... AMBROSE BIERCE Fidelity. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination. AMBROSE BIERCE The world has suffered more from the ravages of ill-advised marriages than from virginity. AMBROSE BIERCE Marriage. The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, m... AMBROSE BIERCE Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republi... AMBROSE BIERCE Nominee. A modest gentleman shrinking from the distinction of private life and diligently seeking th... AMBROSE BIERCE Learning. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious. AMBROSE BIERCE Consult. To seek another's approval of a course already decided on. AMBROSE BIERCE Happiness is an agreeable sensation, arising from contemplating the misery of others. AMBROSE BIERCE Life. A spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate ... AMBROSE BIERCE An acquaintance is someone we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE A temporary insanity curable by marriage. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty. The power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Let me tell you what a writer is. A writer takes comprehensive views, holds large convictions, makes... AMBROSE BIERCE Corporation. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. AMBROSE BIERCE Don't steal; thou it never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat. AMBROSE BIERCE Philanthropist. A rich (and usually bald) old gentleman who has trained himself to grin while his co... AMBROSE BIERCE Age. That period of life in which we compound for the vices that remain by reviling those we have no... AMBROSE BIERCE Success is the one unpardonable sin against one's fellows. AMBROSE BIERCE Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understan... AMBROSE BIERCE Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pi... AMBROSE BIERCE Knowledge is the small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify. AMBROSE BIERCE Erudition. Dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint. A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad gover... AMBROSE BIERCE Revolution is an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment. AMBROSE BIERCE Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity. AMBROSE BIERCE Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on. AMBROSE BIERCE Take not God's name in vain; select a time when it will have effect. AMBROSE BIERCE A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support. AMBROSE BIERCE Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain. AMBROSE BIERCE Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly un... AMBROSE BIERCE Eulogy. Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration t... AMBROSE BIERCE Admiration; is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves. AMBROSE BIERCE To bother about the best method of accomplishing an accidental result. AMBROSE BIERCE A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing. AMBROSE BIERCE All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher. AMBROSE BIERCE A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves a glorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting. AMBROSE BIERCE Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue. AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white. AMBROSE BIERCE They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Heaven lies about us in our infancy and the world begins lying about us pretty soon afterward. AMBROSE BIERCE As records of courts and justice are admissible, it can easily be proved that powerful and malevolen... AMBROSE BIERCE Before undergoing a surgical operation, arrange your temporal affairs. You may live. AMBROSE BIERCE Politeness -- The most acceptable hypocrisy. AMBROSE BIERCE A man is known by the company he organizes. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapaciti... AMBROSE BIERCE Enthusiasm. A distemper of youth, curable by small doses of repentance in connection with outward ap... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than me. AMBROSE BIERCE An egotist is a person interested in himself than in me! AMBROSE BIERCE Duty. That which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire. AMBROSE BIERCE Opiate. An unlocked door in the prison of Identity. It leads into the jail yard. AMBROSE BIERCE Insurance: An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comforta... AMBROSE BIERCE Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you. AMBROSE BIERCE Alien. An American sovereign in his probationary state. AMBROSE BIERCE Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Mis... AMBROSE BIERCE Witticism. A sharp and clever remark, usually quoted and seldom noted; what the Philistine is please... AMBROSE BIERCE Wit. The salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving it out. AMBROSE BIERCE A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man, who has no gills. AMBROSE BIERCE Impartial. Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of a cont... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the worl... AMBROSE BIERCE Physician -- One upon whom we set our hopes when ill and our dogs when well. AMBROSE BIERCE Divorce. A resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries. AMBROSE BIERCE Consul. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is give... AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscien... AMBROSE BIERCE A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be. AMBROSE BIERCE Confidante. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C. AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is ... AMBROSE BIERCE A funeral is a pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker. AMBROSE BIERCE An accident is an inevitable occurrence due to the actions of immutable natural laws. AMBROSE BIERCE To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense. AMBROSE BIERCE An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly k... AMBROSE BIERCE Historian. A broad -- gauge gossip. AMBROSE BIERCE Habit is a shackle for the free. AMBROSE BIERCE Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarti... AMBROSE BIERCE Litigant. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones. AMBROSE BIERCE Appeal. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw. AMBROSE BIERCE Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of judges, ad... AMBROSE BIERCE Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age. AMBROSE BIERCE Experience. The wisdom that enables us to recognize in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly tha... AMBROSE BIERCE The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. AMBROSE BIERCE PROPHECY, n. The art and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery. AMBROSE BIERCE When in Rome, do as Rome does. AMBROSE BIERCE To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Censor, n. An officer of certain governments, employed to supress the works of genius. Among the Rom... AMBROSE BIERCE Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen. AMBROSE BIERCE Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by frie... AMBROSE BIERCE Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world. AMBROSE BIERCE Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things withou... AMBROSE BIERCE Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money. AMBROSE BIERCE Genealogy. An account of one's descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his o... AMBROSE BIERCE Absurdity. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion. AMBROSE BIERCE Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. AMBROSE BIERCE Woman absent is woman dead. AMBROSE BIERCE The covers of this book are too far apart. AMBROSE BIERCE Abscond. To move in a mysterious way, commonly with the property of another. AMBROSE BIERCE Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for their deso... AMBROSE BIERCE A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wi... AMBROSE BIERCE The Senate is a body of old men charged with high duties and misdemeanors. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of ... AMBROSE BIERCE Alliance. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserte... AMBROSE BIERCE ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply in... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intima... AMBROSE BIERCE ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat ... AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction o... AMBROSE BIERCE Convent. A place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. AMBROSE BIERCE Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable. AMBROSE BIERCE International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smoulde... AMBROSE BIERCE DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others. AMBROSE BIERCE A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her. AMBROSE BIERCE Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic. AMBROSE BIERCE There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy. AMBROSE BIERCE FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed. AMBROSE BIERCE ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Mus... AMBROSE BIERCE HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a com... AMBROSE BIERCE ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A m... AMBROSE BIERCE YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the So... AMBROSE BIERCE Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo AMBROSE BIERCE Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscie... AMBROSE BIERCE One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs. AMBROSE BIERCE OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was onc... AMBROSE BIERCE Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. AMBROSE BIERCE Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact. AMBROSE BIERCE Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited. AMBROSE BIERCE QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled wh... AMBROSE BIERCE When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover. AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of... AMBROSE BIERCE Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. AMBROSE BIERCE ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapaci... AMBROSE BIERCE LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property s... AMBROSE BIERCE The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling. AMBROSE BIERCE Birth: The first and direst of all disasters. AMBROSE BIERCE Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. AMBROSE BIERCE Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affai... AMBROSE BIERCE Amnesty, n. The state's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish. AMBROSE BIERCE Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name. AMBROSE BIERCE Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking. AMBROSE BIERCE Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. AMBROSE BIERCE Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake ... AMBROSE BIERCE Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth ke... AMBROSE BIERCE Dog - a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the wor... AMBROSE BIERCE Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. AMBROSE BIERCE Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success. AMBROSE BIERCE Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities ... AMBROSE BIERCE Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the... AMBROSE BIERCE Lawsuit: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. AMBROSE BIERCE Compromise, n. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction ... AMBROSE BIERCE The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them up. AMBROSE BIERCE TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeab... AMBROSE BIERCE Egotist , n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me. AMBROSE BIERCE Positive , adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice. AMBROSE BIERCE Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. AMBROSE BIERCE Sweater , n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. AMBROSE BIERCE Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the world in six days and wa... AMBROSE BIERCE