Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I twice failed rather disgracefully.

The heart of marriage is memories.

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked