Lawyers are like morticians. We all need one sooner or later, but better later than sooner.

A lawyer's dream of heaven: every man reclaimed his property at the resurrection, and each tried to recover it from all his forefathers.

It is unfair to believe everything we hear about lawyers. Some of it might not be true.

And whether you're an honest man, or whether you're a thief, Depends on whose solicitor has given me my brief.

It took man thousands of years to put words down on paper, and his lawyers still wish he wouldn't.

Lawyers are men who hire out their words and anger.