MAGIC, n. An art of converting superstition into coin. There are other arts serving the same high purpose, but the discreet lexicographer does not name them.

RECONCILIATION, n. A suspension of hostilities. An armed truce for the purpose of digging up the dead.

DIPLOMACY, n. The patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

LOGIC, n. The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion --thus:_Major Premise_: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man._Minor Premise_: One man can dig a posthole in sixty seconds; therefore --_Conclusion_: Sixty men can dig a posthole in one second. This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.

REALISM, n. The art of depicting nature as it is seem by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.