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Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.


Bill Maher

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Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, t...
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DENIS LEARY It's always the case that the minority has to navigate two different worlds. Women have to know ...
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AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS When you've got somebody who's a flaming liberal like Bill Maher calling you out, something&...
DAVE MUSTAINE I say, 'I'm bi, my love knows no gender,' and the straight community says, 'Oh right...
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ANTHONY PERKINS The main prank that we play with props is for people's birthdays. The special effects people wil...
CATHERINE BELL There is a large group that's not represented on television - the group that falls somewhere in ...
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CLAIRE GUTHRIE GASTANAGA I wanted people not to care about whether you were gay, straight, black, white, transgender, whateve...
BOY GEORGE We're asking people, as best they can, go about your normal routine: Make sure you go to work, make ...
DOUGLAS DUNCAN Actual gay people can make many others feel uncomfortable and paranoid because they don't know a...
DAN SAVAGE A liberal pretending to be a conservative? That's like a straight person pretending to be gay to...
DAVID MAMET The data show that under any scenario you use, people are going to get more money from the current s...
MATT FOREMAN People like Bill Maher, who brags about being a cynic, it sickens me. I am the least cynical person ...
PENN JILLETTE Birthdays are God’s way of telling us to eat more chocolate cake.
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TED OLSON Only after the last tree has been cut down,only after the last river has been poisoned,only after th...
THE CREE PEOPLE I don't care what straight people do, I don't care what gay people do. I don't care what...
ASAP ROCKY Let's get one thing straight - there is a big difference between a quitter and someone who gives...
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KATIE TAYLOR Rock Hudson let his gay agent marry him off to his secretary because he didn't want people to get th...
ANTHONY PERKINS My writing books with positive gay characters has come more out of anger than anything else: anger a...
NANCY GARDEN We need a brand as a party that says we're the party that are going to help working-class people...
TIM RYAN Kids are always going to be around people who break world records and that. It's how you deal wi...
ADAM PEATY It's really because of the kids. We have kids that want to be outside, so you get to know people.
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BEN HINES You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if...
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LUKE MACFARLANE Sex is a natural function. You can't make it happen, but you can teach people to let it happen.
WILLIAM MASTERS i know im not the girl you wanted. not the one you want to hear from. but what you see is what you g...
SIMI GREWAL Never let the negativity get to you. There are gonna be a lot of people you have to plow through, bu...
BECKY G The American taxpayers should not have to send one more penny on the Administration's Iraq misad...
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LORI BERRY My favorite role is mommy. I know that sounds cheesy to people who don't have kids, or there are...
VANESSA LACHEY I can tell you for sure: people who are at their peak right now will not sustain that. You can't...
BRYAN CRANSTON We can watch every time someone looks at a profile. Do they choose to send that person a message? We...
SAM YAGAN Fiction is sort of a way to set the record straight, and let people at least believe that justice ca...
DAVID BALDACCI If you look at everything I do - even in 'Boo!' there's a message, and it's always &...
TYLER PERRY A great ad campaign will make a bad product fail faster. It will get more people to know it's ba...
WILLIAM BERNBACH People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply s...
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WOLFGANG PUCK I don't ever want to become Bill Maher where I have to find some strong opinion on something jus...
DOUG STANHOPE Terror doesn't change people from gay to straight. It just hurts innocent people.
DASHANNE STOKES I've talked to Bill Clinton - he's the ultimate rock star; no one's more charming than h...
JAY-Z I try to explain to people that you get the roles that are right when they're right. If you have...
ED HELMS A lot of people have said to me, 'That's a great idea, running for president. You'll get...
JOHN BOLTON I don't think anyone's out to get more welfare, but people have the right to work for wages with som...
BILL EWING Of course, I have a different vested interest in the gay community, because I am gay, and I would ce...
JANIS IAN So people ask, 'But how can you work for a friend?' I say it's because I know that the m...
GAYLE KING An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
WILL ROGERS I am not the sort of woman who would wear high heels with a bathing suit. Let's get that straigh...
VERA WANG We have to allow people in the states to make their own decisions, to get government agencies out of...
PETE SESSIONS You have to remember what a super PAC is: a bunch of wealthy donors who want to send a message tradi...
COREY LEWANDOWSKI I just love cake, confetti cake, to be specific. It has little colored candies inside the cake, and ...
CHANNING TATUM You might want to buy a new dress, but when you know your priority is to send the kids to college, i...
JUDI MARTINDALE You might make a lot of money, but it's very hard to get out from under that rug. The more you c...
PETER BERG I always say: 'Share your happiness with the world, give other people that happiness and let it ...
IGGY AZALEA Can you tell me what's more unconstitutional than taking away from the people of America their F...
SHEILA JACKSON LEE I really subscribe to that old adage that you should never let the audience get ahead of you for a s...
PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON If you're trying to create a company, it's like baking a cake. You have to have all the ingr...
ELON MUSK I can't let the baggage of my private life get into work. Artists are more fragile than normal p...
BIPASHA BASU There is a core value I wanted to illuminate: No matter what kind of family you have - straight, gay...
LISA CHOLODENKO I think it's the most responsible thing you can do, to have kids. It's not something to be t...
GEORGE CLOONEY Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But...
DAVE ATTELL A number of people in the United States, almost everyone, is using plastic cards to pay for things, ...
JACK DORSEY If the people have no bread, let them eat cake.
MARIE ANTOINETTE In psychology and behavioral economics, people have shown that if you just describe options in a cer...
CASS SUNSTEIN I don't see how you can lead this country to succeed in Iraq if you say wrong war, wrong time, wrong...
GEORGE W. BUSH Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. ...
CHARLES BARKLEY You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's no...
SAM KINISON Typing and read receipts make a lot of sense for messaging. You write a letter, you put it in an env...
EVAN SPIEGEL Talent is the No. 1 priority for a CEO. You think it's about vision and strategy, but you have t...
ANDREA JUNG We'll have cake and punch and share stories. It will also give us a chance to let people know what w...
JENNIFER YOUNG Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays. Americans arrive at the border...
SCOTT THOMPSON I don't care who anybody sleeps with. If a couple has been together all that time - and there ar...
BETTY WHITE And we have to send the message that that can simply not occur.
BALBINA HWANG So it really does have a sort of bittersweet quality. Kids like to have adventures and to believe th...
CATHY RIGBY I have to say, I'm still surprised anyone's nice to me, that anyone talks to me. But I think...
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TOM MAHER The shadow self is what lies beneath the makeup. It’s those ugly parts that you haven’t accepted...
NATHAN REESE MAHER Patches don’t look it, but when attached to your soul they can get pretty heavy. They go over the ...
NATHAN REESE MAHER Because I am, just as you are you. We don’t always get to pick who we are, Shelly Wynn, but we can...
NATHAN REESE MAHER All is as if the world did cease to exist. The city's monuments go unseen, its past unheard, and its...
NATHAN REESE MAHER Cry no tears for us, my friend.” I pry at her fingers, panicking to be released in fear that she m...
NATHAN REESE MAHER That’s a stupid name! Whirly-gig is much better, I think. Who in their right
mind would point...
NATHAN REESE MAHER I rouse Emily to our guests, as she finishes off our fifteenth snowman by setting the head atop its ...
NATHAN REESE MAHER She leaves my side and heads deeper into
the apartment singing, “—if the spirit tries to hi...
NATHAN REESE MAHER I steal one glance over my shoulder as soon as we are far from the foreboding luminance of the neon ...
NATHAN REESE MAHER History doesn’t start with a tall building
and a card with your name written on it, but jokes...
NATHAN REESE MAHER Did Bach ever eat
pancakes at midnight?
NATHAN REESE MAHER I can’t help but ask, “Do you know where you are?”
She turns to me with a foreboding glar...
NATHAN REESE MAHER There is a stillness between us, a period of restlessness that ties my stomach
in a hangman’s...
NATHAN REESE MAHER Call me crazy, but there is something terribly wrong with this city.
NATHAN REESE MAHER Do we not each dream of dreams? Do we not dance on the notes of lost
memories? Then are we not ...
NATHAN REESE MAHER It’s no big deal. It’s kind of like a tattoo. It won’t hurt, not too much, just a few stitches...
NATHAN REESE MAHER