Long time ago I used to have a life, until someone told me to create a Facebook account.

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It's like Facebook in real life.

There's life without Facebook and Internet? Really? Send me the link.

Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning, but the hamster fell off long time ago?

I can make the doorbell ring any time I want, all I have to do is go to the bathroom.

Tried going out with my girlfriend but by the time she finished putting on her makeup the weekend was over.