So 'ere the storm of war broke out, Religion spawn'd a various rout Of petulant capricious sec...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Synods are mystical Bear-gardens. Where Elders, Deputies, Church-wardens, And other Members of...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) 'Tis not antiquity, nor author, That makes truth truth, altho' time's daughter.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For truth is precious and divine; Too rich a pearl for carnal swine.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Is not the winding up witnesses, And nicking, more than half the bus'ness? For witnesses, like...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Your pettifoggers damn their souls, To share with knaves in cheating fools.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He knew whats'ever 's to be known, But much more than he knew would own.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Nor do I know what is become Of him, more than the Pope of Rome.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Deep sighted in intelligence, Ideas, atoms, influences.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He knew what's what, and that's as high As metaphysic wit can fly.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Nothing's more dull and negligent Than an old, lazy government, That knows no interest of stat...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He ne'er consider'd it as loth To look a gift-horse in the mouth, And very wisely would lay fo...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The truest characters of ignorance Are vanity, and pride, and annoyance.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The trenchant blade Toledo trusty. For want of fighting was grown rusty, And ate into itself f...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Men do not stumble over mountains, but over molehills.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) In mathematics he was greater Than Tycho Brahe, or Erra Pater; For he, by geometric scale, ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And wisely tell what hour o' th' day The clock does strike by Algebra.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) A degenerate nobleman, or one that is proud of his birth, is like a turnip. There is nothing good ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The self-same thing they will abhor One way, and long another for.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Nick Machiavel had ne'er a trick (Though he gave his name to our Old Nick).
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And force them, though it was in spite Of Nature and their stars, to write.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Authority is never without hate.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He who rules by moral force is like the pole star, which remains in place while all the lesser star...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Authority intoxicates, And makes mere sots of magistrates; The fumes of it invade the brain, ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) I've heard old cunning stagers Say, fools for arguments use wagers.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He'd undertake to prove, by force Of argument, a man's no horse. He'd prove a buzzard is no fo...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Whatever Sceptic could inquire for, For every why he had a wherefore.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Quoth Hudibras, I smell a rat; Ralpho, thou dost prevaricate.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Cheered up himself with ends of verse And sayings of philosophers.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Where entity and quiddity, The ghosts of defunct bodies, fly.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For zeal's a dreadful termagant, That teaches saints to tear and cant.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For now the field is not far off Where we must give the world a proof Of deeds, not words.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He was in Logic, a great critic, Profoundly skill'd in Analytic; He could distinguish, and div...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The worst of rebels never arm To do their king or country harm, But draw their swords to do th...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Through thick and thin.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Why should not Conscience have vacation As well as other Courts o' th' nation? Have equal powe...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Doubtless the pleasure is as great Of being cheated as to cheat.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) H' had got a hurt O' th' inside of a deadlier sort.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) 'Tis true no lover has that pow'r T' enforce a desperate amour, As he that has two strings t' ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Look before you ere you leap.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) This was the penn'worth of his thought.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) 'Tis virtue, wit, and worth, and all That men divine and sacred call; For what is worth, in an...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) As if Religion were intended For nothing else but to be mended.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) What makes all doctrines plain and clear?-- About two hundred pounds a year. And that which wa...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For his religion, it was fit To match his learning and his wit; 'Twas Presbyterian true blue; ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Have always been at daggers-drawing, And one another clapper-clawing.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) His fear was greater than his haste: For fear, though fleeter than the wind, Believes 'tis alw...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Fear is an ague, that forsakes And haunts, by fits, those whom it takes; And they'll opine the...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And as the French we conquer'd once, Now give us laws for pantaloons, The length of breeches a...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) So justice while she winks at crimes, Stumbles on innocence sometimes.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He that is down can fall no lower.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The oyster-women lock'd their fish up, And trudged away to cry, No Bishop.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Videlicit, That each man swore to do his best To damn and perjure all the rest.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) As you sow y' are like to reap.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And pulpit, drum ecclesiastic, Was beat with fist instead of a stick.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And poets by their sufferings grow,-- As if there were no more to do, To make a poet excellent...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He made an instrument to know If the moon shine at full or no; That would, as soon as e'er she...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The moon pull'd off her veil of light, That hides her face by day from sight (Mysterious veil,...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Such as take lodgings in a head That's to be let unfurnished.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) 'Tis not amiss, ere ye're giv'n o'er, To try one desp'rate med'cine more; For where your case ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) 'Cause grace and virtue are within Prohibited degrees of kin; And therefore no true saint allo...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) The Roman senate, when within The city walls an owl was seen, Did cause their clergy, with lus...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For rhetoric, he could not ope His mouth, but out there flew a trope.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) With books and money placed, for show Like nest eggs, to make clients lay, And for his false o...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Sure 'tis an orthodox opinion, That grace is founded in dominion.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For blocks are better cleft with wedges, Tan tools of sharp or subtle edges, And dullest nonse...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) A Babylonish dialect Which learned pedants much affect.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Besides 'tis known he could speak Greek As naturally as pigs squeak; That Latin was no more di...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For though to smatter ends of Greek Or Latin be the rhetoric Of pedants counted, and vain-glor...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And though it be a two-foot trout, 'Tis with a single hair pulled out.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Unconscious humor.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) If he that in the field is slain Be in the bed of honour lain, He that is beaten may be said ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) As quick as lightning, in the breach Just in the place where honour's lodged, As wise philosop...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Beside, he was a shrewd philosopher, And had read ev'ry text and gloss over Whate'er the crabb...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) As men of inward light are wont To turn their optics in upon't.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) To swallow gudgeons ere they're catch'd. And count their chickens ere they're hatch'd.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Ay me! what perils do environ The man that meddles with cold iron!
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Quoth Sidrophel, If you suppose, Sir Knight, that I am one of those, I might suspect, and take...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) True as the dial to the sun, Although it be not shin'd upon.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Cry out upon the stars for doing Ill offices, to cross their wooing.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) This hairy meteor did announce The fall of sceptres and of crowns.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) A grisly meteor on his face.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) With vollies of eternal babble.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) But still his tongue ran on, the less Of weight it bore, with greater ease.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) You have a wrong sow by the ear.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Shear swine, all cry and no wool.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He that will win his dame must do As love does when he draws his bow; With one hand thrust the...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) She that with poetry is won, Is but a desk to write upon; And what men say of her they mean ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Great wits and valours, like great states, Do sometimes sink with their own weights.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) We grant, although he had much wit, H' was very shy of using it, As being loth to wear it out,...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) So Noah, when he anchor'd safe on The mountain's top, his lofty haven, And all the passengers ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For trouts are tickled best in muddy water.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He that complies against his will, Is of his own opinion still, Which he may adhere to, yet di...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Like men condemned to thunderbolts, Who, ere the blow, become mere dolts.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Honor is like a widow, won With brisk attempt and putting on.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Now, while the honour thou hast got Is spick and span new.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And still be doing, never done.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And he that makes his soul his surety, I think, does give the best security.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) I loved no King since Forty One When Prelacy went down, A Cloak and Band I then put on, ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Whatever I can say or do. I'm sure not much avails; I shall still Vicar be of Bray, Whic...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) I dare be bold, you're one of those Have took the covenant, With cavaliers are cavaliers ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Some force whole regions, in despite O' geography, to change their site; Make former times sha...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For rhyme the rudder is of verses, With which, like ships, they steer their courses.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For discords make the sweetest airs.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Her voice, the music of the spheres, So loud, it deafens mortals' ears; As wise philosophers h...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Learn'd he was in medic'nal lore, For by his side a pouch he wore, Replete with strange hermet...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) With mortal crisis doth portend, My days to appropinque an end.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Success, the mark no mortal wit, Or surest hand, can always hit: For whatsoe'er we perpetrate,...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) And bid the devil take the hin'most.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Yes! ready money is Aladdin's lamp.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Still amorous, and fond, and billing, Like Philip and Mary, on a shilling.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Compound for sins they are inclin'd to, By damning those they have no mind to.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For as our modern wits behold, Mounted a pick-back on the old, Much farther off, much further ...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He could raise scruples dark and nice, And after solve 'em in a trice; As if Divinity had catc...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Some have been beaten till they know What wood a cudgel's of by th' blow: Some kick'd until th...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) He who does not make his words rather serve to conceal than discover the sense of his heart deserve...
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) For brevity is very good, Where we are, or are not understood.
SAMUEL BUTLER (1) Which he by hook or crook has gather'd And by his own inventions father'd.
SAMUEL BUTLER 1 I'll make the fur Fly 'bout the ears of the old cur.
SAMUEL BUTLER 1 Smell a rat.
SAMUEL BUTLER 1 People are lucky and unlucky not according to what they get absolutely, but according to the ratio b...
SAMUEL BUTLER Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it, shall perish by it.
SAMUEL BUTLER To live is like to love - all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.
SAMUEL BUTLER If I die prematurely I shall be saved from being bored to death at my own success.
SAMUEL BUTLER The only living works are those which have drained much of the author's own life into them.
SAMUEL BUTLER Self-preservation is the first law of nature.
SAMUEL BUTLER A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.
SAMUEL BUTLER Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
SAMUEL BUTLER Life is like playing a violin solo in public and learning the instrument as one goes on.
SAMUEL BUTLER The truest characters of ignorance are vanity and pride and arrogance.
SAMUEL BUTLER When you've told someone that you've left them a legacy the only decent thing to do is to di...
SAMUEL BUTLER The dons of Oxford and Cambridge are too busy educating the young men to be able to teach them anyth...
SAMUEL BUTLER Don't learn to do, but learn in doing. Let your falls not be on a prepared ground, but let them ...
SAMUEL BUTLER Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
SAMUEL BUTLER The advantage of doing one's praising to oneself is that one can lay it on so thick and exactly in t...
SAMUEL BUTLER I went to the Bach Choir concert and heard Mozart's Requiem. I did not rise warmly to it. Then I hea...
SAMUEL BUTLER It is a wise tune that knows its own father, and I like my music to be the legitimate offspring of r...
SAMUEL BUTLER The money men make lives after them.
SAMUEL BUTLER The want of money is the root of all evil.
SAMUEL BUTLER All animals, except man, know that the principal business of life is to enjoy it.
SAMUEL BUTLER For most men, and most circumstances, pleasure --tangible material prosperity in this world --is the...
SAMUEL BUTLER A lawyers dream of heaven; every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to r...
SAMUEL BUTLER In law, nothing is certain but the expense.
SAMUEL BUTLER People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy.
SAMUEL BUTLER Life is one long process of getting tired.
SAMUEL BUTLER Is life worth living? This is a question for an embryo not for a man.
SAMUEL BUTLER Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.
SAMUEL BUTLER A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage -- but they are also no less invalid...
SAMUEL BUTLER A friend who cannot at a pinch remember a thing or two that never happened is as bad as one who does...
SAMUEL BUTLER When the righteous man truth away from his righteousness that he hath committed and doeth that which...
SAMUEL BUTLER It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.
SAMUEL BUTLER Belief like any other moving body follows the path of least resistance.
SAMUEL BUTLER The only living works are those which have drained much of the author's own life into them.
SAMUEL BUTLER Arguments are like fire-arms which a man may keep at home but should not carry about with him.
SAMUEL BUTLER We are not won by arguments that we can analyze, but by tone and temper; by the manner, which is the...
SAMUEL BUTLER Neither irony or sarcasm is argument.
SAMUEL BUTLER Because they did not see merit where they should have seen it, people, to express their regret, will...
SAMUEL BUTLER There is but one step from the Academy to the Fad.
SAMUEL BUTLER The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
SAMUEL BUTLER I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.
SAMUEL BUTLER Lying has a kind of respect and reverence with it. We pay a person the compliment of acknowledging h...
SAMUEL BUTLER Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of some sense to know how to lie well.
SAMUEL BUTLER To die is but to leave off dying and do the thing once for all.
SAMUEL BUTLER The dead should be judged like criminals, impartially, but they should be allowed the benefit of the...
SAMUEL BUTLER There is nothing which at once affects a man so much and so little as his own death.
SAMUEL BUTLER What is faith but a kind of betting or speculation after all? It should be, I bet that my Redeemer l...
SAMUEL BUTLER You can do very little with faith, but you can do nothing without it.
SAMUEL BUTLER Don't learn to do, but learn in doing. Let your falls not be on a prepared ground, but let them be b...
SAMUEL BUTLER Man is God's highest present development. He is the latest thing in God.
SAMUEL BUTLER If God wants us to do a thing, he should make his wishes sufficiently clear. Sensible people will wa...
SAMUEL BUTLER We all like to forgive, and love best not those who offend us least, nor who have done most for us, ...
SAMUEL BUTLER There are more fools than knaves in the world, else the knaves would not have enough to live upon.
SAMUEL BUTLER Eating is touch carried to the bitter end.
SAMUEL BUTLER The healthy stomach is nothing if it is not conservative. Few radicals have good digestions.
SAMUEL BUTLER Justice is my being allowed to do whatever I like. Injustice is whatever prevents my doing so.
SAMUEL BUTLER Youth is like spring, an over-praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. A...
SAMUEL BUTLER There are two great rules of life, the one general and the other particular. The first is that every...
SAMUEL BUTLER I believe that he was really sorry that people would not believe he was sorry that he was not more s...
SAMUEL BUTLER Life, they urge, would be intolerable if men were to be guided in all they did by reason and reason ...
SAMUEL BUTLER If you follow reason far enough it always leads to conclusions that are contrary to reason.
SAMUEL BUTLER The public do not know enough to be experts, but know enough to decide between them.
SAMUEL BUTLER In matrimony, to hesitate is sometimes to be saved.
SAMUEL BUTLER It is tact that is golden, not silence.
SAMUEL BUTLER Silence is not always tact, but it is tact that is golden, not silence.
SAMUEL BUTLER All philosophies, if you ride them home, are nonsense, but some are greater nonsense than others.
SAMUEL BUTLER From a worldly point of view, there is no mistake so great as that of being always right.
SAMUEL BUTLER Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
SAMUEL BUTLER When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through eithe...
SAMUEL BUTLER Half the vices which the world condemns most loudly have seeds of good in them and require moderated...
SAMUEL BUTLER The function of vice is to keep virtue within reasonable bounds.
SAMUEL BUTLER The three most important things a man has are, briefly, his private parts, his money, and his religi...
SAMUEL BUTLER A blind man knows he cannot see, and is glad to be led, though it be by a dog; but he that is blind ...
SAMUEL BUTLER Vaccination is the medical sacrament corresponding to baptism.
SAMUEL BUTLER The most important service rendered by the press and the magazines is that of educating people to ap...
SAMUEL BUTLER Loyalty is still the same, whether it win or lose the game; true as a dial to the sun, although it b...
SAMUEL BUTLER One of the first businesses of a sensible man is to know when he is beaten, and to leave off fightin...
SAMUEL BUTLER Logic is like the sword
SAMUEL BUTLER All progress is based upon a universal innate desire on the part of every organism to live beyond it...
SAMUEL BUTLER Everyone should keep a mental wastepaper basket, and the older he grows, the more things will he pro...
SAMUEL BUTLER