Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to kill someone by chopping their head off, rolling them up in a carpet and lighting it on fire, you better make sure they're dead!

When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. ... There are no consequences on stage,

When I think about it, I mean really, I'm 47, I should be embarrassed by this. A grown man, barefoot, walking on mousetraps, just to get an audience to laugh. It's sad in a way.

Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?

Give me liberty or a bran muffin!

Give me liberty or give me a bran muffin!