Love is inaudible—until you hear it. And once you do, you’ll never forget the sound of her voice.


Love is bread and water to the soul. My relationships are quite soggy.


I am the Trolley of Love. Free rides before noon and after 11:58 am!


We made love like a half a minute. I brought the thirty seconds, and she provided the excuse as to why she didn’t have enough time to have sex with me.


Let me be clear: I don’t want to make love to a mannequin—I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.


She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.